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How am I going to get around this one?

(16 Posts)
canibe Thu 16-Jun-11 23:41:18

Please excuse the awful name change but I have been driving myself insane all day.

You see I am on day 33 and normally about 28 days.

I've got three children the youngest is 17mth and does not sleep. Dh and I hardly have sex due to being so wrecked most of the time.

I always mark a week out on the calendar which is roughly my ovulation date and we avoid it. It's always worked for us, he does not ejaculate in me blush we planned out three children so it's not been a bad method... up to now?

All today i've had yucky taste in mouth, I do not have my usual pmt or spots, and my temp is 37 normally I am 36.5. I am probably reading too much into this.

I mentioned my period had not come yesterday to my dh and he looked really worried and said that he would have a nervous break down and could not cope with another baby. he wanted to have the snip recently and i talked him out of it because it felt wrong. But I am happy with my three.

I know people will say if you did not want anymore then we should be more carefu and if my period comes I think I will encourage him to get the snip.

But if i am pregnant then it's going to really bring a lot of problems, my partner will not want the baby but knows that I could never abort a baby and if i did I would never get over it. So we would have the baby and be even more wrecked. We live in a two bed for a start, our car could not fit another baby, i am just starting work again.

But I do have all my baby things still so we would not have to buy anything, i breastfeed for the first year. But thats only the first year clear.

Could I cope, would I be a bad mum trying to manage four children. My oldest already feels a bit pushed out with the youngest always getting the attention.

I can not imagine telling dh, I reckon he would be so upset. It's our own fault, all my children were conceived with joy, I would want any baby i have to be wanted just as much as the others.

pinkyp Fri 17-Jun-11 00:13:38

Your thinking too much! First thing to do is find out if your pregnant. If you were then I imagine once the shock of it had settled you could sit down and work through how it would work. I have no doubt the baby would be loved just as much ( remember that feeling when you had your first and being worried if you'll love your next child as much - u just do). Hope everything works out well for you smile

CherryPie3 Fri 17-Jun-11 05:40:54

You need to do a test a find out one way or the other - all that thinking you're doing will drive you crazy smile

canibe Fri 17-Jun-11 08:38:37

My dh loves babies and i know he would love the baby when he saw him or her. i have terrible pregnancy sicnkess and he does not like me being pregnant with all the moaning and extra work it causes him.

Well still no period so i am going to buy a test today.

CherryPie3 Fri 17-Jun-11 12:25:30

Good luck, I hope the result is a happy one smile

PaperView Fri 17-Jun-11 12:31:23

There is no need to think of those things until you know for sure youa re pregnant or not.

glitternanny Fri 17-Jun-11 13:38:04

Good luck, fingers crossed u get the result u want.

canibe Fri 17-Jun-11 17:26:38

Well just as I was about to leave to get test my period came so now I do not have to worry.

I would not say its good news because a baby would always be good news to me! But I am glad my period came because it would have been very difficult for us right now.

Right onto some serious contraception!!!

Cherrypie, because I planned all my other babies and when I say plan I mean I knew my temp etc everything. Fertility really was my friend! smile

My temp only goes to 37 when pregnant or ill so I really thought I was. Especially with this horrible taste i've had in mouth for days which I also only get when pregnant and feeling light headed and sicky. So maybe I am just run down.

Thanks everyone.

Right very large glass of wine with dinner tonight!

PaperView Fri 17-Jun-11 17:45:14

Glad you got the outcome you wanted smile

CherryPie3 Fri 17-Jun-11 17:50:56

Aww I'm glad you're ok with the 'result'. Have been checking every hour for your update grin

canibe Fri 17-Jun-11 18:46:04

Thank you, I could just see the disapproving looks from both of our parents if we told them we were having another baby! We have moaned none stop for the last year about how exhausted we are and money etc...


I need to find a good contraceptive, tried coil and hated it. Condoms I need to try again, i just have bad memories of them. Pill does not agree with me and I dont like the idea of taking something.

The snip is just too final for me and I am not ready to except I will never have another child. I am happy with our three children but just not ready for him to do it yet.


xkatyx Fri 17-Jun-11 18:56:27

That's the same situation we were in too, me dh avoid ovulation etc and have 3 lovely children youngest is now 5 months old.

My dh wanted to have the snip as contraceptive is a nightmare with us I seam to fall pregnant on it all .. (Even after 1 accident and morning after pill)

Anyway cut long story short I'm pregnant again lol with twins ahhhhhh


Coppernoddle Fri 17-Jun-11 19:08:47

I suffer from the same things! Had miscarriage on coil, condoms are just not fun and we've had one split and the pill. Makes me very I'll! So I did natural family planning for 2 years and worked great, but seriously, you need to be doing it properly! Not just guess work. Check your mucus changes, temp every morning (which you are) and plot it on a graph. Not only that, if you have anti biotics the month before, this can mess up the time of the release of your egg for the following month. They say give it three months to make sure, also with an illness. But the way, this is why I am expecting number 3, unplanned, was happy with two! I was on antibiotics and no one told me that till after we found out the news sad but were over the moon and can't wait till baby arrives.
I suggest getting the snip asap! If having another would put you in that much mess, it's not worth the heartache.

canibe Mon 20-Jun-11 10:00:33

Twins? Wow congratulations! My nephews are twins and I know a few, having to share mummy seems to make them much more patient then singletons. Happy pregnancy to you both!

I used persona for well over a year and really got to know my cycle well but because I finished breast feeding this year I need to wait 6mths at least for my hormones to settle before I start again or he gets the snip which is probably waht he should do but that just really hurts to think THATS IT! I am not ready for it yet.

nunnie Mon 20-Jun-11 10:09:32

We wanted 3, had 2, then with DS we had sex with condom present at 11.20pm on the 26th of December 2010 when DS was 11 weeks old. I am now 26 weeks pregnant. Whilst we wanted 3 we were hoping to have a bit of a gap, and I was hoping to go long enough between pregnancies to feel well not pregnant.

Unplanned baby is very much wanted but still a shock.

Glad your AF has arrived though smile

toyenka Sat 16-Dec-17 12:45:48

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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