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i am 8-12weeks pregnant my husband want get rid off baby i dont

(8 Posts)
1natasha Thu 30-Jun-11 22:12:39

i just find out that i am pregnant , did not feel sick like with my other 3
all its was i feel very sleepy , no energy , not eating normal less , lost wait
its going on for few month now
this baby wasent been plan & he/she did not ask 2 be created
i tald my husband he was in shok , we did not plan 4 this baby ,
about 2 split up , he want me get rid of IT ( how he call the baby)
my oldest daughter 12 very happy , she happy 2 b oldest sister again look after baby.....
what shall i do i know for sure i am NOT agree for abortion NEVER
where do i go with my kids i want to keep this baby ,
i have no one here , no where to go

Mama5isalive Fri 01-Jul-11 09:24:55

Oh Natasha - im so sorry that you in this awful situation, i dont know what to say but keep strong and think about our feelings!
i dont think your DH should tell you to get rid, if he is leaving why will you having this baby effect him?

follow your heart and stay strong you oldest seems lovely - all the best xxx

babyonbord Fri 01-Jul-11 09:34:39

It's your descion, it's your body and your right to choose, i always think it is wrong when a woman aborts a baby that the father wanted to keep so i think its awful that he is asking that of you. My advice (i have had 2 abortions) both of them were a joint descion between me and the father neither of us felt ready for a baby and i felt it was the right thing to do however it is a difficult thing to go through and had i had the slightest doubt in my mind about wanting to keep either of the pregnancies i would not have gone through with it. An abortion can have a huge emotional impact on you if it's not something you are 100% sure about, my advice would be if you want the baby Which you have said you do don't let him pressure you into doing something you are likley to regret.

Coppernoddle Fri 01-Jul-11 10:36:18

Oh natasha, you must be feeling torn and stressed with all this! What a position to put you in! I do sympathise and have myself been in the same situation. I have had a termination also which was not my choice, neither did I want to do it, but due to a arse hole of a boyfriend years ago he frog marched me to the clinic and waited till I went in, then went off to buy himself a tele! Later that day found out he'd got someone on the side! I was devastated as thought we would work through it together, but he had other plans! I'm now married for 7 years and have two dd and ds on the way, I alway think about the little one as I was 12 weeks. Having had children and the joy they bring to my life who are the b all and end all, think how could I have been so stupid!! The only good thing that came out of this is that I now have no ties to this person ever. But you on the other hand do, and loving your children is what you do best! It's completely your decision, and to be honest, when you go for that interview pre op, if your not definite, they wouldn't perform the op! I'm with you all the way, whatever you decide! We'll be here for you to support you. It might be worth sitting down and speaking to someone about your options if dh leaves and where it leaves you. Can you look after your family, get some advice quickly, if you were to terminate, you don't want to go on to far with the pregnancy. If I was you, I would keep it! I could never go through that again, and if your not 100%, there will be a lot of detrimental effects on you, your relationship with your children, husband and in your own head! Especially now your children know, sounds like they would be a very big help to you too!! X x x x

pregnantmimi Sun 03-Jul-11 12:07:32

The citizen advice bureau will give you advice. You would be able to get housing benifit and some support if you are not working.

You must be feeling terrible how are things now?

You said you dont want a abortion and your eldest is excited thats good your not being pushed into one.

Be strong Im sure you will meet someone else or even things may sort themself out with your husband in the future but for now look after yourself and kids.

Im sure if you made the step to move out and move on he would be back and very sorry for what he said.xxxx

curleywurley2 Sun 03-Jul-11 13:53:24

Hey huni please dont rush into doing anything!!! Im am in your situation (take a look at the relationship page and look for the thread pregnant and alone).
I found out i was pregnant with baby number 2 on mothers day and even though we were trying for a baby, he reacted badly and insisted I have an abortion.
I was in total shock and cryed all day (some mothers day that was) but I knew I could never have an abortion and I knew if I did I would blame my husband for the rest of my days and it would result in us splitting up,so I stuck to my guns and now Im 19weeks pregnant.
Since Ive stuck to my guns my husband has become distant and no longer bothers with me, which has resulted in us living seperatly.
I know its hard but if its truely what you want then you have to be strong and stand up for yourself and your unborn baby.
Im now having to go to the job center to enquire about my benefits and entitlements because I only work 13 hours a week but I have gone into this knowing that its going to be hard in every way but if its what you want then go for it huni, get support from friends and family and keep you chin up and stay srong!!! Good luck xxx

NorthLondonDoulas Sun 03-Jul-11 13:53:29

oh hun, what a horrible situation... i too am pregnant with baby number 5 (was on the pill so was unplanned) it has been a real medical rollercoaster nightmare and my hubby doesn't want the baby either but i do, so im still not 100% how things will pan out either. It is especially awful for you that the two of you are in the process of splitting up - but if you are, then you have to make sure you are happy with what ever decision you come to as it will be you looking after everyone. Please try to be as strong as you can and take some more time to think things through a bit more first. I think its great that your daughter is so positive for you she sounds like a real gem. Good luck, i wish you all the best.x

aliceliddell Sun 03-Jul-11 14:00:01

Does your husband know how you got pregnant? If he did not want a pregnancy, he should have used condoms or got the snip. Hope you get some help and support. (and a new husband?)

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