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28weeks and marriage is a mess

(2 Posts)
rain1014 Thu 23-Dec-10 12:02:35

Warning : this is going to be a long one.

I love my husband, but our problems seem to have overtaken all else in our life, and I am at the stage where I cant see a way out.
Im feeling depressed and am having feelings of regret about falling pregnant , this is my 3rd child.

We had a massive fight , or rather he had a massive go at me two weeks ago where by I left for the night with my two girls as he had been drinking and got on his high horse , the thing is what he does and says at those times hurts so much and this time Im finding it near impossible to get over , then my mother telling me that she doesnt like him , he doesnt like her ect the stress of Christmas day looming over us , if he comes with us to my parents he is going to be on edge if he doesnt come Im going to be asked where is your husband.

After what happened he kinda went into melt down and went to his Dr seeking help , I stepped right in to help him ,putting everything thing that I felt aside, he doesnt handle stress well and is a very emotional person.

I feel like this just isnt going to work as I need him to be strong as Im finding the pregnancy very hard, and I have enough to worry about without having to feel like I need to look after him ,
The thought of doing it alone scares me just as much as the thought of staying in a marriage that is not working.

Im feeling so angry towards him right now , for putting me in this situation.

tebbles Thu 23-Dec-10 12:47:46

Is there anyway he (or you) can leave and stay at a friend's/relative's/cheap hotel for a few days to try and put some space between yourself and him for a while?

I wouldn't pressure him to go to your family's for Christmas. He might need this time and space alone. I wouldnt worry about explaining where he is. My DH has actually gone away on holiday by himself at Christmas as he needed a break and I went to my family's and no one thought it was strange. I just said that he needed some time to himself. It is a little different for us though as he has no family so if we do 'family things' at xmas it is ALWAYS with my family, which doesnt seem very fair so I dont mind him wanting a break from it.

If they do question you further and you dont want to go into it, make an excuse like he has been finding work difficult this year and really wanted to have a proper break over Christmas.

I think Christmas always puts more pressure on relationships so try not to make any hasty decisions. Give yourselves some time and space.

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