Getting an early scan JUST so I can tell people?

[mistressploppy]

Is this daft? I've got a hen weekend to go on and it's a week before my 12wk scan. It's going to be so hard to explain the not drinking etc.

I'm thinking about the possibility of paying for a non-NHS scan, so I can tell them with a little more confidence. Am I being daft? Is this a huge waste of money? Should I just tell them anyway? Should I grow a pair and try and make my own decisions???

[Scaredycat3000]

The reason people traditionally wait until after 12 weeks is due to the lowered risk of a MC. The NHS scan is a medical scan to check that the baby is developing correctly. Personally I like to wait as I don't like the idea of having to tell people the pregnancy is not as expected. So as a private scan, I'm guessing would only show you that you are pregnant, same as POAS, I don't really see what you would gain from paying for an early scan IYSWIM. At 11 weeks, if you're happy to tell people, I'd just tell them anyway.

[Millie26]

I'm doing the exact same thing just for my own peace of mind really. We're going somewhere where lots of friends we haven't seen for ages will be and I will be 11 weeks.

I'm paying £95. I just really want to be able to know there is a heartbeat, that it's in the right place (previous ectopic scare) and whether it's twins :)

Your '12 week' scan can be at 11 weeks anyway as dates can be a bit off can't they so I'd say go for it! xxx

[silverangel]

I had an early scan for reassurance for myself after previous mmc, but still didn't anyone apart from mum and sister. Unfortunatley, a successful early scan doesn't mean that things still won't go wrong before 12 week scan.

If I was going on a hen do, I would tell people - I like a drink, for me to go on a hen do and not drink, I might as well have a big flashing sign on my forehead saying PREGNANT!

[patagonia09]

Alternatively you could tell them you had a really bad infection / tonsilitis / bout of cystitis and the doctor gave you really strong antibiotics which you're absolutely forbidden to take alcohol with. You could complete the pretence by letting them see you take the antibiotics - which would of course be your folic acid tablets in a different container!
Up to you of course, but don't forget it's the hen lady who's supposed to be the centre of attention - don't want to steal her thunder, right?

[nickelbabe]

are yo ukeeping it a secret, or do you just feel like a fraud saying it without proof?
I wouldn't advise getting an early scan for the reasn that scaredy mentioned - it's to do with miscarriage risk rather than proof of pregnancy.

I didn't keep my pregnancy a secret, and just told people as and when.
If you don't mind them knowing, then just tell them. :)

[H007]

We paid for an early scan as I really wanted to find out exactly how pregnant I was. Personally it was worth every penny! Found out I was 8 weeks, knew that everything was as expected, saw a little heartbeat and knew they was only one. Plus got to ask the sonographer 100's of questions and went away with loads of photos. From this experience I had the confidence to tell the people I worked with as I was really struggling with coping in the first trimester.

[mistressploppy]

Thanks everyone. I think I'll save my money and just tell them. It's my 2nd one so not too 'thunderous' (good point though, Patagonia) but they're my friends and if something awful did happen, it wouldn't be the end of the world to have to explain.

Another dilemma solved by the power of MN

[Catsycat]

I was told by the nurse at the EPAU that if you have a scan that shows a heartbeat, you have 90% chance of going on to have a healthy baby, whether the scan was before 12 weeks or not - I'm assuming she was correct. Our area do the "12 week" scan between 10-12 weeks now anyway.

Personally, I would say to tell people if you feel comfortable doing so, as nickelbabe says. I have done this each time - just told a few people close to me, and people that needed to know (e.g. personal trainer, hairdresser to check colour was OK to use, etc).

If you can afford the scan and would like one, I don't see any harm in having one. If it means you can't afford other stuff you really need, then no maybe it isn't the right thing to do.

If, alternatively, you want to keep it to yourself until later from personal preference, then it is your own business and no-one elses. I have spent my life as a non-drinker and yes people do seem to expect you to justify yourself for what is a personal choice! Make an excuse as Patagonia suggests above, if you don't want them to guess.

Other friends of mine have waited until having screening for Downs before telling, which made it later than 12 weeks. My best friend, who I've known for 32 years, didn't tell me till 16 weeks, as she had previously had a mc.

The 12 week thing is not the law, although it can feel like it, just do what feels right for you and ignore everyone else! :)

[mistressploppy]

Thank you for that post, Catsy, some very good points there too. Too right about the 'law' of 12wks!

[nickelbabe]

course, i ended up telling a couple of bitchy customers, because I was lying down on the floor because I felt sick as shit, and this random woman came in and snottily said "oh! having a lie-down are we?"
"yes, I replied, I'm pregnant and feel sick".

[mumblebum]

If you're comfortable with people knowing if things go wrong there's absolutely no reason not to tell them. Personally I had a private early scan and did find it reassuring.

[Catsycat]

Love your post nickelbabe. Can just imagine wanting to do this!!!! :)

[PoppysMom]

Erm, the risk of miscarriage goes down signifficantly once a heartbeat is seen at 6 weeks. Statistics below.

Almost 20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, with the majority occurring during the first 12 weeks.
There is a 75% chance of miscarriage in weeks 1-2 of pregnancy, when you do not know you are pregnant.
There is a 10% chance of miscarriage in weeks 3-6 and this number drops to 5% during weeks 6-12.

I had an early scan at 7 weeks and there was a strong HB. Obviously no guarantee, but it was very reassuring and I felt much more at ease.

The early scan will still check that baby is ddeveloping correctly for the stage you are at.

I felt very reassured by my scan and loved taking a peek at my baby.

I'd say go for it if you want to. The risk of miscarriage after baby was ok at 11 weeks is so low!