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dh wants his mother to come to a 4d scan but I don't

(10 Posts)
Nanny01 Fri 17-Jun-11 11:45:01

As the subject says: dh wants his mother to come to a 4d scan but I don't. Were not best buddies. I am very conscious of my body I am overweight something she has reminded me of. MIL is never pleased about us having any of our kids we have 4 and this will be 5. My parents I don't have a problem with. Well they are my parents. Dh's mother. I don't really want to flop my belly out in front of her. My point is when you pay for a 4d scan you can have a dvd which she can play in her own room and any stupid remarks of which she has made loads ie how every baby looks like her side of the family. Am I just sensitive. I just can't see it as a bonding process with her as nothing has done that in 17 years of knowing her.

ShowOfHands Fri 17-Jun-11 11:48:38

Just explain patiently and reasonably to dh. You are pregnant, the baby is inside your body. It's not a spectator sport and you get to choose who is involved.

ifitsnotanarse Fri 17-Jun-11 11:50:24

Don't do it. It's your baby, your body. I would no way let my DH's mother come to any antenatal scans and I wouldn't ask my mother to come in order to avoid any argument IFYSWIM. May I ask why your MIL is not happy with your DC? She doesn't sound like a very nice grandmother/MIL/woman.

shellmc Fri 17-Jun-11 11:50:25

I agree with showofhands Like you say you get a dvd so shes not gonna miss out on anything!! x

zingzillachinchilla Fri 17-Jun-11 11:52:20

Why does your DH want her there? Did she attend any of your scans with your other DC - if not, why this one? Do you even know if MIL wants to come with you both? I really think you should be firm with DH on this - I don't think you are being sensitive.

EldritchCleavage Fri 17-Jun-11 11:58:16

I wouldn't have done it with my MIL, and I really quite liked her. Or my mother, and I'm genuinely very close to her. For a MIL who is unkind and unsupportive of your pregnancies, I think absolutely not.

WinterLover Fri 17-Jun-11 12:18:58

Agree with the others, dont do it. I get on fairly well with MIL but there is no way id have invited her along. We took DSD with us, shes 5 and loved seeing her new brother/sister on the screen.

The DVD we got was the whole scan, it was everything we saw on the screen with no edits. So when we showed everyone the DVD it was as if they had come with us.

KatyN Fri 17-Jun-11 14:20:29

I wouldn't want my own mother there, let along my MIL and I get along with both very well.
It is a time for my and my DH to see our child. Yes it is their grandchild but still..

I don't think you need to justify it about being unsure about your body image either.. you just don't have to have her there.


TransatlanticCityGirl Fri 17-Jun-11 16:55:09

I would explain that it's a medical appointment, therefore private, and you're not comfortable having anyone other than DH in the room. And buy the DVD.

Bartimaeus Fri 17-Jun-11 17:04:31

You could always say there's not enough space?
Last time I got a scan (not a 4D) the room was tiny and was cramped with me, the dr and DH. Another person just would not have been possible.

Have you asked DH why he wants her there? Is it just because she's asked?

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