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Should I go for a job I really want when pregnant?

(12 Posts)
Partypopper Wed 22-Jun-11 12:11:45

Dilemma! Just been called up by a senior bod in my company who's put my name in the frame for a really interesting job. I haven't told them I'm up the duff yet (only 10 weeks).

Should I go for it? Slightly uncomfortable that if I got it, I'd then have to say, 'ooh, thanks and btw I'm taking 6 months off in Jan..' Should add that my company is not massively progressive. Women tend to do career or kids; I wouldn't mind pushing to be an exception (I have a pretty good track record), but equally I don't want them all saying 'and this is why we don't give women the good jobs!'. And a bit of me thinks it will actually be difficult to cover for me in a key role, so maybe it would be a bit selfish..

I suppose I could always have a grown up conversation with them if I got the job asking them to support me in taking it up and being a good example for others??

Any advice welcome!

nannyl Wed 22-Jun-11 12:22:50

i think you should just go for it!

Snuppeline Wed 22-Jun-11 12:25:40

Go for the job. Much better to have their antiquated attitudes put to shame by the good performance of a very capable woman such as yourself. If all women were to think they shouldn't go for jobs with responsibilities because they are either bearing children (or even of child bearing age) or are parents already we'd be back in the 50s by now.

I know a good few men who have pushed themselves forward for promotions in their companies and then gone for a new job in an even higher role six months later. Their original companies have put much into them and not got a lot back (the initial promotion was necessary for getting the new job/promotion). None of them thought they shouldn't go for a possible promotion just because they were unlikely to stay in the job for long. So why should you? In fact if you are planning to come back after a relatively short mat leave (6 months) then you have years ahead of you as a productive member of your company.

If I were you I'd apply for the role and if given the position I would work hard to prove myself until I was either a) showing or b) had 15 weeks left until due date (which is the latest you can leave telling employer) and then have the grown up conversations.

Good luck!

kri5ty Wed 22-Jun-11 12:42:48

go for it!!

There is no reason for feeling bad, you are obviously very good at your job to be head hunted grin take the benefits...

No reason to delay your career progressing... and i know it shouldn't happen in todays society, but you might not get the same chance once your a mummy, your employer may view a promotion in a different light x

Aloha31 Wed 22-Jun-11 12:44:43

I found my dream job when I was about ten weeks pregnant, and gave the job my all. As a result my employers, running their small business, have been 100% supportive and I have a great job to go back to. If you feel you can benefit the company by doing this new role well, then go for it! Enjoy it and let your boss know that you see it as a long term contribution, that you can set up structures which will run while you are on your leave, and don't let guilt affect your pregnancy or your new job!

Good luck, you haven't done anything wrong, and we all get here as the result of a pregnancy!

WhatTheWhat Wed 22-Jun-11 13:01:57

If you will be staying with the same employer then go for it! You have to seize the day on these things!
If the new role is with a different employer, then you might lose some maternity benefits and also your continuity of employment, so check whether it would be worth it.

Partypopper Wed 22-Jun-11 13:56:17

Really, really helpful comments!
Snuppeline, you are so right about other people taking up jobs and then moving on quickly without a second thought. At least I'd take up the job with a view to coming back!
And yes Kri5ty, better to do this now than try to come back from mat leave into a good job (this has never happened in my place!)
So, I'm going to shake off the pointless guilt and call back this afternoon saying I'm interested..
Cheers ladies xx

Wigeon Wed 22-Jun-11 14:02:22

Ask yourself: WWAMD - What Would A Man Do? Clearly he would go for the job. If men could get pregnant, that is. Your dilemma makes me think of the interesting research about how in some cases the pay gap between men and women is simply because men ask for pay rises (and therefore sometimes get them) and women don't.

(Disclaimer - obviously the gender pay gap is far more complicated than that alone etc etc)

If you were already in the job, would you decide not to TTC? No, and I can't see any disadvantage to the company in you taking the job now and having the baby shortly afterwards, and coming back to the same job, compared to being in the job for three years and taking a period of mat leave. Same cost / inconvenience to them, just at a different time.

Good luck in actually getting the job! smile

goodnightmoon Wed 22-Jun-11 14:48:18

i totally understand the dilemma. I didn't even know I was pregnant when I got approached about my dream job (internal move to a totally different division). I decided to go for it and was close to closing in on it at only around 8 weeks pregnant when there was a sudden hiring freeze. By the time the talks restarted I was about 20 weeks. It was heartbreaking, because I was still keen, but felt an obligation to let the people involved know I was pg (and by then I was more like 23-24 weeks so nearing a legal obligation). My email to some of the managers literally crossed wires with other people on the team telling me I was going to get the job offer that day. Suffice to say I didn't get the offer.
Now, i'm pregnant again and have just been approached about two more jobs (one internal, one external). It's such a quandry, but in this case I'm not very keen and will probably let work know soon anyway. Maybe I could take one of those jobs before going on leave, but I know I'm coming back so would just as soon deal with it all later.(in my case, I'm assuming the chance for what's on offer will come again - obviously depends on the situation. The first dream job never came back around.)

mamofK Wed 22-Jun-11 16:25:49

Feck them - go for it! You're only ten weeks gone which means they will get around 7 months good work from you before you leave (for a very short time when all is sadi and done). Also, the loyalty you'll have to them if they treat you well in the meantime will be invaluable to them in the long run - if they are shitey about it, take the job anyway, gain the invaluable experience, take your paid leave, come back to your job and then start looking for a new one! Also, ask yourself, would a man even have this thought?

PoppysMom Thu 23-Jun-11 06:26:13

I got a job offer internally to jump around 4 steps in February, which I took.
I had just moved within the company to open a new branch office and was offered this additional promotion.

Anyway, counting back now, I would have been 2 weeks pregnant when I accepted.

I knew DH and I were going to start TTC and I was prepared to give my best whilst I was in the role and I still do.

We managed to fall pregnant immediately, which is a bit faster than actually anticipated, but I don't regret it at all.

My employer is supportive and understanding, so all is well.

Good luck in getting the job smile

redexpat Fri 24-Jun-11 13:37:54

If they employ a man, they can't guarantee that he won't be off work with a bad back for 6 months. So yes go for it, but make sure you are a member of a union should it go tits up.

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