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FGS, I'm pregnant, not ill, just a rant

(18 Posts)
ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Mon 06-Jun-11 12:27:19

Am 23 weeks pregnant. Suffered with HG until 18weeks so I know how being ill feels. Now I am better and wanting to do things. Go shopping, do cleaning, bit of decorating.

Every single person says something along the lines of "are you sure you should be doing that?" "you shouldn't be carrying those bags" "you can't decorate in your condition"

I just want to yell STFU! Really! I know my own body, I can tell if something is too heavy or I can't do something so stop telling me I can't do things. angry

Rant over.

LearningFast Mon 06-Jun-11 12:40:49

LOL Coconuts, that must be really frustrating. It's lovely to feel physically better and more energetic in the 2nd trimester isn't it? Just try your best to ignore the annoying people if you can.

It's the inconsistencies of people's 'advice' and 'concern' which I find annoying - for instance it's in my pregnancy risk assessment at work that I am not allowed to wear heels at all, because we have a large winding stone staircase up to the office and they are worried about me falling down them. Yet the fact that the lift was broken for weeks and I was struggling up the stairs with a very heavy laptop case didn't seem to be a worry to anyone! They've repaired it now, after I had an uncharacteristic rant one day. Today I put my bag in the lift, and then ran up the stairs, which got me a well done comment from a nice colleague. smile

Luckily my DH is an angel, and knows that without some adventure and freedom in my life I'd go mad. We spent the weekend walking in the rolling hills of Leicestershire.

redexpat Mon 06-Jun-11 12:58:47

Wow learningfast! Excellent effort with the stairs!

My zumba students are very concerned about the effect of zumba on my bump. It's only one hour a week and I just can't wiggle my hips in quite the same way.

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Mon 06-Jun-11 13:15:01

Learningfast, indeed the concerns are often inconsistent. Sometimes I feel like playing the invalid just to see how they'd feel doing everything for me. But that would be very childish wink

benne81 Mon 06-Jun-11 13:18:40

I know, I was scolded by my friends for carrying a heavy bag home - I have to get my work documents, laptops and book home somehow!! Just because your pregnant doesn't mean that you automatically have a little man to carry everything for you (although that would be nice!)

ALovelyBunchOfCoconuts Mon 06-Jun-11 13:22:43

Benne, it would be nice! I bought some new cushions for our bedroom a couple of days ago. Cushions, remember, are pretty darn light. DH - "are you sure you can carry that bag" This is my second pregnancy as well, I don't rememeber this much concern with DC1.

And if anyone tries to touch my bump this week I'll flip!

SenoritaViva Mon 06-Jun-11 13:26:24

Are you sure you should be using your computer in your condition grin

MsChanandlerBong Mon 06-Jun-11 13:38:43

I feel the opposite... I have to keep reminding people I'm pregnant so perhaps that might be why I don't feel like standing at the top of the ladder painting the ceiling/carrying loads of shopping to the car/staying up til midnight/etc.

For me, this is the first time in my life I have had any limitations on what I can do physically (very lucky I know) so tbh being pregnant does feel a bit like being ill!!

The other advice I find confuzzling from people is them trying to convince me to eat/drink things that I have chosen to avoid due to being pregnant. The whole "well I ate liver stuffed with brie everyday during my pregnancy washed down with a bottle of vodka and my children were fine" thing. I feel like I am beginning to understand what vegetarians now go through on a day to day basis with peoples 'helpful advice'. smile

highheelsandequations Mon 06-Jun-11 13:39:45

Accompanied my class on a sponsored walk last week at 34 weeks. Was about to hit the next person that said "you're not going on the walk are you?" but managed to restrain myself. Was only 2 hours and not exactly a hike!!

At the same time, when I'm feeling exhausted I want people to tell me to sit down and put my feet up, they can't win smile

H007 Mon 06-Jun-11 13:45:11

MsChanandlerBong I am exactly the same as you! A little concern would be nice sometimes especially as in general I don't feel great most days!

Also you should try being vegetarian and pregnant the whole world and his dog has advice on how you should eat raw meat for all the wonderful iron which there's a cat in hells chance you can find in anything other than raw red meat haha

Scheherezadea Mon 06-Jun-11 13:56:47

I'm still riding horses, not jumping but still trotting/cantering/hacking out. Fed up of people saying "oooh you sure you should be doing that?" - even when I was 13 weeks people saying I shouldn't go near a horse! FGS, I've not fallen off in about 10 years, I'm not exactly going 3 day eventing, and I need SOMETHING to keep me sane since I'm not working.

Renaissance227 Mon 06-Jun-11 14:19:18

So you are back riding your horse then Scheherezadea? That's good. Have you started driving lessons yet? Feeling better about things now? x

princessdave Mon 06-Jun-11 15:49:12

tee hee this made me chuckle! I've been running for 2 and a half years now 5 times a week and at 27 + 1 am still clocking up maybe 10 miles a week if I'm lucky and not too tired. I managed to get to 12 + 5 without knowing I was pregnant and ran over 250 miles in that time... The first thing my Mum said when I told her I was pg was "so you'll stop running now" as if nurturing a baby undetected for almost 13 weeks whilst marathon training wasn't proof enough that I'm fit, healthy & should continue running, albeit at a much slower pace and reducing the mileage!

I'm sensible, if there are any pains at all I'll stop and walk, I take water and a mobile phone if I'm running alone and I've stopped trail running on DHs order as I'm quite clumsy and prone to going AOT. Plus my midwife and the health visitor were both happy for me to continue. Mum still worries of course but most others (not all it has to be said) are very supportive. It keeps me sane and as you say, we are not ill!

PrincessScrumpy Mon 06-Jun-11 17:00:22

I'd hand them the bags and say thanks for offering.

I'm pg with twins so am being very careful (still working), but with dd1 I carried on until 32w when I went into prem labour. After that the drs told me I wasn't to do housework, fine, we got a cleaner, then I pruned the garden. DH says I'm a rubbish patient.

Someone said "should you be doing that?" about me picking up dd1 who was crying. Maybe I shouldn't but she'd fallen over and was upset. I'm her mummy and she needed a cuddle and top get to the car.

thegingerone Mon 06-Jun-11 17:18:13

I swing from one side to the other. I get people at work doing the "should you be lifting that?" even light things, but where exactly is the person who's going to follow me around "doing things" for me?

Then my DH (who was having a stroppy day!) got stroppy because I didn't help him lift two big kids bikes out of the boot of his car. (In fairness I got them out when I got home, but I was having an apple at the time and I didn't think chain grease was one of my five a day) This is pg#3 for referance and I've been suffering ms so the novelty of this pg has run out for him!! Bless!

I'm trying to be sensible. Nothing too heavy. No stretching. Etc. I'm not allowed to lift a biro sometimes but when my strong arms are needed I'm "useful".

Since I became pregnant and before I knew, I've lifted wardrobes and huge wooden coffee tables on my own. Since finding out I'm pg, I've had to run up a hill to an A+E dept with a 5yr in my arms. What option do you have when your kid is injured??

mummytigger Mon 06-Jun-11 18:04:31

I've had this off my stepfather and it's driving me absolutely spare lol. I'm not allowed to stand on a low stool to paint the top of the ceiling, and yet when I'm slayed down with lack of sleep and a bitchin' headcold he tosses some flu tablets my way (that he KNOWS I can't take) and then asks me to help clean the kitchen and take out the rubbish. I'm like HANG ON A MINUTE HERE! The double-standards are driving me round the bend, and it's almost funny in a way.

I've had to give up running as well, because my bump was far too big for me to continue safely - would have more-than-likely fallen over and hurt myself/the baby. So I miss that, it was my 25 minutes of me-time that I had every day. Just kind of stuck in the house now, living on Mumsnet and an old Game Boy colour...

Scheherezadea Wed 08-Jun-11 11:31:54

Renaissance - My horse is still on long-term loan, but I'm riding a friends horse as often as we can get there. Feeling a lot better thank you! No income so can't afford driving lessons, but DP is teaching me. Trying to stay positive, now bump is bigger & can feel the baby moving has made me more positive about the whole thing. Drs have told me not to work, but not getting any benefits.

Thanks for remembering/caring!

PrincessScrumpy Wed 08-Jun-11 16:19:10

today I was asked "should you be carrying those?" - it was two cups of tea!

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