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Should I listen to people????

(23 Posts)
reenzeen Sat 04-Jun-11 20:29:37

I'm 36+2 and people are driving me mad telling me im going to go early- my mw said head was engaged from about about a wk ago, and acted a bit shocked as if she thought it was very early, and everyone I meet is telling me I have dropped, my aunt who's a mw said today that I look ready to go and baby fees like its in position and its very big and strong and won't want to stay in much longer!

The thing is I really don't want to get my hopes up as I could be in for a wait of 5 wks or more so I really don't want everyone saying these things as im soooooo bloody impatient and would love to be meeting our LO sooner rather than later butim starting to believe them and get really excited.

So just wondering what anyone else's experiences are, is it normal for head to engage at 35 wks and to have dropped now or should I get myself ready for the long sit??

conkertree Sat 04-Jun-11 20:41:06

Get ready for a long wait, and then if it does come sooner, its a nice surprise. Its so easy to set yourself up for disappointment if it does go over and you have been expecting an early delivery.

Both time the heads have been engaged at about 35/36 weeks and particularly with ds2 it felt like he had moved down etc as you describe. Ds1 was 6 days over and ds2 was 9 over. Drove me a bit crazy cause I was so convinced that second babies always come earlier.

Hope it doesnt drag on for you though.

BooyHoo Sat 04-Jun-11 20:44:53

look, nobody knows when you will 'go' people say all sorts of things based on fuck all actual experience.

you will have your baby when your body is ready. get excited because it will happen and whether that is in 1 week or 5 weeks it isn't that far away at all (i know it feels like it though smile) just enjoy whatever time you have left to prepare yourself physically and mentally. and relax. it will happen when it's teh right time.

LemoryMane Sat 04-Jun-11 20:46:16

My first baby was engaged at that stage but wasnt born until 42 weeks. Don't listen to a word of it. It's all guess work.

Eglu Sat 04-Jun-11 20:46:56

I would take no notice. If it is your first baby it is very usual for the baby to engage at about 36 weeks. My first certainly did. He was born at 39 weeks, but that is still a while for you.

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte Sun 05-Jun-11 05:39:10

Take no notice. If you are early it will then be a nice surprise.

DC2 has been engaged from 34 weeks, and I'm now almost 41 weeks and still waiting for him to emerge...

MrsVidic Sun 05-Jun-11 07:52:49

Saw my Mw this week- I'm 31 weeks who said the same. Fwiw I don't feel half as ready as last time and I'm sure I'm going to be a while yet (knowing my body)
Just see it as a positive that baby is in a good position and labour should hopefully ve straight forward

Hormoneoverload Sun 05-Jun-11 10:47:12

A lot of the things people say when you are pg are through wanting to have something to say. Very unlikely to have much to do with what will actually happen. Bit like everyone seems to have opinion on gender of baby. I was definitely carrying a boy...who is now my five year old dd.

grubbalo Sun 05-Jun-11 11:05:51

Take no notice! I am fairly petite (5ft6, size 8-10) and with both babies have looked huge. First DS was 5 days late weighing 9lb4, so second time around they were expecting another big baby. Midwife told me at 34 weeks that she would eat her hat if the baby wasn't here by the due date - in the end I went into labour (just) on my due date, and he arrived at 3am the day after. This time around I am yet again being told that I am massive and to expect an early baby, but by now am resigned to the fact it will just be on time (and if it is early, well that is a bonus).

Gauchitaconpanza Sun 05-Jun-11 11:13:59

DD was engaged since week 36 and she was 2 days late. I kept thinking she'd come any day and no! so I'd take no notice smile

reenzeen Sun 05-Jun-11 16:57:56

Thanks ladies, will get all thoughts of going early out of my head asap!!

grubbalo im the same height and dress size as u but have a really compact bump, it was more the midwives telling me its big as they can feel all the limbs etc really easy and can also feel it pushing against their hands and say it feels like a strong baby.

but they have almost always been wrong in guessing my friends baby's sizes before!!

nicolamumof3 Sun 05-Jun-11 17:02:52

ignore it all! babies come when they are ready, could be tonight could be end of next month. Just a waiting game now. im 34w myself and desperate to get this one out and get my body back tho!!

saoirse86 Sun 05-Jun-11 20:17:21

When I was pg everyone told me the baby would be early for many reasons (mostly because apparently I was huge and my bump was low). This was from about 5 months everyone was saying this. She was 2/5 engaged at 36 weeks.

She arrived on her due date with no signs of labour early on! grin

KateBC Sun 05-Jun-11 21:13:13

My DS was engaged from about 35 weeks, had a really good waddle going on! Everyone was telling me i'd be early and to prepare myself (including DH) etc, but was convinced i had ages and was going to go over, but went into labour at 38 weeks! Though i was on way into hospital with early signs of pre eclampsia, so this could have effected things

WiiUnfit Sun 05-Jun-11 21:26:47

My MW told me babies tend to engage 2-6 weeks before labour, so in a 40 week pregnancy - anywhere between 34 weeks & 38 weeks. 36+5 and baby hasn't yet, just hope I don't go overdue!

Smiler80 Mon 06-Jun-11 09:28:11

I'm 36 weeks too and have another antenatal appointment today - very curious to hear if / how much she is engaged as she was 1/5th engaged 2 weeks ago.

Does anyone know how long it takes a baby to go from 1/5th to fully engaged? And when people say "engaged", do they mean 5/5th or something else? Can't find this info anywhere!

Like you reenzeen I'll try and put any thoughts of an early birth out of my head though - don't want to play the waiting game on the sofa!

saoirse86 Mon 06-Jun-11 09:54:40

Smiler 1/5 engaged means they can feel 1/5 of the baby's head. So 5/5 is free and 0/5 is fully engaged. Most women wouldn't be 1/5 engaged until they're in labour or very near to being in labour. I wasn't 1/5 until I was at the pushing stage (partly because I still had my waters until then).

I'd make sure I had everything ready if I were you! wink

Smiler80 Mon 06-Jun-11 10:00:28

Thanks for your message saoirse. Very confusing terminology - I think they told me she was 4/5th palpable, 1/5th engaged (the midwife & student midwife had a bit of a discussion about it themselves!) Seems more likely if 1/5th means ready to give birth smile

reenzeen Mon 06-Jun-11 19:16:19

yeah thanks saiorse I actually thought it was the other way round, pity my mw never actually said how much I was engaged, and I didn't know enough to ask until I looked it up when I got home.

saoirse86 Tue 07-Jun-11 10:42:04

Smiler80 Well now I'm confused because I thought everyone used the same terminology. In your notes is it recorded as 4/5? Usually they will say 3/5 engaged when that means 3/5 free, 2/5 below the pelvic line. In your notes whatever is recorded is how much they can feel. Maybe they've started saying how much palpable to try and stop the confusion, but actually made it even more confusing! confused

spiderlight Tue 07-Jun-11 10:45:36

My son was born at 36+3, barely 24 hours after I'd been told by about three separate people that I had ages to go yet because I was still carrying so high. They come when they come - nobody can really tell.

Pussinflatboots Tue 07-Jun-11 11:01:19

Ignore. Three mws told me baby was ready and would definitely be early. She was a week late!

nunnie Tue 07-Jun-11 11:05:02

No one knows, the baby will come when it is ready.
Mine was head down early (number 2) but no one ever said engaged, and I went into labour at 36+3.
Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy.

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