Not sure whether I should have this thread on here or somewhere else, but here it goes.
Several, well meaning, family members are very pro us getting in a maternity nurse (either day or night) for after the bambino is born. Me, I'm just plain confused and unsure. Many of my girlfriends have said that if they hadn't of had support from mothers they would have done it.
My Mum has been lined up to come and stay for a short while after the baby is born, but she has balance problems so can't really do more than hold the baby whilst she is sitting down, or keep an eye when I am in the shower or having a nap. Part of me thinks that that should be enough and that DH and I need to figure everything else out for ourselves.
I'm just confused and I wondered if any of you have had experience of maternity nurses, good and bad. And what would you do?
Why do they think you need a maternity nurse? I've never heard of anyone in RL needing one at all! I didn't have anyone to come and 'mind' the baby whilst I had a shower, made my lunch or went for a wee. DD was perfectly fine in her moses basket for five minutes (if a bit noisy!).
If you have the money to spend, I'd line up a cleaner and have meals delivered, send out your ironing etc - looking after the baby is the nice bit, do that yourself.
Are you going to breastfeed? If so then a maternity nurse probably isn't much use as they would have to wake you up every time the baby wants a feed in the night anyway. They're more useful if you bottlefeed and the nurse and baby can sleep together in another room and not bother you. However, I loved feeding my newborn in the night! I had him either in my bed or a bedside cot, and he fed a lot at night at first - every couple of hours.
I'd have found someone living in my house 24/6 very intrusive I think. The other thing maternity nurses will do is get the baby into a routine, but if you breastfeed you need to feed on demand for at least the first month to get your milk supply established.
How about a post-natal doula instead? They will look after you as well as the baby, help you with breastfeeding, hold the baby while you nap or shower, and will only be around for a few hours a day. Much more like the traditional "mum" role.
I agree 100% with Rita. Plenty of people cope just fine - both our sets of parents live over 300 miles away and although a pain in some ways, it also has it's advantages - you can make your own mistakes!
I never once wished we had someone in to help with the baby - although we did start to get a cleaner - and I think having someone else in the house would have driven me mad. Although if you have a massive house that wouldn't be the same issue I suppose!
My biggest advice on everything to do with children is to follow your own instinct. By all means listen to what people say, but if you think you can manage, them save your money!!