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Baby Shower?!! Bother or Don't Bother??

(37 Posts)
PreggoGaGa Sat 08-Jan-11 02:13:35

Hi I just wanted to get an idea of if a Baby shower is a good idea??confused . Apparently it's tradition for someone other then mum to be to organise and host the event, but no friends have offered my family don't really know how to throw one. So it's up to me at 32 weeks now to plan my baby show, I will be 38 weeks at the time of the shower!! Any ideas of how to throw a shower or how to hint to my so called friends that I really want one. Or shall I not bother with friends and just get my family to do something for me?? X

JeelyPiece Sat 08-Jan-11 05:42:50

Why do you need/want a shower? Are you in a country other than the UK? They're not usually done here, I don't know anyone who's had one.

YunoYurbubson Sat 08-Jan-11 05:53:16

You can't really throw your own shower. If showers are not traditional in your country or culture then you don't get one.

Why do you want one? How do you imagine it?

SleepWhenImDead Sat 08-Jan-11 08:49:57

I had one (hosted by a friend) and have thrown them for others, they are a nice way of showing support to your heavily pregnant friend. However I agree, you can't really throw your own one, it's for someone else to organise. Could you drop hints to a close friend?

Tootlesmummy Sat 08-Jan-11 08:58:24

I personally don't see the point of them. However, if no one has offered to do one then I would let it go.

onimolap Sat 08-Jan-11 09:18:56

I'm in UK, where they are not a tradition, but a friend from US explained to me that you mustn't arrange it yourself as present-giving is obligatory. A friend should do it, or it will look as if you are saying "gimme".

clareanna Sat 08-Jan-11 09:27:48

preggo a baby shower can be lovely, and there are lots of suggestions online for games etc. However, the main benefit is just getting together with your close friends to mark your impending motherhood. Perhaps instead of a baby shower you could just get them together for tea? Btw you'll get loads of pressies when the baby is born!

LondonL Sat 08-Jan-11 09:29:24

You may feel a little awkward throwing your own shower, especially once people start asking you what gifts to give you. Maybe think about hosting a meet and greet once the baby is here and you're up to being around friends and family. It's likely they'll 'shower' you with gifts at that point and you won't be in a strange position about it.

Highlandgirl Sat 08-Jan-11 10:24:02

Present giving before the baby arrives isn't obligatory....IMF full stop, but in the USA this seems to be another market they have found to fill....!! I think your friend is being really sweet but it's just not something that is done by us Brits, however this could change.

Some people still can't get there heads around Wedding list..grin grin

I won't throw your own shower, but agree with another post why not have a 'get together' with close friends now.

PreggoGaGa Sat 08-Jan-11 10:24:02

Thank u for the NICE comments regarding showers. That's the thing bout the uk, no one likes to do Anything out of the ordinary. If u knew the kinda year I had loosing a baby just b4 this one, suffering from depression cuz of it I think I derseve it!! We just wanna celebrate because we didn't think I'd get pregnant. I won't arrange my own it does sound a bit like I'm asking for stuff lol. I think I will hint to my gf's or family. Thank u x x

PreggoGaGa Sat 08-Jan-11 10:30:50

Thank u for the NICE comments regarding showers. That's the thing bout the uk, no one likes to do Anything out of the ordinary. If u knew the kinda year I had loosing a baby just b4 this one, suffering from depression cuz of it I think I derseve it!! We just wanna celebrate because we didn't think I'd get pregnant. I won't arrange my own it does sound a bit like I'm asking for stuff lol. I think I will hint to my gf's or family. Thank u x x

Highlandgirl Sat 08-Jan-11 10:30:58

Preggo bless you..of course you deserve to celebrate, but you deserve a health happy baby more! The baby will be the best gift ever. And you will get loads of things when it arrives....!! People love to spoil new babies and Mama's smile and also buy for either a girl or a boy.

My granny and step-mother have both been knitting like mad, however neither of them have finished them fully, both think it's bad luck to do so before the baby is born...I guess we are old fashioned like that in Britian!!!

Good luck with babe, i'm 33 weeks and longing to meet it..!

cocoachannel Sat 08-Jan-11 10:40:27

A friend if mine is really kindly throwing me one. I was a bit wary at first as I didn't know if it was the done thing, but am very much looking forward to it now.

I was also a bit worried about the gift issue as didn't want people to feel obliged to buy something. I've asked my friend to pass on the message that gifts aren't expected, but if course everyone wants to buy something as I would for any of them, so I am suggesting they buy whatever their favourite book was in childhood for DD and write an inscription.

CrapBag Sat 08-Jan-11 11:49:41

My friend is throwing me one, she couldn't wait. I wasn't planning on having one or wanting one but as she wanted to do it, I thought it would be a nice way to spend an afternoon with my friends, when we are all child free!

Definitely not something to do yourself though. Looks grabby.

WiiUnfit Sat 08-Jan-11 12:06:54

Hi Preggo, we discussed baby showers on another unrelated thread & the general concensus was they can look "grabby".

One poster came up with a lovely idea as an alternative though - why not have a lovely meal somewhere with your friends and / or family & emphasise to them that gifts are completely optional, this way you won't look grabby, you'll get to enjoy a lovely night out with F&F and your guests won't feel obliged.

JBrd Sat 08-Jan-11 12:54:21

'Present-giving is obligatory...'?!? Sorry, but that does sound like saying 'gimme'!

You can't just expect people wanting to buy you a present because you're pregnant. I think it really should be left up to them to get you something if they want to after the baby is born, if not, then hey, just a card is fine, too, don't you think? Fair enough you want to celebrate that you go pregnant, but that's really more something between you and your other half, isn't it?

onimolap Sat 08-Jan-11 13:02:03

"Shower" is short for "shower with gifts", so it is obligatory (hence why someone else hosts). Celebratory parties for pregnancies do not have to be showers.

BorgLady Sat 08-Jan-11 13:05:40

The truth is that most people you are friends with/related to will want to buy your baby a present, and if you don't know anyone to give you their hand-me-downs (as I didn't) then it can save you some money.

I had a list of stuff I still needed to get and if people asked then I showed them. I made it REALLY clear there was no need to buy anything and some guests didn't and some just bought some really cheap stuff like a pair of baby nail scissors.

My party was lovely, a great occasion for my family and friends to welcome my new baby before he was actually here.

If you're not a grabby person then it won't be a grabby occasion. I don't see why it's any worse than a birthday party on that score. I didn't have any of the games or anything either.

johnnycomelurky Sat 08-Jan-11 14:07:41

My mate and her husband held their own - it was all their friends, men and women and children and it was really lovely. They had a bbq and people brought fairy cakes, etc. We played games and I think everyone brought a gift but I think everyone would have bought something when the baby came anyway. It was a really nice day.

I'm Canadian so would have definitely had one if I still lived there. One of my mates has offered to have one for me and I wasn't sure but have decided to have a low key Jacob's join type thing at her house. Not expecting presents though just a nice catch up.

YunoYurbubson Sat 08-Jan-11 14:29:06

You can have a pre-baby celebration party. You can't call it a shower.

PreggoGaGa Sat 08-Jan-11 17:11:23

I didn't want to come across like I wanted presents so all the above are really good ideas and suggestions. All my mates r in there late teens early 20's so I would feel horrible having them by me stuff. I'm only 19 my self and I think in my generation of pregnant teens it's more common to do the party and expect to get gifts but I'm not like that. I just wanna spend time wid my loved ones before bubba comes. Having a meal or a small lil get together sounds perfect. Thanks for all ur help smile

Tarlia Sat 08-Jan-11 17:35:03

How about a bring a dish get together at your place? That way you can see everyone before baby comes, have a lovely time together, with little stress for you as the host. A self organised shower is grabby unfortunately.

babynelly2010 Sat 08-Jan-11 17:38:18

My MIL gave us baby shower party.
Everyone was allowed not just girls, presents were not required. There were games (my husband helped to put together) and the games where like, making formula with one hand or guessing who is who on the baby picture, there was a small race as well. It was so unusual and so much fun. I am American and I would never wanted a traditional girly shower, they are boring and really don't appeal to me.

Toni2011 Sat 08-Jan-11 17:40:01

I recently went to a shower for my friend who sent out invitations clearly stating that presents were not expected. Some of us brought along a bottle of fizzy drink or a plate of food so that she didn't have to do anything, but other than that we did not feel obliged to give gifts.

A friend of mine has just offered to host a party for me, and I have told everyone that I already have everything I need (courtesy of some lovely hand-me-downs and of my love of shopping for baby things) so I am not expecting any gifts.

I think if your friends know you, they will know you are not just looking for handouts.

The showers I have been to have been really lovely occasions, where a group of girls get together and spend some time just chatting about baby things and socialising. Having a baby is a really special thing and should be celebrated - I really don't see why an expectant mother should be seen negatively for wanting to celebrate their child. After all, when the baby arrives, the last thing you want is a house full of people trying to have a party!

I say go for it Preggo and enjoy your celebration. Good luck with your baby x

onimolap Sat 08-Jan-11 18:23:16

Of course go for a party! And I hope you have a wonderful time!

Just don't call it a shower, if you don't want to be showered.

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