42 year old sister unexpectedly pregnant

[Amber76]

My sister recently let me know that she is pregnant. They already have three children - the youngest of whom is four. They gave me all their baby stuff -I used to joke that I'd give it back if they needed it but they were adamant they would never have another baby.
She says she is very down about the pregnancy, worried and guilty. They were very excited about the other pregnancies. She is worried mainly about the health of the child and their finances. She says she is embarrassed to tell people that she is pregnant at her age.
I wonder if anyone had advice or has been through something similar? Looking back, what helped you come to terms with an unexpected pregnancy after you thought your family was already complete?

[Northernlurker]

Not been in that situation but what a lovely sister you are
I assume she is continuing with the pregnancy?
I think the best thing you can do is help her be excited about the baby. Is she a mumsnetter? You could point her in the direction of an antenatal club on here. Can you take her shopping in a few months for baby oddments. Talk to her about the baby - express your excitement because that is infectious and hopefully she will feel better seeing how you feel. Are your parents still alive? You need to get them on side asap - if there's any chance they might say anything unhelpful like 'why did you go and do that' or 'how will you manage?' then you need to tread on their toes pronto and get them to shut up. Mil did say something like the latter to me - I was 29 and expecting our much wanted third dc and it still really upset me!

[LittleB]

My MIL had no3 unexpectedly at 41, dc1&2 were 15 and 12 so fairly obviously an accident, she was v worried at first but sees it as a blessing with hindsight. She was worried when pregnant but very soon pleased to have him and her older ones helped a bit, she was also v pleased because her dh left and after her older children left home she still had dc3 to keep her company for many more years and just before he left me and dc2 (DH) produced her first grandchild to help keep her company (she cares for dd while I work part time).

[PrincessScrumpy]

Tell her she's a young 42 in your eyes and be excited for her. My auntie was told she couldn't have children and was fine and accepted it. She married at 28 and at 43 fell unexpectedly pregnant. Her son is now coming up to 18 and is extremely healthy. Some things are just meant to be.

[MrsVidic]

Out of our baby group 6 in total 2 were 40+ when they had dc 1 (the youngest mum is me at 28)
Nobody bats an eye lid at baby play sessions etc as it really is the norm now. Indeed the only thing we occasionally get is people assuming our dc's are twins if just 2 go out due to the age difference in the mums!

[hadak]

Hi I too have found myself pregnant at 43.(Will have had next birthday by the time baby is here) I can identify with your sisters feelings and we too were feeling embarrased about telling p[eople -we still havent told many and I am now 15 weeks. I think we worried most about our childs reaction but he has been great and appears excited, the other thing that helped me come to terms with this pregnancy was of course the scan and listening to the heartbeat. It made it more real somehow. I had amnio an d unfortunately and I believe unusually, this caused my waters to rupture however I am currently resting and being monitored and keeping my fingers crossed. This scare has made me realise just how much I want baby now.
I really hope all works out well for your sister I am sure if others are happy and excited for her she will begin to enjoy this new addition to her family.