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Friend does not want baby

(4 Posts)
braceet Tue 04-Jan-11 17:42:17

My neighbour is an East European - 25 years old and has a 40 year old husband, and has been married for 12 months, it seems he has pressed her into having a baby, she did not really want one - yet anyway.
I saw her yesterday again and she is depressed about the forthcoming baby, when I try to talk to her about it she say she cannot bear the thought of it and she thinks her life is over, she worries me. The husband is all grins and happy about the baby.
To be honest I think she married to get away from her country and is homesick. She has always been a bit of a moaner, but I think this is odd.
is this depression about a forthcoming baby common? Will this be picked up at ante natel classes so she can get help?

cocoachannel Tue 04-Jan-11 18:26:46

Yes, she will have an opportunity to talk to midwives IF her husband lets her go to antenatal appointments alone. Even if her husband does go along sometimes the MW will ask the partner to leave the room so she can ask about DV, although in my case I was just shown the Q on paper with DH there. How pregnant is she?

She may just be scared and upset about being away from family when the baby comes. I have a couple of friends from overseas who are expecting much wanted babies at the moment, but both have mentioned how they wish their parents were nearer.

Flisspaps Tue 04-Jan-11 18:30:27

Cocoa I was never asked or shown a question about DV, and DH was present at all my ante-natal appointments (at my request!) but was never asked to leave the room.

Braceet It might be worth suggesting that she call the midwife when DH isn't around if he attends the ante-natal classes with her.

braceet Tue 04-Jan-11 18:53:50

I dont think her other half is bad, just thoughtless, she agreed to have one then now I guess she has changed her mind. She is strong willed herself, and I just think she did not count on getting pregnant so quickly.

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