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Broody feelings! Help!

(5 Posts)
LauLauLemon Tue 21-Jun-11 16:05:30

I'm 6 months PP with DD2 and have DD1 who's turned 3 on Sunday. Ever since DD2 was born I've been broody for another and I'm constantly thinking about babies, being pregnant again and having a family of three.

I know at 6 months PP my hormones haven't gone back down properly so I've been blaming the feelings on those but I can't help but get the feeling that no matter what, baby number 3 will always be the itch I need to scratch.

I'm 23 so I have lots of time to decide on whether DC3 is a good idea and DH says that he wouldn't want another right now and we should focus on the girls we have and talk about it in a few years which is the sensible idea and the one I should focus on. The problem is, I can't seem to. I know what's logical and what isn't but it never seems like as good as an idea as having another baby.

I work from home, DH works full-time and we couldn't afford another baby comfortably while paying our rent, utility bills etc so I know it's not a great idea right now to think of another baby even in the next two years but how do I squash these ideas? I've tried the pro's and con's, talking it out, speaking to a counselor, speaking to friends and I've even resorted to Google.

Has anyone ever felt this way? I'm feeling pretty desperate. I don't know if this could be anything to do with it but I have BPD.

m1nn1em0u5e Tue 21-Jun-11 16:25:31

Hi, my children are 8 & 4, I have wanted another for some time, but the timing financially just wasn't ideal. I figured eventually that it would be better to wait until we had more money coming in & focus on enjoying my lovely ds's & appreciating how special they are!..There is nothing to say that you wont have another baby one day, just maybe now isnt ideal. I am now pregnant & I will enjoy baby 3 knowing that things aren't quite as stretched as they would have been a couple of years ago, plus my boys are older too & are really looking forward to it. Im 10 years older than you so I didn't want to leave it too much longer, but you have lots of time on your side!..My youngest starts school in September, & it will give me all day to spend with my new baby & have time for the boys when they come home..thats the plan anyway! Good Luck & im sure it will all work out just fine x

jenrendo Tue 21-Jun-11 16:28:46

I feel this way and have done for the past 3 months. My DS is 8 months old. I don't have time on my hands like you do, so I am in the process of persuading DH that he really would like another smile It took us so long to conceive DS I don't want to waste any time. I think if you're enjoying your baby it is only natural to think "hmmmm, what if"?!

LauLauLemon Tue 21-Jun-11 16:44:53

I think I'm very lucky to have time on my side. Realistically, I could finish university next year, save for the deposit on the house to get a mortgage and by the time we're financially sorted (or at least, almost financially sorted) in a decade I would still only be 33 and I could have time left to conceive.

The problem for me is that although it sounds great on paper and logically it makes much more sense to focus on our marriage, our careers and our gorgeous DD's, my heart keeps jumping every time a baby comes on the TV or walks beside us in the supermarket. I keep dreaming of being pregnant (which is ridiculous since I had an awful time on both pregnancies) and having a baby.

DH tells me to stop being silly and tells me that we have a baby. DD2 is only six months old so of course she's our baby and I dote on her. I thought once DD2 was born our family would be complete considering DH has a son from a previous relationship and who stays with us three days a week but it feels like a hole needs to be filled.

Thank you for your responses. It's great to know there are other people out there who feel or felt the way I do and it's not all in my head.

I'm definitely not going to get pregnant any time soon because it's not financially viable and it wouldn't be fair on the unborn child or our DD's but knowing the option is there in the future is a comfort.

m1nn1em0u5e Tue 21-Jun-11 18:51:51

I had awful pregnancies too, & this one is tough with hyperemesis, but mother nature seems to make us forget how tough it is!..I used to look at pregnant ladies & envy their bumps, the fact they were buying baby clothes etc...but now im pregnant & having a rough time, the sight of a pregnant woman fills me with fear!....My husband used to say never say never when I used to try & discuss another baby with him & one day he just changed his mind, which then sent me doubting whether another child would upset the family balance!....I guess im terrible at making decisions!....

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