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Starting 3rd trimester, unprepared

(15 Posts)
Rootatoot Sun 22-May-11 22:59:15

I'm 27 weeks. Had a lovely day seeing friends with their kids today but all the questions from my female friend about what stuff have I got, and do I know what I want birth wise etc, all have made me feel a bit wobbly. She's a good mate and will be supportive I know, it's just got me thinking.

I am next due to see mw at beg June. Haven't seen her since 16 weeks. I am booked in for an antenatal class at around 34 weeks but I only get one class. I don't really know whether it'll cover enough info. As for birth plans and equipment, I kind of don't know what I need to know if that makes sense. Will the mw help with making decisions?

I haven't really started buying too much stuff yet. Been promised some things from friends but they haven't materialised as yet. Every time I go look in mothercare, I just feel a bit lost and walk out without getting anything.

I seem to lurch from feeling like I've got loads of time (might be in denial here!) and it'll be ok, to feeling like I should know much more about everything and be more on top of things.

Guess I just feel a bit on my own with it all & lacking some confidence to get on top of it but then ultimately, I guess all women are on their own with it aren't they? It's not like anyone can do all this stuff/ decide for us as it's our bodies it is happening to. DH isn't very good at talking about stuff, though I think he is doing his best.

I am probably just over tired and rambling really so apologies if this isn't making sense. Guess I just wanted to have a little wobble out loud.

marie14 Sun 22-May-11 23:22:00

Hiya! smile
I'm 29+5 and feel the same! After my first scan i went a bit crazy when it firt seemed real and bought a few bits and bobs off ebay but in terms of real practical things I don't have a lot! (cot, moses basket, vests and blankets etc etc etc! bought loads of rubbish like a door bouncer he can't use till 4 months!!!!!)

My boyfriends made a list of thing for us to get, compiled off loads of different websites expanding on some and discarding others and we're trying to buy one or two bits a week, not only to spread the cost but keeps us excited rather than having one massive splurge!

Lots of things on website lists you don't have to worry about yet, I was in a dizzy about cot bedding, but my mum pointed out he's going to be in his moses basket for at least two months and so not to worry! Same goes for choosing a baby monitor etc!

And like everyone says, the shops won't shut after he's born!!! As long as we have feeding equipment (just incase my boobs don't work!) somewhere for him to sleep, a pram, a bouncer so we can put him down aand nappies think we'll be fine :D

Rootatoot Sun 22-May-11 23:33:09

Thanks Marie. It's not just the getting stuff I think, it's the knowing stuff and feeling prepared in terms of what's going to happen. I feel like I know nothing some days. I got a baby book from a friend but it is kind of overwhelming and the photos were like a horror film so i kind of only peek when I'm feeling ok.

MsChanandlerBong Mon 23-May-11 21:28:43

Hi - I am currently 23+5 and have just started reading a book by Dr Miriam Stoppard called 'First Time Parents' which I am finding massively helpful as I am completely clueless about all things babies! I'm (obviously) not an expert, but I am finding it a good no-nonsense read with clear, easy-to-navigate sections with lots of (non-gruesome) pictures and bullet pointed lists. It is a Dorking Kingsley book that I bought from Tesco on a BOGOF deal - so not expensive!

Has anyone else read this book who can vouch for whether the advice is as good as it seems? Or anywhere else we can look for a full 'briefing' on our impending babies? Thanks!

Rootatoot Tue 24-May-11 16:19:58

Thanks for the book recommendation MsCh. I have been thinking I should get something that might help. I don't think the book I was given by my friend is for me. Too graphic for starters! Some things I'd rather remain in my minds eye than shoved in front of me in technicolour!!

Think I might browse the amazon listings for ones that are recommended. I'd like something that covers birth and first few weeks I think really.

Feeling a bit better today. Had good sleep last night & been busy today so distracted from all the pg stuff, apart from when baby decides to kick me really hard. It actually made me jump earlier. Was quite painful! smile

KatieWatie Tue 24-May-11 16:26:03

I could've written your post myself. You're one step ahead of me though, at least you've booked an antenatal class. I don't even know where to start with that one. I don't even really know what it is!

KatieWatie Tue 24-May-11 16:28:05

Oooh can you let us know what book you get, I also want something 'non-graphic' that covers birth and first few weeks. All I've got at the mo is the standard NHS telephone directory sized one that they give you at booking in appt, and it's not that good.

Newmummytobe79 Tue 24-May-11 16:33:02

Hi again Rootatoot! smile

Thanks for starting this thread as I feel overwhelmed too! Plus I seem to have gone from friends congratulating me (early days) to them telling me about the horrors of the first year (they seem to tell me after they've had a few glasses of wine! Them not me by the way!) so I'm pretty delicate at the moment!

I've not booked my antental classes yet - and midwife did ask if I had at 25 week appointment ... so I guess I should really!

We've just ordered our pram (exciting!) so that's done ... but as for anything else like pain relief etc ... I keep convincing myself I've ages to decide and that it all just fall into place - yeah right! x

AppleyEverAfter Tue 24-May-11 16:47:58

Hiya, I'm 22 weeks and have got a couple of things (pram) and most stuff has been donated by friends. There was a good thread on here about baby things and what you really do/don't need, I'll try to find it for you!

As for my DH, he wasn't really getting involved until we started decorating the nursery last week and he's really sprung into action. It's his project now and he won't let me lift a finger to help, he's even chosen the paint, bless!

AppleyEverAfter Tue 24-May-11 16:52:34

Here it is!!

Definitive new baby list

lolajane2009 Tue 24-May-11 16:58:19

I have got quite a few things like clothes and nappies etc but tbh it still hasn't occuurred fully to me that I am actually having a baby. I am 23 + 4 atm.

Rootatoot Tue 24-May-11 17:46:22

Newmummy - we keep bumping into each other today! How nice smile I told you in your post that I have had off days too and I started this thread when I was having a major one! Feeling bit better today because I had good sleep and I've been busy working so not dwelling on stuff so much. I booked antenatal class after my 20 week scan but I only get 1 and it's not until week 34. If you ring soon, in case yours get booked up, that's prob a good idea. That IS exciting getting pram. What did you go for? I'm still being wimpish in case I'm picking wrong one and haven't ordered yet ;)

Appley - Thanks for that list. I'll bookmark it I think. I think you might be right about DH and 'project'. The nursery is currently my office so major upheavel on cards when I complete this work.

Oh and Katie - yes if I get round to sussing out a good book I will post back and let you know. Prod me if I don't - baby brain forgetfullness! I didn't get an NHS one. Antenatal class, AFAIK, will just cover the birth for me. So I am expecting a MW will talk about pain relief, options, breathing (I hope) etc. I don't know about the breastfeeding one yet. Must check that out.

Right must go, thank you for replies today ladies. Made me feel much happier to have a chat. I have days where I'm all 'woe is me, nobody gives a stuff', which I was yesterday and day before, so it's nice to know that people do! XX

Misty9 Tue 24-May-11 18:25:45

Hi there
I'm 25weeks and feeling similarly to you smile
Me and DH went to Mothercare and Ikea at the weekend and ended up arguing about what we do/don't need - and walked out with nothing! We both feel a bit overwhelmed with all the choice in the shops. We've got the pram/pushchair sorted (deposit down) and some clothes and cloth nappies on order...but it seems like there's loads more we should be thinking about.

Re: good book, I've got 'what to expect when you're expecting' and its pretty good, although I haven't got to the labour/birth bit yet (!) I've had a scan and seems quite informative. My SIL has also given me the 'Good Birthday Book' by NCT I think? Haven't looked at it yet, but will report back...

There is still quite a bit of time, and although it's not ideal to trek around shops in the later stages of feeling like a house smile like someone else said, the shops don't close when the baby's born....we can send our OHs out with lists! Hmm, maybe I will get a bit more planned then.... ;)

Misty9 Tue 24-May-11 18:26:50

Ooh, and I've signed up to a pregnancy yoga/exercise class starting next week (Hampshire) which I think might be quite informative for labour etc. Might be worth looking into what's around your area? I paid £75 for an 8 week course smile

QuiltySecrets Fri 03-Jun-11 14:46:34

ooh Misty are you going to the FitMama class in Basingstoke that starts on Thurs 9th? It sounds like it might be from your description...I've just signed up for that course too!

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