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Anyone else hating being pg?

(44 Posts)
babysaurus Mon 30-May-11 18:31:30

I am just over 6 weeks pg with a very planned and wanted baby. The thing is, I am HATING being pregnant! I feel tired, emotional and resentful and feel no affinity with the potential baby whatsoever. I started spotting the other day and I was vaguely concerned but, to be blunt, not half as concerned as perhaps I should have been. Ambivalent is probably a better word!
Is this one of the the things nobody tells you about? How tedious and frustrating the first few weeks are? I realise things could be much much worse, I have had barely any sickness for example, but I can't help resenting all the restrictions all the same.

Baby2b Mon 30-May-11 18:37:44

Just to save you, be careful with your wording as someone else used the word hating in their thread title and got absolutely flamed!

To answer your question, I very much wanted to be pregnant and am very grateful for it. Pregnancy does not love me though smile It is very normal to feel ambivalent, especially as you are making changes for something that probably doesn't feel yet and you can't discuss with friends (if sticking to the 12 week rule). Good luck with your pregnancy and don't feel alone with your feelings.

Baby2b Mon 30-May-11 18:39:25

Very badly worded last sentence, but I hope this helps.

YesterdaysPants Mon 30-May-11 18:42:02

I'm hating feeling so ill all day, every day. Liked it until that kicked in at about 6 weeks, am now 11 weeks and don't know if I can handle it much longer sad

I'm thinking of it as a long flight - crap, boring, annoying and disorientating, but at least it'll be amazing and all worth it at the other end.

KatyN Mon 30-May-11 18:42:30

I cried every night when I was first pregnant. My husband had to pull me through the days as I was struggling so much.
we started reading books together (well he read them to me as I fell asleep) to remind me WHY I was strugging so much. After seeing the little mite at 12 weeks I feel TOTALLY different and although I'm still experiencing quite a bit of discomfort its much better.

Someone said to me tht pregnancy was a battle between the mother and the child and basically the child has to win.

Keep reminding yourself what the end result will be and hang in there!

good luck,

Mizza76 Mon 30-May-11 18:42:52

Babysaurus, The fact is that the first trimester, in particular, can by physically and mentally challenging and can be difficult to enjoy. I certainly have not enjoyed it this time round, truth be told - I hate feeling this sick and tired. I am not "blooming"...
However, I keep on reminding myself of an essay written by a friend of mine who had difficulty conceiving and then lost two babies to miscarriage, one quite late in the pregnancy (she eventually did have a healthy baby). She wrote that every time she threw up, sometimes several times a day, she felt privileged - because at least she was carrying a baby. It's tempting sometimes to feel very sorry for ourselves, but you have to remember that we are very lucky - that it's all in a good cause - and that this too shall pass....
As for "affinity with the baby", at 6 weeks it's really too early to feel anything like that. Wait until you've heard it, seen it move on a scan and finally held it. You'll be fine...

YesterdaysPants Mon 30-May-11 18:43:09

Oh yes and the fact you can't tell anyone why you're being boring, and no-one understand how debilitating morning sickness is.

BikeRunSki Mon 30-May-11 18:45:22

I do not like being pg at all. 19 weeks into 2nd pg. Had absolutely debilitating hyperemisis in first trimester both times, this time with continuing nausea, back ache and tiredness, with a narky 2 yo to look after. Both pgs planned and wanted, but I do wish I could pop out to Tesco and buy a baby!

jenrendo Mon 30-May-11 18:45:50

We had IVF and were told we would never get preggers unless we had more cycles, then lo and behold we got pregnant 'by accident'. I was thrilled, elated and absolutely looking forward to be pregnant but was really disappointed with the first few weeks. I felt the same as you but also really sick and wondered why I had ever wanted anything so much and began to think I was weird! I don't think I actually believed I could be after going through so much, and it was like a total anti-climax. However, after the 12 week scan and once you start to actually see your tummy growing and feel the baby moving you might feel differently. I did anyway and when I saw the wee fellow on the screen I was suddently smitten and felt so protective of him. That's just me, but don't think you're odd to be feeling like you do. I'm sure there will be others along to tell you their stories, and as Baby2b says, don't feel alone!

YesterdaysPants Mon 30-May-11 18:46:35

Mizza thanks for your post x

theonlyhb2 Mon 30-May-11 18:48:26

I hate being pregnant! The first 12 weeks were the worst, as also had hyperemersis, not working, just stayed at home in bed for months. I wouldn't have been bothered if anything happened but 12 weeks scan did make me feel differently, and while I still hate it, I am quite excited now about a baby. This is my first and will probably be an only child

Baby2b Mon 30-May-11 18:50:06

Yesterdayspants, check out the hyperemesis thread. Lots of good advice and support. I only ever lurked, but it really helped.

babysaurus Mon 30-May-11 18:53:19

Thanks for all the replies! It seems like I'm not the only one then, which is a massive relief. I too have been a bit tearful, wondering if it really will all be worth it, or if we have in fact made a terrible mistake! Perhaps it will change dramatically once we've had the scan, I guess it makes it all seem more real rather than a long-winded and horrible inconvenience!

YesterdaysPants Mon 30-May-11 18:53:58

Thing is I feel weak and ridiculous too as I'm not projectile vomiting on an hourly basis, days go by when I'm not even actually sick. But feeling so ill, exhausted and nauseous 24/7 is so draining.

babysaurus Mon 30-May-11 18:54:57

Ps why did the person who used the word 'hating' get flamed Baby2be? I don't want to offend anyone who's trying or struggling, so sorry if I did or do!

Baby2b Mon 30-May-11 19:38:48

Yesterdayspants, the nauseous is hideous so don't feel ridiculous.

Babysaurus, not to worry. Just posted on a very similar thread before when I felt really awful and down and it created a lot of debate about being grateful.

lolajane2009 Mon 30-May-11 19:39:15

I didnt like first trimester as I was so exhausted and till the last few weeks i haven't really liked my body changing but I've finally learnt to accept it and now found it humourous that i keep getting stuck because i misjudge my body.

I suppose I have the upside that my severe depression seems to have been tamed by the pregnancy and apart from the baby disco dancing at 4am and insane dreams I am enjoying it.

i am currently 24 + 3

scepticalexpat Mon 30-May-11 19:46:54

I hate it too - not so much now at 17 weeks, but certainly the two months when I constantly felt sick. My hormones also made me very tearful at that stage, and despite having wanted a child for years and years I did start feeling a bit ambivalent about the pregnancy, wondering if we'd really done the right thing.

The thing is - no one (apart from a few weirdos!) wants to be pregnant. You want to have a baby. It's a means to an end and has a lot of unpleasant, uncomfortable and potentially life-threatening side effects - and you still have months and months to go before you get what you actually want. I don't feel at all bonded with my baby from the scan pictures yet - I'm excited, though, and maybe I will start to feel differently once she starts kicking.

It's all very well saying you should feel grateful because other people would love to be pregnant and can't, but I have never found that that makes me feel better about my own situation - just piles guilt on top of all the negative physical and emotional feelings!

Eviepoo Mon 30-May-11 20:04:21

I understand what you are saying, I too am so glad to be blessed with this child in me but am thing the PG experience this time. At 28 weeks I am still being sick, my IBS makes me want to cry by evenings and as I've not slept a full night since 4.5weeks I'm just downright fed up. I'm just trying to focus on the positive ending. X take care.

Whelk Mon 30-May-11 20:12:01

I hate being pregnant. But I love being a mum.
Two very different things. Don't feel guilty, its a horrible time for some of us.

minicorrect Mon 30-May-11 20:20:04

31 weeks and 2nd pregnancy - hated first one, hate this one. I'm just one of those people who doesn't bloom when I'm pregnant. Morning sickness is too hideous to even contemplate for anyone who's not been there, coupled with extreme tiredness, sore everything and all those hormones playing havoc with you. I find it a miserable time, but harder because you're not supposed to complain! And comments like you're not ill, you're pregnant really don't help!!!
Now I'm so much closer to the end, I still feel crap most days - still off food and suffering from SPD, but the light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter. And I can't wait to meet my little one now.
I totally and utterly sympathise with how you feel, but it's a long and difficult journey to the most incredible destination. Good luck!

roz1982 Mon 30-May-11 20:21:48

Ive been having a terrible pregnancy so far (almost 16 weeks). The only good things I've experienced so far are the 12 week scan which was really lovely and having nice nails! Everything else sucks - terrible nausea and vomiting, terribly emotional and down sometimes, feeling struck by absolute terror quite alot of the time, spots, greasy hair, weird dreams about baby turning into a cat and total lack of energy and sex drive. Oh and headaches. I really donlt like not being able to drink at social occasions either - the very few solitary drinks I have had have made me very ill the next day so have decided to give up completely. If I could have my baby tomorrow I would. Not everybody loves being pg - my sister loved it, I am disliking it, hoping it will get better!

wheresmytractor Mon 30-May-11 20:41:43

This is my third (and final) and the novelty has most definately worn off! I want to drink more than half a glass of wine after a long day with 2 preschoolers, I want to sleep on my back without feeling dizzy, I want to wear nice clothes and not be in pain after walking for 2 minutes, I want to feel 'me' again, i just feel so tired and hormonal and snappy and I just want it over! I am so looking forward to meeting my daughter and drawing a line under this stage of my life. 10 weeks to go!

I sound so ungrateful, but I know I am blessed to have my lovely family smile

StrawberryMewMew Mon 30-May-11 20:44:14

Roz I am 20 weeks and was with friends last night and had a single drink, I woke up feeling gawd awful!

OP Our baby was very much planned too but I really don't like all the symptoms that come with it either, although, it will all be worth it in the end. smile

theonlyhb2 Mon 30-May-11 20:59:07

yesterdayspants - the throwing up has just about gone for my HG but the exhaustion is crazy! its a risidual by product (or something).

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