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Has anyone else gone off sex????

(23 Posts)
Laura05 Sun 13-Feb-11 14:56:32

Hi all I'm 16 weeks and to be honest just can't be bothered! I have almost 0 drive at all and only really "participate" for the sake of my OH (whilst hoping he'd just hurry up) smile Does anyone else feel like this? And if so does it improve cos I really miss my sex life and the closeness xx

NatzCNL Sun 13-Feb-11 15:30:48

Hi Laura,
Im 8 weeks with DC3, and I found the first trimester very tiring with all of my pregnancies, my sex drive just disappeared! But in my second and certainly my third trimesters, my poor DP got pounced on at every given oppertunity (more so in my 1st pregnancy as I had a little one keeping me bust during the day).
Some women find they go off sex completely during pregnancy, especially if they are suffering with sickness, aches, pains etc.
How you feel is totally normal, Im in exactly the same predicament as you at the moment, luckily DP was prepared for this due to previous pregnancies, and is very atient with me... grin
Hopefully you will find your sex drive again, and if it doesn't come back during the pregnancy, it will definately come back after (no big belly in the way and tender boobs are gone if not breast feeding) Although a word of warning, my sex drive returnedw with avengance and was pregnant again when DD was only 7 months wink

SarahScot Sun 13-Feb-11 16:13:43

I have gone off sex completely, my poor poor DH. I felt sick up to 20 weeks, then the SPD kicked in, so it's really the last thing I feel like is sex. Am 36 weeks now, baby is engaged, which seems to have alleviated the SPD symptoms somewhat. In fact, earlier on today I was telling DH we really should try to have sex a couple of times before baby arrives - last time it took 9 weeks before I could even contemplate it.

mrsravelstein Sun 13-Feb-11 16:15:20

i had absolutely zero sex drive in first two pregnancies (boys) - it was slightly better in 3rd (girl) - but yes it does come back (eventually... lack of sleep and breastfeediing don't help AT ALL)

Beaurevage Sun 13-Feb-11 18:07:30

Completely went off it and had virtually none of the 'side effects' of pregnancy to blame the loss on. Just wasn't up for it. I'm 34 weeks now though and was up for it twice in the last two days! DP thinks he's dies and gone to heaven. He's been an absolutely saint.

Doubt that helps all too much, but there is a bit of hope smile

YogaMummy2B Sun 13-Feb-11 18:25:25

Similar story to Beau, went off it until 3rd trimester and now have some notions. I find light touch massage (practice for D day) and oodles of lubricant helps no end!!
Worst thing you can do is to feel guilty about it, that made things worse.

pipoca Sun 13-Feb-11 19:10:00

25 weeks and totally not interested at all. Was very sick til around 20 weeks and still tired and a bit sicky, but apart from that feel no desire to shag at all. think we-ve had sex about twice since i got pregnant and I-ve not really enjoyed it.
feel too uncomfortable and just really cannot be bothered. DH a bit fed up but I-m not making myself do it when I don-t want to I-m afraid.
I do feel a bit guilty but not enough to do it just for the sake of it.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 13-Feb-11 19:13:09

Yes I went off it completely until 3rd trimester - well more stayed off it because BFing completely killed my libido too, not entirely sure how we managed to conceive DC2! grin

Anyway, I'm 34 weeks now and let's just say that DH is pleasantly surprised wink

violetwellies Sun 13-Feb-11 19:25:36

Am 25 weeks and felt horny on 3 occassions - Im not into having sex if I dont want it so poor old DP has only had sex 3 times in nearly 6 months poor lad, the last twice were quite recent so Im hoping thats a sign of improvement because I really miss wanting sex IYSWIM

Ilovekittyelise Sun 13-Feb-11 20:19:22

i'm 10 weeks and haven't done it since the day we conceived; went right off it, right away. am hoping that the utter exhaustion and nausea will lift and will feel like doing something other than sleeping on the couch, swimming, enjoying life, would all be welcome changes from the miserable fat lump i am at the moment

paternal Sun 13-Feb-11 20:50:44

Nope! My OH is 10+5 and I have to say she is enjoying it more now than ever!

It's really enjoyable for me too, Her response to stimulus and sensitivity has increased ten fold.

I've always been able to bring her to orgasm, but the other day she actually ejaculated. (sorry I know TMI) but it was amazing.

We have always been regular, never going for more than 2/3 days without sex. But since falling pregnant, it's just got so much better.

tlise Sun 13-Feb-11 21:53:08

I can take it or leave it but a lot of it is to do with down below, the slightest touch and its tearing and then its sore, so I don't want to make it worse

clouiseg Sun 13-Feb-11 22:57:44

Omg...3 DDs, DC4 en route, oodles of side effects and just plain old knackered! CBA!!

Love DH and really do fancy the pants off him but am sooooo tired/achy/sore down below that I just want to sleep shock

Keep thinking "I must give DH an make up for this" but he's working or I'm swamped under with the kids etc.

And paternal lovely to hear that someone is getting it grin but as your other half is only 10 weeks, post back here in oooh lets say 20 weeks and see how she is Gravity and heavy babies do not a comfy fanjo make....shock

But I truly hope my SD comes back soon...actually, where is DH now??!! lol!!!

Applemuncher Mon 14-Feb-11 10:13:37

Done it twice in 35 weeks - I feel SO guilty!!! blush.

Am very uncomfortable and have SPD but went to birthing class last week and midwife said that having sex from 36 weeks EVERY DAY really reduces the risk of going overdue shock. Not sure I can manage that - sex drive was never really 'up there' before I got pg!!

Still - will have to try hmm - I guess biologically the urge has gone, maybe because I'm already pg, I just wish I was one of the lucky ones who got the urges!!

Speedbump Mon 14-Feb-11 11:33:14

I'm 32 weeks and have no inclination at all. In fact, it makes me cringe.
I haven't wanted it all pregnancy. In the 1st trimester I was feeling too sick and tired. The 2nd, SPD kicked in and now I'm in the 3rd, I want it but my 'bits' are just too swollen with the extra blood pumping round that it is physically impossible without pain.

My poor husband has been a saintand just laughs and takes the mick now He knows that I 'want' it but I just can't face the pain.

I'm going to have to get my husband involved in night feeds once baby is here so that he is too tired to want it wink until we're both more settled.

boredbuthappy Mon 14-Feb-11 12:06:39

Neither myself or my hubby have liked the idea of sex throughout this whole pregnancy. I'm 36 weeks now. He thinks it's weird, and I don't feel like it AT ALL. Despite it having been over 8 months since the last time we 'did it', I don't feel any less close to him. We spend a lot of time together, just hanging out, cuddling, eating, watching movies, dreaming, and sleeping! We both look forward to that day, probably still some time away, that we can jump back into the sack happily. I think it will be a very romantic moment!

girlfromdownsouth Mon 14-Feb-11 13:02:12

Completely went off it during the 1st trimester (DC3) - combination of tiredness, severe all day & night nausea, and also due to the fact I bled quite a bit every time we did do it.

Things seemed to have settled down now - 19wks and can feel my mojo returning. However, DP is a boobs man and mine are ridiculously sore & tender - I can't bear for him to touch them and yell if he does! Not great for the libido! smile

Also I found that especially with the first pg, DP went off it. I think like boredbuthappy he found it weird, like he was going to hurt the baby and I was happy as I didn't fancy it at all. I think that by pg3 he has got used to the idea now...

Laura05 Mon 14-Feb-11 16:13:45

Thanks all for your comments!

I had a talk with OH this morning and told him it's just not comfy and i'm sooo not in the mood but after reading some of your comments i also told him it would porb come back in my 3rd trimester. Now he's on a count down for the 3rd trimester and i could have ripped his head off! What if i don't fancy it then you stupid man!grin

Anyway i'll just have to wait and see but fingers crossed all will go back to normal-ish lol

DMCWelshCakes Mon 14-Feb-11 17:36:50

1st pregnancy - went off it totally except for about twice in late 2nd trimester.

2nd pregnancy - no interest at all until 21 weeks, then lots of enthusiasm from then on. Am now 30 weeks and interest is waning slightly as I'm getting bigger and hips/back are hurting more.

I don't think there's a standard reaction to be honest, even within the same pregnancy.

PukeyMummy Mon 14-Feb-11 18:38:10

"Sex"....hmm, rings a bell.

Luckily for me DH has been tired/ill the past month or so, so haven't had to bother ;-)

MonicaLucci Tue 07-Feb-17 15:21:55

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Libbylove2015 Tue 07-Feb-17 15:26:46

Ergh totally off it and have been from day 1 (15 weeks now). Literally cannot think of anything worse - it is like that side of me has died!

Hoping it won't last forever but then neither me or my husband have particularly high sex drives, so thankfully it isn't a problem at the moment.

Pointlesscrap Tue 07-Feb-17 21:26:02

Forget sex, I've just gone off men altogether

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