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Unplanned pregnancy single mum of one, needs advice

(2 Posts)
epiphany4 Tue 31-May-11 00:03:48

Please can anyone who has been in a similar position give me some advice? I am a single parent with troublesome 15 year old and had no support with my first child although I have loved being a mum and we have a happy life most of the time. I have been having a love affair with a man who is a few years younger and who has never been married and has no children. He wants the baby and I feel pressured to keep it but I am very worried I end up doing it alone again and I don't think I have it in me at this age. We have very different beliefs in politics, religion etc and I worry this will cause conflict in raising a child. I was very snappy with him and he lost it and shouted at me in anger which shocked me as I am feeling vulnererable. I had an abortion as a teenager and I have also had a miscarriage at 22 so I have experienced emotions involved in all these situations. I have an appointment with Bpas on 3rd June but I am really torn about this. One day I feel 100% sure I am not having the baby then the next day I feel like I want to keep it.Part of me wants to jump for joy and the other part absolutely wants this to end right now. I am also very moody. One day I feel peaceful and serene then the next I hate everyone and am very irritated. I feel I cannot trust my own judgment and am worried I make the wrong decision. I like my lifestyle and would have to sacrifice a lot if I had a child. Any advise would be much appreciated.

buttonmoon78 Tue 31-May-11 05:51:55

You poor thing. You've got an awful lot on your plate haven't you?

Part of the reason you swing from one extreme to the other about this is down to pg hormones - even when on the most even of keels, people are all over the place! And he won't be much better, so I can understand your snappiness and his shouting. But that's not going to solve anything.

With the politics/religion etc issues - nothing is insurmountable. I know plenty of couples who bring their children up together yet have hugely different views on 'life'.

I think you need to sit down with him and talk properly about where you both see this going. Explore all the options.

How much time do you have? How pg are you?

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