Talk

Flip

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

DH can't make it to any of our antenatal sessions :(

9 replies

MotherPanda · 03/06/2011 18:36

I'm feeling really sad as my lovely DH won't be able to come to any of the 5 nct sessions i had booked for us or to the one nhs session that we get to go to at the hospital.

Now I have to go on my own - do people go on there own, or is that really odd?

I feel sad as he won't learn all the useful things he's meant to - and i'll have to relay things back to him (but probably won't be very good at it).

I also hate social situations, so he was meant to support me through that too.

Do i even bother going now? I worry that everyone else will have there partners with them and i'll be all on my own.

He's recently got a new job - which of course i'm thrilled about, but i wish he could come to just one of the sessions with me.... :(

OP posts:

Report

Cyclebump · 03/06/2011 18:43

I went to my all-day NHS antenatal class alone. There was one other person who did as well. I was nervous and embarrassed beforehand (DP just really didn't want to go) but it was fine. I got all the info I wanted and, to be frank, some of the other partners looked deeply uncomfortable about being there.

I thought I'd clam up but actually found it was easier to ask some of questions I wanted as some of it would have made DP uncomfortable.

When it comes to the NCT ones I've not been to any myself but I know at least one person who went with their sister as they were in a similar predicament to yours.

I'm sure it'll be fine, perhaps just ask your NCT person if there's anything that requires your partner, explaining the situation, and perhaps ask a friend or close relative to come with you.

Report

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 03/06/2011 18:46

IME the NCT class was only really useful for DH. I had read up on everything, DH was clueless and needed to learn.

Having said that, it really wasn't worth the money at all and I would personally consider cancelling if you can get your money back.

Report

mrsravelstein · 03/06/2011 18:48

i haven't done a single ante natal class, and had no experience of babies at all before i had ds1. i muddled along somehow and now have 3dc. so i don't think you should feel obliged to go, you can learn everything you need to know and more from books/mumsnet/friends or just working it out as you go along.

Report

TheMitfordsMaid · 03/06/2011 18:49

It'll be fine, you'll be fine on your own and he'll soon learn what to do when faced with the baby! Go, take a friend, mother or MIL along with you but do go, if nothing else you'll meet other women having babies and that is really the point of NCT classes IMO.

Report

AngryFeet · 03/06/2011 18:51

Personally having attended NCT classes myself I would say don't bother. You will learn nothing there you can't read in most pregnancy books. You might meet some nice people but apart from that I think it is a bit of a waste of money. If you really want to go don't worry about being on your own but I would just read some books with DH to get an idea of what is going to happen/pain relief/ looking after the baby after.

Report

AngryFeet · 03/06/2011 18:52

Oh and I don't see any of the ladies from my NCT class now. They were nice enough but not my cup of tea. You can meet people at play groups etc when the baby is born if you feel the need to socialise with other mums.

Report

LoopyLoopsBettyBoops · 03/06/2011 18:53

It is totally about making a clique some other middle-class mummy friends.

Report

eurochick · 03/06/2011 19:28

Could a friend go with you?

I have actually done this for a close friend of mine. She did 2 NCT sessions (the weekend ones). Her hubby could make the first but not the second so I went along with her. We had a giggle (and it meant that if she had a long labour I could be on standby to give hubby a couple of hours rest if need be as I had some clue about what was going on). The most amusing thing was that one of the other partners was late and spent the whole session assuming we were lesbians and getting v embarrassed around us. His gf told my friend when she saw her afterwards.

A lot of the NCT stuff I saw was geared towards partners. You probably already know a fair bit about birth from being a mumsnetter. It seemed to be quite an eye-opener for most of the blokes there! They also split us off into groups at one point and gave us scenarios to talk through about what happens after the birth (e.g. you come home one day, house is a mess, baby is screaming and wife dumps it in your arms and shuts herself in the bathroom or whatever and tried to get the blokes to step into her shoes - shut in all day with a colicy baby, no sleep, etc so don't just assume she has been sitting aorund with her feet up - that kind of thing). It also got the couples to discuss what they would want in certain situations e.g. baby taken to SCBU in a different hospital to mother - where should the father go? That sort of thing. So he would probably benefit more than you (aside from the new mummy coffee club side of NCT).

Report

MotherPanda · 03/06/2011 21:50

Awww.... I feel much happier about it after reading all of this :) Thank you everybody.

I shall go if I feel like it. I feel like I know a lot about this labour/babies business - but that antenatal classes are a bit of a right of passage.

so.. we'll see on the day. I only paid a tiny bit for the class anyway :)