Hi there,
I'm a bit emotional, so please bear with me. I've just found out on Monday that I am pregnant. Although it was something I thought wanted, now it has actually happened, I am absolutely terrified.
I keep bursting in panicky tears, I can;t stop. I am scared to look in any baby books. I'm almost in denial. I had no idea it would be like this. I thought I'd be happy snd excited, but I'm not.
I feel disgusted and I don;t understand why. I have an awful mirror right opposite the shower, and now I can;t look at myself naked. I have started showering in dark, or the curtain wrapped round or my back to it...ridiculous I know.
I know many people are in worse of positions than me. For a start I'm 33, my boyfriend is very happy, excited and so supportive. My close family are the only ones who know and are all thrilled to bits. Its just me, I am terrified. I don;t know if I can do this. I'm scared of everything. Of my body changing, giving birth, being a mum...I guess just the unknown.
I know I sound like I'm overreacting, but this is how I honestly feel. My first reaction was that I wanted a termination...please don't judge me. It was a knee jerk reaction. I do still think that I do on low points, but I think it would be for the wrong reasons.
I have an appointment with the doctors tomorrow hopefully. Do you think they will be helpful? even finding out how far gone I am scares me. I'm just a bit of a mess and falling to bits. I am honestly trying to think positive. I do like babies, I am trying to think of all the fun, wonderful times I will have ahead of me. But it just comes down to the fact I can't associate pregnancy and me.
I just wonder if this is normal. I watch Jeremy Kyle I see how badly others have it. Why is it they can do it and I am having a major wobble. Has anyone else felt like this? do you think it will get better, because I can't imagine how i can cope with for 9 months
Please help if you can.
Thank you x
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Pregnancy
newly pregnant, scared, and can't stop crying..
48 replies
beannachd · 13/04/2011 20:43
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