losing a baby at 13 weeks, pregnant again and worried

[emzs30]

would really like to talk to people, feel really alone, find it hard talking to people i know about this subject.

[emzs30]

this is my 3rd pregnancy, i went for my 3 months scan with my second and no heartbeat, had been trying for 2 years, now i am 7 weeks pregnant, and it happening again is all i can think about day and nite, dnt feel as sick as i did, so is this happening again, nobody listioned to me the last time and my fears came true,

[drivingmisscrazy]

emzs30 didn't want you to go unanswered - you sound very scared. First, congratulations! Second, this is not that pregnancy - I am so sorry about the baby you lost. Third, can you go for an early scan? We did this with both pregnancies after a mmc at 10 weeks and it really did help.

Good luck, and take care.

[hester]

Hi emzs30, oh I do feel for you. I think miscarriage really destroys your confidence in your own body, staining any future pregnancy with terrible fear and foreboding. It did to me, anyway.

I'm not clear whether you've had one mc or two? Either way, you must know that your chances of carrying a successful pregnancy are very high. I do understand how easy it is to get obsessive about every little symptom, so full sympathies on the nausea going up and down (I had my pregnancy test sticks suddenly coming up negative, and 10 weeks of bleeding - but I still carried the pregnancy to term).

It is really, really tough, and you are going to feel like a crazy woman for a while yet. But keep posting: we'll be here to help see you through.

xx

[emzs30]

thank you, yer i really am scared,wish i wasnt, i spoke to my doctor and apparentlly, they dnt keep at close eye on u till u have had ur 3rd mmc, but i am seeing my midwife tomorrow so i will ask, thank u again 4 the advise and take care 2 xx

[emzs30]

thank u,hester, it was my first mc, i have a little boy who is 11, but would have been my first child with my husband that we lost, i have been trying to join something like this for ages, and thank u for making me feel a little better, feel like i am going mad, i know if its going to happen it will, my son had slap cheak when i was pregnant and wonder if thats why it happened x

[hester]

Don't drive yourself crazy trying to work out why it happened: miscarriage just happens, it's really common, most of the time it's just a horrible mystery.

Nobody can give you guarantees, but one miscarriage doesn't mean you at risk of another - it just messes with your head. I went through the first 12 weeks of my post-mc pregnancy completely crazed with fear. I do think you should ask the midwife about the possibility of having a scan at your nearest early pregnancy unit - that can be really reassuring.

Give your son an extra tight hug and remind yourself that your body knows how to make beautiful babies.

[emzs30]

yer ur totally right and sorry i forgot to say sorry about the mc u had 2, thanks for the advise, i will speak to my midwife tomorrow, and i will, even tho he tells me hes getting to big for hugs, i tell him never haha.

[hester]

OH, my mc was years ago now. I got pregnant again 10 weeks later, had a beautiful baby girl, and now have another. So the pain has healed but I will never forget how intense it was at the time - I was in AGONY.

I'm going to get an early night, emzs30, but will check back tomorrow. Do come back and let me know you're ok - or just have a crazy rant at me if you want, that's ok too Oh, and good luck with the midwife.

[emzs30]

haha ok, i defo will come bk, sleep well,and thanks again, love to the kids.

[InMyPrime]

Sorry to hear about your MC. It's tough being pregnant again after a miscarriage, especially a missed miscarriage as it feels as though your body played a horrible trick on you last time so what's to stop it happening again?

I had an MMC at 12 weeks last year (August) and got pregnant again in January. I'm now almost 24 weeks pregnant and the whole pregnancy has been fraught with anxiety for me too so I know how you feel. It's really, really, hard. One thing you should do is go for early scans as it is so reassuring to hear the heartbeat and know things are OK. If you've had a previous MC, you should be entitled to an early scan if you ask your midwife. There's no real answer to managing the fear, unfortunately. (Almost) six months in and I'm still petrified! Just yesterday, the baby was a bit quieter than usual in the morning and I was crying again, getting upset and paranoid. Luckily I had my midwife appointment later that day and when she checked for the heartbeat, it was pumping away as strong as ever so I was so relieved . The fear doesn't ever go away, I suppose, but if you can try to keep in touch with the medics and get some early scans, it's manageable.

Good luck with your pregnancy - you can still have a good outcome after an MC and in fact most women who have previously miscarried do go on to have a good outcome so I hope we both do!

[emzs30]

thank u for ur advise, i had the mmc the end of feb, and got pregnant on my honeymoon may, so maybe its just still raw for me like it is for u, i will defo ask for a early scan, hearing ur story really helps, i have had nitemares every nite since i found out i was pregnant, me and my husband wnt talk about it, and my family is just making out i ant even pregnant because they dnt want to get excited again, so i feel pretty lonely at the mo, but like i said this has really helped thank u x and i am really happy its going well, do u know what ur having? x

[drivingmisscrazy]

emzs30 with the greatest of respect, I think you need to tell your family that you need their support and that they need to help you to be positive! Is your husband just scared? As all the people posting here can tell you, it's highly likely that this pregnancy is just fine (like Hester my DP was pregnant only a couple of months after the mmc and had a textbook pregnancy!). It is an anxious time, and it's hard to stay positive - that's why you need support. Hope you get your scan very soon.