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babies due December... and what to do for christmas!!

(36 Posts)
kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 07:55:08

Hey Girlies

I know its a long way off, but im due 13th december, with my 1st... so guessing it may be late?? anyway.. My boyfriend said last night his dad has asked us to go out for a meal christmas day, he lives 35 minutes away, and i said that i didint really want to go out for a meal as im guessing i will still be really tired, and with a 2 week (or less) old baby it may be a bit too much, and i would like to have it at home so at least if i got tired i could go for a lie down.

he had a major strop, saying "another year i wont see my family at christmas" (as we were away last year) and didnt talk to me for over an hour... am i being unreasonable? I Dont mind if we invite his dad over, i would like our first christmas together as a family to be in our own home!

Sorry for rambling on... i think i need food haha

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 07:55:55

... also are you going to buy your newborns christmas pressies??

I feel awful but we are thinkin gof just keeping some teddies etc back and wrapping them up, and maybe a keepsake

Tinkerisdead Fri 10-Jun-11 08:03:29

My dd was born at the end of nov, she was four weeks old by Xmas day and both dh and I were exhausted. She wouldn't be put down, I was still uncomfortable after c section. No way could I have managed a family gathering after 2 weeks.

We actually went and bought all the components for Xmas dinner from m&s like ready meal roast spuds, one of those turkey joints in a foil tin thing. It was worst Xmas dinner but for us it was food of the kings. Dd spent entire meal in a sling with a napkin over her head in case I dropped gravy on her!

We then had a family party two days later and I resented it so much. Because we were out of the house everyone seemed to find it fair game to just take dd off me and pass her round and round for cuddles and I barely got her back. Your not being unreasonable 2 weeks post birth I'm sure Christmas will not be high on your priorities.

Iggly Fri 10-Jun-11 08:10:04

What about you have Xmas just for you, DH and baby then a few weeks in, say around mid Jan have a proper family celebration with your DH's dad? It's risky organising anything as you may well have had a difficult birth (although could be easy!) plus you'll never get back those early days with your first baby (I still look back wistfully at the first few weeks - we banned most visitors).

I can see your DH's point but you need to explain how you'll likely be feeling. Also agreeing to a later celebration will mean you've taken his feelings into account.

As for presents - er we got DS a token gift as he was 3 months but that was it!

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 08:20:12

I can see his point of view def... but when i tried to explain i think i will be too tired still, he just replied "stop being so negative, wait and see near the time how you feel", but my argument is a meal out, will need to be booked in advance! I may suggest him having his dad around, and Dh cooking, which would be a m&s ready made spuds and an iceland turkey crown! But i know it will turn in to his dad, grandparents, sister, my sister and then in the afternoon my dad will prob come around... im not bothered about it being busy at the house, as i can always take myself upstiars with baby if it all gets too much/?

Grohlsgirl Fri 10-Jun-11 08:38:07

Hate to say it but there's also the chance that LO will be overdue and you could still be in hospital anyway! I'm due on the 12th so been through the same conversation, we've agreed to stay home with (direct) family visiting later in the day for a couple of hours. I'm anticipating being absolutely shattered in those first couple of weeks, from what I've read/heard this isn't being negative, it's just the way it is after giving birth!

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 08:41:45

Love the name Grohlsgirl! are you seeing them this year??

I know i will prob be late, and there is a good chance i will need a section too... i dont really want everyone around for dinner, but i guess its a compromise. Im hoping his dad will realise to be honest and just offer to come after the meal! And if they do come for luch, well it will be dh doing the cooking so i cant moan hehe

Grohlsgirl Fri 10-Jun-11 08:55:32

I think it's a fair compromise, i've already got my other half slaving in the kitchen most nights so why change it just for Christmas?!
We're not buying prezzies for LO this year, mainly because grandparents will buy the whole of mamas n papas so there will be nothing left!

And yeah i'm going to see foos in july, right excited! Xx

ElleEW34 Fri 10-Jun-11 09:35:10

My EDD is the 27th Dec so in the same predicament. Havent shared our baby news yet as scan not until Monday. So I have all this still to come.

At the end of the day though, it's not every year you'll have just given birth or be about to if you are late, so this is quite an exceptional time. Treating it/you like it's just any other Xmas is a bit unfair. I think it would be fair to let you choose this year and your other half gets his choice next year - and for everyone to be prepared that things are very likely to change at the last minute given that it's such an unpredictable time.

Good luck, I'm sure it will all work out. Why is Xmas such a stressful time, so much pressure!

donotunderstand Fri 10-Jun-11 09:37:16

Hi Kir5ty,

I am in a similar dilemma but due on Dec 1st with my second. I had a fairly good birth with DD but took time to recover. I am worried about Christmas as supposed to be seeing my parents who live 90 miles away and my mum's too unwell to come to us.

it is a tough one but people have to understand Christmas may be a little different this year as we can't say exactly when our babies will arrive or how the birth with be.

My husband is trying to encourage a stress free one at home with DD and baby and I know he's right but am still worrying about not seeing family.

Guess we'll all have to make decisions nearer the time!

As for presents, DD was 4 months old for her first Christmas, we didn't buy her anything as I couldn't see the point of wrapping something I would then un wrap, instead we put some money in her child trust fund.

Hope this helps!

How is your pregnancy been so far?

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 09:51:40

hmm well i have sent an email explaining (as i get too tongue tied these days and cant remember what i am ment to be saying haha) will see what he says back!

Ooo im jeaous Grohlsgirl!! have fun!! wink

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 09:55:22

thanks again girls :-) hmmm why cant men see it from our point of view haha

donotunderstand it has been great so far, i had suspected ectopic at first, but it wasnt thank god, i have been very lucky, no ms, no sore boobs nothing :-) well other thanbeing really tired and achey, but i have ME, so im used to that anyway hehe

i think if he does invite his dad over, his dad may decline as i he understands, he also said to him dont worry if he couldnt come for the christmas meal!


kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 09:56:41

and as for the pressies im so glad you are all on the same wave length! I felt like i was being a bad mummy to be! I may just get a keepsake like one of those "my 1st christmas bauble" and maybe a teddy just to pose with for photos so it look slike we bought somethig lol

mopsytop Fri 10-Jun-11 10:01:23

hi kri5ty this is your first isn't it? I guess your partner does not realise yet how much work a newborn is - come Christmas Day he would probably be thanking you for not arranging to go out! I think he is being a little unreasonable myself, but I am presuming it stems from just not realising how wrecked you will both be - aside from which, taking a newborn to a restaurant may well turn out to be very stressful.

I have decided we are having Christmas on our own, no family or in laws. Was supposed to go home (we spend alternate years at alternate parents) but I can't because not sure if baby would come early/late and my family is in Ireland! I guess your partner was just disappointed. But if I were you I'd stick to my guns, no meal out and no family around - why give yourself the stress?

Grohlsgirl Fri 10-Jun-11 10:05:41

Oh god, have visions of baby photos with little ones dressed in novelty romper suits - OH's mum will probably dress it up as a christmas pudding or similar!

mopsytop Fri 10-Jun-11 10:16:40

p.s. no way I am buying a Christmas present for the newborn! Everything it owns will already be new. And it won't know the difference!

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 11:01:29

Yup mopsy 1st one smile Hurrah! he replied to my email saying he was being childish and didnt think how i would be feeling.... and he is going to ask his dad

but he is still on about visiting all the rest of his family on christmas day, so i gently suggested we visit on boxing day instead so we can enjoy the day muhahaha

haha my thinkings exactly... they wont know they didnt get a pressy, will just have wrapping paper around the house so to visitors it looks like we did lol

Xiaoxiong Fri 10-Jun-11 11:07:35

I'm due 3rd Dec and my whole family have announced they will be flying in from around the world. We do meet up like this for Christmas/New Year's anyway in various countries, so what I have suggested is that they all club together and rent a large house nearby and we will show up for as much or as little of the Christmas festivities as we feel able.

I'm actually quite looking forward to having family nearby for Christmas but that I don't have to do anything - last year we had DH's family to ours for Christmas and it was a lot of work (and washing up) though loads of fun.

CarolineLou Fri 10-Jun-11 11:09:40

I'm due 5th of December, my partners parents live 4 hours away and mine live 2 hours away. Mine will come up for the birth and maybe come to us Xmas Eve. Not sure about his. Plans havent really been made be I certanitly wont be going ANYWHERE!! And yes I'll be buying a few bits for the baby for Christmas and now I'm crying cos I'm such a Christmas lover and can't believe I'll have a baby (my first) this year! I had a bauble as one of my gifts on my first Chritmas and my parents still have it so maybre something like Kir5ty said a keepsake x

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 11:10:28

Tyelperion that will be lovely! seeing all your family smile and that is a great idea!

We are just going to use ready to roast potatos etc, and try and do the veg the day before a re heat, and just get a large crown... it wont be the nicest dinner but it will have to do haha

and i shall play the 'i need a lie down' card when the washing up needs doing lol

kri5ty Fri 10-Jun-11 11:12:50

aww CarolineLou big hugs, imt he opposite, hate christmas, but this year i am looking foreard to it, and have turned all mushy!! Yes i like the idea of a bauble, i have seen some nice ones online that are engraved - cue visions of christmases to come letting bump but its bauble somewhere on the tree!

mopsytop Fri 10-Jun-11 11:25:44

CarolineLou having just said I wouldn't buy anything for the baby, now I am thinking a lovely Christmas decoration is a wonderful idea and I am definitely going to do that! There are lots of decorations on my parent's tree that have a lovely little history and it made it so much fun decorating the tree when we were little.

I wouldn't mind my family being around, as there are loads of us and we usually all pitch ink, but our house is teeny tiny so it would be way too stressful. Might go for a visit in the January though and have a 'late' Christmas dinner with everyone. I think we won't bother with the traditional Christmas dinner though if just two of us. I don't actually much like turkey anyway. Isn't it exciting thinking that (hopefully) by Christmas we will have our little beans here! Unless I go overdue, I am hoping I take after my Mum and go a bit early instead - my sister was the same so fingers crossed!

CarolineLou Fri 10-Jun-11 11:25:47

Yes mine was engraved, it will be lovely for you I'm a nursery manager so maybe thats why I love it so much, I always get excited and making childen believe the magic makes you believe its amazing. Hope you sort out things and he realises you'll need rest, MEN! x

mopsytop Fri 10-Jun-11 11:25:59

in not ink!!!

thegingerone Fri 10-Jun-11 11:29:12

For the record we both ds1 a few little things for his first Xmas at 3 months. (Cue lots of photos of a puzzled baby with things held against his face) Ds2 was DUE on Xmas day so we bought a teething rattle (from Santa) and the little monkey turned up a week late. So pressies from Santa sat under tree for 10 days then 3 yr old opened it on his brother's behalf(Glad we did this one but it was for ds1 sake not baby's or even ours this time!) Dc3 is due Nov so gain will prob receive a (very) little somrthing from Santa.

Sorry to be negative OP but a due date of 13th Dec could mean your Xmas dinner is that post labour tea and toast you get. Oooh. How exciting!!!

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