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Did your DP/DH change when baby arrived?

(5 Posts)
Newmummytobe79 Fri 24-Jun-11 14:33:38

My DH and I used to spend our weekends usually with a good many alcoholic drinks in us but how times have changed!

It was a struggle at first but now he drinks and I don’t. Most of the time it truly doesn’t bother me but he does ‘pop’ for a pint after work once a week – which can stem from 1 pint up to about 5 (1 when he knows I’ll be home from work on time, 5 if I’ve gone shopping or to see my parents). He spends his weekends with me – either out with friends or we watch films/tv together (he drinks out and at home) so I don’t really mind him going as it’s not like he’s clubbing at the weekends and he’s usually home by 8pm.

He does have the odd night out with the lads too (as I do with the girls) but I just don’t know how I’ll feel about the pub night when baby arrives. I joke (ish!) about all the night out passes I’m clocking up whilst being pregnant – and if I do ever get annoyed with him drinking I can whole heartedly admit it’s because I’m jealous! (admit to me – not him!)

So … how did your DP/DH act when baby arrived? Did his life stay the same?

We’re going to struggle more financially when baby arrives as I only get SMP so the last thing I’ll want him doing is spending our money in the pub – but at the same time I don’t want to become a nag!

Thoughts?

Tinkerisdead Fri 24-Jun-11 14:39:58

This was exactly like me and DH. His social life was much more hectic than mine with golf at weekends, and playing in the darts team twice a week. On the inbetween nights he used to go out for a drink.

DD is now 2.5 and he plays darts one sometimes twice a week, thats it. For the first 1.5 years he carried on playing golf and that was the hardest bit to stick because it was around 8 hours on a saturday and so I was a SAHM with a partner home only on Sundays. I didnt ask him to stop golf as I knew it was part of who he is etc. He hit hard times and he had to quit golf and then quickly realised how much nicer family weekends were and he hasnt been back, only to play the odd game, He still plays darts one evening a week and goes for the very occasional night out.

I think he's too tired as DD gets us up so early and he values family time a lot more now. But I admit I did a lot of moaning about it in the early days.

candr Fri 24-Jun-11 19:35:01

Newmommy maybe try talking to him about the fact he will not be able to drink as you get towards your due date as he will have to drive you so can't risk being over limit. It will give you a chance to see how he copes without his drink for a few weeks or if he can still enjoy the pub without drinking.

babyonbord Fri 24-Jun-11 21:16:19

I don't know my dh has the occasional boys night out but doesn't dissapear to the pub on a night and spends his weekend with me maybe talk to him about it he may not realise how you feel men aren't exactly perceptive lol

Nux Fri 24-Jun-11 23:53:01

My husband would still pop out for a quick pint after work once our DD had arrived and that would then turn into a few more - it drove me crazy as I couldn't eat until he got home and I would be so exhausted - having to wait a few more hours to have someone else there felt like too much. I told him about it several times but it didn't click until I left him alone with DD for a day. Once he had the experience, he understood much better why I got so pissed off with him for coming home late!

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