I'm a drama queen more likely but would like peoples views

[busynewmumtobe]

in regards to this thread I am 34weeks pregnant and not the most confident person with the trust of the Nhs. I am talking myself round to a hospital birth but very little faith and need to know where I stand.

Well alil of my past with Nhs. Basically have no problem with needles until I got menijitus c injection stuck in my arm of final year of primary school yonkys ago. Obviously through this preg have had needles ie bloods and flu jab but obviously can't take the generally advice to look away as last time I did that it went horribly wrong and a nurse who's job is to give hundreds of injections. I thought nothing could go wrong. Worse of all I'm rhyus neg but waiting till baby's born to find out it's blood type as many countries only do the one injection after birth instead of the routine that the northeast uk do or adleast at my practice encourage 28 an 34 weeks jabs. Commission based probably like the flu jab introducing it to pregnant women last winter as the number of flu jabs were lower than normal and doctor surgeries can make an income on theses things.

Anyways the problem really occurs on the delivery. Ideally I am wanting a home birth as I don't want any pain relief other than gas and air possibly. Ideally wanted a pool birth however our hospital dont have one but mw are trained to do so :s. I feel that when the time comes i probably won't care Aslong as it's here and healthy. Partner is insisting that I have it there as if any thing went wrong with it "I'm in capable hands" omg! Now this is were I flip as previous scenario of a nurse who can't give injections properly is her main job. How can I have any faith in who ever delivers? I just would like to know, if I was to go into hospital and baby is healthy and ok. Can we leave asap as partner isn't allowed to stay with mother other night once babies delivered. Also I don't have faith staying in. Incase they try or take care of myself if their is alittle bleed etc. I believe strongly in grin an bare it in your own home Aslong as babies healthy. Could someone please put my mid at ease as discussing this with the partner isn't working and the care up northeast isn't that good after my friend went into hospital quiet Ill. Placed her on a drip Which she was allergic too and after reaction, took her off it as the drug nearly killed her when she was recovering placed her back on it.

I am a really stressed mother to be and I know it's not doing LO any good. Aslong as babies okay though is their any reason if they say I have to stay in until a doctor can say we can go if I could leave sooner?

[nunnie]

Can't really advice, as my experience has been ok so far. At my local hospital they say if born before 12pm and all is well, can go home same day, if born after 12 they advice overnight stay, I am sure you can discharge yourself they can't force you to stay. They advice here you wait for the paedratrician to give the baby the all clear before leaving, but again I presume they can't force that either.

[busynewmumtobe]

Thank you minds set alil at ease. I am probs a drama queen but I do have lil faith. I don't want to be selfish and Aslong a LO is okay then I think as long as had all clear would go asap

[fairy1978]

I had my first in a hospital and while I don't like hospitals, (not for any of the reasons you have stated but I just can't sleep and find all the machines and people rushing about a bit off putting) it was a very positive experience. I even had a retained placenta and had to go to theatre but was home the same day! I just asked if I could leave that day and they got a paediatrician to check LO out and I came home. I had my second and found it much more relaxing as wasn't so nervous about the machines etc. I am now 35+5 and planning my second homebirth.

It must be really difficult to relax with the experience you have had, but that was one nurse out of hundreds. If you are tense when you are in labour it would make for a more difficult labour. Could you speak to your midwife and tell her all of your worries? She might be supportive of a home birth and you could both talk to your partner together.

Hope everything works out for you

[KatyN]

This might not be helpful, but have you tried thinking the other way about the NHS? Try and get some positive stories about their care. I understand the needle getting stuck as a child must have been horrible and it's going to stay with you. But how many injections does a nurse give where nothing must go wrong? and also how often do you make a mistake in your job (thank goodness mine doesn't directly involve other people!)

Can you watch 'one born every minute' (makes my stomach turn) but that might aleviate some fears as there are loads of little ones born there under NHS care?

[busynewmumtobe]

Thanks ladies. Minds alittle more at ease. Fairy 1978, your soooo right. Spoke to mw. Very helpful. Sat down wrote a very detailed planned. I know plans dont go always how their planned but have been talked through alot of situations and have been asked on what would i like at tht point if a certain complication occured. Minds really at ease. Think i just have to go with the flow and was thinking home birth but she said when your in labour the hospitals asks you to show up in ante natal to make sure n send u hme and gas and air is on hor supply o maybe its jys easier if i stay there and have the help there, hopefully. If something went wrong. It wouldnt be a time thing. Not too long for your LO appearence now fairy1978! Let me know how it goes. Like i said im probs biggest drama queen ever. Probably the fact of not knowing what to expect.

Thanks for the advice katyn. Your right too! should give them a chance. One mistake in how many. Noones perfect and she probs has done hundreds. Im just the unlucky one lol. Lets hope all goes well

[CBear6]

When you say North East do you mean North East England? If so then there are midwife led units at the RVI and at North Tyneside General. Both units have pools and all care is done by midwives, I don't know if either one is any good for you.

North Tyneside is very homely and they only get 4-5 deliveries in a normal week so it's usually very quiet, you get 1-2-1 from the staff and they're very accommodating of birth plans/requests, they're the next best thing to a home birth. The only issue is that they have no medical staff on site so they transfer ladies to the RVI if they need extra monitoring or intervention in labour.

The RVI has a brand new MW led unit and there are doctors on site, if one was needed it's just a matter of moving to the other delivery ward. You can go home after six hours so long as everything is well too.

[NorthLondonDoulas]

As long as there are no foreseen complications with you or bubba there is no reason why you couldn't have a home birth if you wanted one if thats where you think you will be the most relaxed and at ease. Your local hospital would know that you were in labour and if anything did arise you can be transported to hospital quite quickly.

With regards to a hospital birth, not everyone is happy with the nhs system but you will have everything you need there if required. It really does depend on what time you deliver whether they will discharge you the same day, as you and baby have to be given the all clear by the duty Dr and pediatrician. It might be worth you and your hubby looking into the idea of a Doula (sounds like im too far away to be able to help, but im sure there are lots of good ones near you) Doulas can offer you the guidence, reassurance and support that you may me looking for and regardless of if you choose to have your baby at home or hospital it will be a reliable, friendly face that will stay with you throughout the whole experience as you may well have a change of midwifery staff depending on how long you are in labour for.

Good luck and i hope things work out as smooth as possibly for you and that you have a happy stress free labour.x

[MadYoungCatLady]

If you decide to go with a home birth, you do not need to go to ante natal at all! Google the NHS charter, it is one of your rights to have a home birth if you require.

I had hospital birth with DS1. Never again! I want to be in my own surroundings, with whatever I want to drink or eat, my DP with me the whole time without being sent home after baby is born, not being told to stop groaning (seriously this happened. I was about 2 hrs away from delivery by this point and was making kind of cow noises. Apparently I was just 'showig off'), not being frogmarched out of the bed and into a shower when the nurses decided it was time for me to poodle off now, not being dumped in a ward not having a clue about how to do bottles, whether I could go to the loo without wheeling the baby in the fishbowl along - I could go on forever.

Also, studies have shown it is just as safe, and maybe even safer, to have a home birth. How far are you from the hospital? If it would take a long time to get there in an emergency, maybe go with hospital. Mine is a 15 minute slow drive which is why DP has given his full support to a home birth.

Google some home birth stories, it might help you make an informed decision.

[PrincessScrumpy]

My hospital says a minimum of 6 hours stay after baby is born to make sure you are both healthy.

I would book a tour of your hospital - I had one today and got to ask lots of questions. Really got lots out of it and feel much happier about how it will be. It might help you to feel better. But if you want a homebirth then can you discuss it with dh and mw together? It might help to reassure him.