Some minor reassurance needed...

[natwebb79]

I know I'm probably being very silly here so just need a kick up the bum. I'm 18 1/2 weeks pregnant and I don't really look very pregnant at all. There are 3 of us at work due around the same time and the other two have lovely bumps now. I just look a bit like I've over eaten at dinner time! It didn't bother me too much (the midwife at 16 week appointment found the heartbeat and said baby is growing fine) but I'm getting sick of everybody saying things like "you don't look pregnant", "you're looking very slim today" and "the other two are much bigger than you" etc. It's just made me a little bit paranoid that I should be a bit bigger by now.
Can anybody reassure me by telling me that they just looked a bit bloated at this stage? When I'm undressed I can completely tell the difference, but other people seem shocked at how small I am :(

[ShimmeryPixie]

Someone I worked with had this- she called it her "who ate all the pies stage". Don't worry, the bump will come in time :)

[natwebb79]

Thank you! :) I'm calling it my 'pod' at the moment, haha!

[Jill72]

yep - I am only just starting to look like a bump instead of just fat!! (19 weeks).

[vallinnapod]

I was/am exactly the same. At 18 weeks I was barely showing. Am now 25+5 and have popped out a lot more over the past week but some times and in some outfits he is still quite hidden! Bub is measuring bang on for his dates. SIL due 5 weeks after me and is much bigger. Everyone is different!

[Liabella]

I'm the same - 19 weeks pg and don't look any different really. I can still wear all my usual clothes, including jeans and waisted skirts.

I go from feeling worried and wishing I had a cute bump (when I google pictures of pregnant bellies and see how it looks on others) to feeling grateful that I still feel comfortable. I'm sure when we have big bumps at the end, we'll be grateful of this time! Mind you, my grandma had four children and was a size 12 throughout all of them - she never had a bump - and she is only 5'3! I guess it depends what our insides are like!!

Anyway, just wanted to say, I'm with you!!

[natwebb79]

Thank you! I was just saying to my other half last night that when we went for our 12 week scan, the 20 week scan ladies all looked very pregnant. I've only got a week and a half until my scan so thought I would look bigger by now! It's really nice of you all to reassure me, thanks. I guess with it being my first that makes a difference too.

[TurtlesAreRetroRight]

You're not even halfway yet. You've got months of having a lovely bump. I promise you'll be noticeably pregnant soon.

It's a positive thing in some ways. You are less cumbersome, clothes easier to fit etc.

It seems like such a long time with nothing to show for the pregnancy but you're right on the cusp of movement and a bump and a lovely, lovely middle bit to the pregnancy.

Congratulations.

[natwebb79]

Awww Turtles that's a lovely post, thank you :)

[Liabella]

My hubby and I keep joking that when we go for our 20 week scan (when I'll actually be 22 weeks!), they'll assume it's the 12 weeks one! Mind you, I may have popped by then as it's still more than 2 weeks away!

[natwebb79]

Sounds like we're in the same boat Liabella!

[TurtlesAreRetroRight]

I'm actually the opposite to you. I'm v short and have a short body so show much earlier than you'd expect. I'm 23ish weeks (I forget tbh, it's dc2 ) and have a very sizeable bump. But I feel like people think I'm fat or eating too much.

I learnt a long time ago that it doesn't matter what you experience in pregnancy/parenting whether it's bump size or birth experience or feeding/weaning or potty training, you'll always feel like you're being compared, often unfavourably, to other people. It took me a while to realise that I can change that by being positive about whatever happens to me/the baby through chance and also about what choices I make. Because really it's a bloody marvellous thing, growing a person and you can waste valuable hours wishing it away.

[natwebb79]

That's all very true, Turtles. As you say, I think it's comments from other people that make you paranoid. I was fine about being small until today - I must have had 5 colleagues comment on it in the space of a few hours! That along with 'was it planned?' and 'aren't you getting married' is driving me potty! I'd never realised how rude people can become in these situations. For their information the baby was very much planned and we've been happily unmarried for 4 years so have no plans to marry. You're right - I'll brace myself for the equally annoying competitive mum jibes about teething/walking/potty training :)

[TurtlesAreRetroRight]

At about the same gestation with dd, somebody shouted across a room on a training course 'god you're enormous, my dd is months ahead of you and so much thinner, but then she's naturally thin'. If I could have picked up my computer I'd have chucked it at her. You have to develop some kind of immunity to the lack of joined up thinking that people come up with.

You're not married? Terrible. You're a fallen woman. Living in sin etc. Numpties.

[natwebb79]

Hahaha! I can't believe how rude people think they can be to pregnant women!! One of my colleagues has got a lovely big bump now and she's a week ahead of me. She's only about 4'10" though bless her so it probably shows more any way. In the same breath as telling me I look too small, they're asking me if I've seen how 'huge' my colleague is! There really is no pleasing some people!

[Cattleprod]

With DS I went to my 20 week scan with a completely flat stomach. He was more than 10lb when he was born!!

This time I've had a bump since about 14 weeks.

[theonlyhb2]

28 weeks and I look like I have eaten too many cakes most of the time. I am waiting for this bump to pop out but no.....everything is OK too and its SO much bigger, I just dont have a proper pregnant bump

[Geeza]

Hi there....I am 20 weeks and get those comments too(ie you dont look pregnant)......one of the patients I worked with yesterday thought I had a lager belly! .....I just think we all take shape differently and we will have a bump in no time!

[HLSalter]

I'm almost 33 weeks and my bump has only just popped out in the last 2 weeks. I was still wearing some of my pre-pregnancy clothes and probably still could now but they are just a little bit too tight on my stomach to be comfy. Just remember that everyone's body changes differently in pregnancy and the attitude I had when I was feeling down about my lack of bump was at least I won't have to lose as much weight after birth. Dont worry, it will pop out eventually!

[natwebb79]

Thank you so much everyone. I think I'd just convinced myself that ladies at their 20 week scan have proper bumps. And it hasn't helped that so many people have made unhelpful comments :) I'll enjoy it while it lasts :)

[WizzyBizzy]

In my first pregnancy I was still able to wear some of my pre-pregnancy jeans at 28 weeks. In my second pregnancy I was out of all of my pre-pregnancy trousers by 16 weeks!! Some of the people you're being compared with may not be on baby no. 1. Either way, everyone grows differently and comparisons are pointless. And most people who comment on your size are doing so just to make conversation and really have no clue as to whether you're big or small for your stage. It used to make me laugh in my first pregnancy because I'd often here in the same day: 'You're very neat for XX weeks' and then later 'Wow, aren't you big!'. It's the same when the baby arrives (get used to it!) 'he's very tiny for 3 weeks'; 'he's enormous for 3 weeks' - actually people don't know - they think they're comparing with other people they know but unless they have incredibly accurate spatial awareness they are really just making it up.

As others have said, enjoy not being too big - it is a complete blimmin pain in the end (lovely as it is to know you've got a bouncing baby inside you!). You will probably be sleeping and walking more easily than you'll be able to in a few weeks.

Congrats!