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(7 Posts)
janey223 Mon 04-Jul-11 22:07:11

My anxiety has just been getting worse over the past few weeks ( I'm 16w 4 days). I'm now barely sleeping at night ( about 4-5 hours disturbed sleep) and when I am sleeping am having the most horrible dreams about baby, it being very premature and me doing stupid and ridiculous things and ones wirh baby being hurt. I know it's just my fears (scared of being a bad mum like mine was) and that I'll probably be great but the dreams are disturbing!

Does anyone have any advice? I've tried massage but cant enjoy them or end up feeling sick, the pharmacist recommended lavender but that makes me feel sick, as do baths, arg! And I'm driving people mad because I'm so moody because im tired and stressed sad

thingamajig Mon 04-Jul-11 22:10:52

Oh poor you, its horrid when you feel like this.
Do you like swimming - I found doing physical exercise was great to improve my mood and being tired afterwards helped me sleep better.
Sorry not much help

squiggleywiggler Mon 04-Jul-11 22:12:48

Hi Janey

it's not unusual for women to feel extra-anxious when pregnant - all those blinking hormones flying around, a whole host of enormous stuff to think about etc.

I have a couple of practical suggestions.

1) talk to your MW, it may be that there's someone you can talk to (like a counsellor) to help you release some of your fears and anxieties especially around stuff with your mum

2) look in to pregnancy yoga - can really make a difference

3) something like acupuncture or reflexology can really alter moods and relax

4) Check out - particularly the pregnancy relaxation CD

5) Talk to your partner or a friend about your fears

6) Have you thought about having a doula (trainees are a cheap option if money's an issue and there's also a hardship fund)? We often work with people feeling particularly anxious and can be a great support through the pregnancy. PM me if you want me to help you find someone local

Well done for coming on here and asking for some support - great first step to feeling a bit less anxious.

janey223 Mon 04-Jul-11 23:44:31

Sorry that went on a bit of a rant!

I was just looking for ideas to help the anxiety!

janey223 Tue 05-Jul-11 00:02:19

It's been a long time since I've swam, I don't even know if I can do it any more! I remember them always being warm and clammy which will just set off my morning sickness... as so many things do.

My midwife isn't very nice to be honest, certainly not someone I'd feel comfortable discussing this with, even simple questions she acts like I've asked the most ridiculous question and I should already know these things.

I have been looking into yoga, I'm waiting on my current gym membership ending (you know those days you have the energy to go then have to go to an unairconditioned, clammy, man-sweat smelling gym...) and the one I start in 4 weeks does pregnancy yoga. Never done yoga or group classes at all before though.

I don't think I'd be able to sit through acupuncture or reflexology right now but will look into the hypnotherapy and a doula, never heard of them before but just doing a bit of googling.

To be honest my friends just dismiss me for it, I told one about some of the dreams and she said 'that sounds like something you would do', jokingly (um, i'm sure, clumsy and forgetful, well,yes) so not exactly helpful! The only friend I have who actually has a kid is quite helpful but we're not close enough for me to be comfortable sharing too much really.

Thanks very much for the replies.
Just having someone not just dismiss me as being silly and tell me to 'relax' helps a bit!

LDNmummy Tue 05-Jul-11 00:08:58

Hi Janey, I wrote a response to this earlier but it must not have worked for some reason.

I suffer from severe anxiety and it also got progressively worse during the earlier part of my pregnancy and at around your stage (now 26+5) I was referred by my GP for CBT to avoid it escalating. I also deal with the insomnia inducing type of anxiety and it is so much worse when you are pregnant.

As part of my CBT the first thing I have done is something called Progressive Relaxation Therapy. It is very simple and not time consuming and it has really helped me to rest better.

Its as easy as a few body tensing and releasing excercises (kind of like a self massage) and stretches and listening to a soothing voice guiding you through it (I do this with a recording). It is not meditation, but more about releasing the stress from the muscles in your body so your not so on alert from the worry and can relax better.

It has really worked for me to help with sleeping and I do it once a day before bedtime. I just use a very simple one on YouTube:

It sounds silly but if you are open to it, it does really work. The video I linked is very simple and there are lots of different types for different people depending on how into it you want to get:

The second one is very good too and actually uses the muscle tensing techniques so you really get more out of it.

The best way to do this is sitting on a chair but in a relaxed position or on the bed also in a relaxed position.

Just don't do any tensing of the stomach muscles while pregnant

I hope this helps and if it isnt for you then I hope something else helps smile

Misty9 Tue 05-Jul-11 05:37:38

Hi there
Sorry to hear you're feeling like this - increased anxiety during pregnancy is quite normal with all those hormones flying around. It's also understandable if it's making you think about your own childhood/relationship with your mum.

Bad dreams can occur when we aren't giving enough time in waking hours to process our anxieties. Maybe try taking 10-15mins per day to think about becoming a mother and how that makes you feel; write down any worrying thoughts (such as, I'll be just like my own mum...) and try to think of rational alternatives/evidence against them being true (there will always be evidence for you to think that way, but try to balance it out a bit). Part of the aim is to disrupt those thought processes as we get in habitual ways of thinking which we often don't question.
Also, talk to your OH about concerns - it's likely he'll have some worries about becoming a dad as well.

If it was as easy as people telling you to just 'relax' - people like me would be out of a job! The relaxation exercises mentioned above are a great idea to try out too, as are the physical exercise recommendations.
Failing all that - if your sleep is getting really disturbed just try to make sure you nap during the day if poss, and drink enough water and eat well to keep as healthy as possible. I'm writing this having been awake since 4am due to SPD/heat/hunger/vivid dreams....

Good luck and hope that helps x

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