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20 weeks and fretting

(17 Posts)
StiffyByng Sat 18-Dec-10 19:38:17

Please tell me reassuring things about your own experiences. I am 20.4. I have no bump, and can only feel a very slight bit of resistance just above my pelvis when I lie down at night. I have lots of (ahem) padding on my tummy from pre-pregnancy, but nothing underneath it. I can't feel anything either. I am at the point where I've had to stop reading any pregnancy advice because they're all full of talk about how big my bump is getting and how much I'll be feeling the kicking by now, and it just makes me feel miserable and wrong. A friend of mine is due 10 days before me - also first baby - and I saw her yesterday. She has a proper bump and can not only feel kicking, but so can her husband. Please tell me I'm not a freak. Only having a home doppler, and hearing the heartbeat easily, is stopping me from going mad at this point. And no scan till the start of January!

rubyslippers Sat 18-Dec-10 19:42:54

With my first I didnt show until 26 weeks and was in regular clothes until then

It can also depend on the position of the baby and all sorts of things

jinglebellssantasmells Sat 18-Dec-10 19:43:41

During my PG with DD i didnt have a bump at 20 weeks and think i had only just started feeling movement, i am now 18 weeks with my 2nd as just feel more fat then like i have a bump

jinglebellssantasmells Sat 18-Dec-10 19:45:23

i dont think my bump properly started showing till about 28 weeks with first i was still in regular clothes till around then i think

MumNWLondon Sat 18-Dec-10 19:47:26

I told work all three times at 24.5 weeks - ie last possible day... each time had NO bump until around 27-28 weeks and then it popped out.

With DS2 (DC3) didn't feel ANYTHING before 20 weeks scan (anterior placenta).

If you can hear heartbeat easily why are you worried?

StiffyByng Sat 18-Dec-10 19:52:46

Thanks - good to see.

I WOULD be worrying a lot if not for the heartbeat. I'm fretting a bit about not being able to feel movement, because the heartbeat just tells me there's a baby there! It doesn't say there's nothing wrong, and I wonder if it's very still in there.

As it is, I'm just feeling as if there must be something wrong because I don't look or feel at all pregnant and all the books keep telling me I should be now. And sad, because I feel like I'm not properly pregnant.

StiffyByng Sat 18-Dec-10 19:57:25

Sorry, written in haste as I had to sort out a children's row! I meant there MIGHT be something wrong, as my experience seems so at odds with everything I read. I have no signs of pregnancy at all - breasts the same, no changes to skin, nothing that makes me feel like it's real.

jinglebellssantasmells Sat 18-Dec-10 20:00:30

OP i dont feel pg either to be honest i know i am but my day to day life is no different and i dont feel any different, i think its only once u have a big bump permanently in the way that i start to feel really pg if u know wot i mean, however i do know how u feel and bcos of the way im feeling i am starting a pre-natal yoga class on tues im hoping it will give me an hour a wk to concentrate on my body and the baby inside

Sierra19 Sat 18-Dec-10 20:48:09

I am currently 29+2. I did not feel anything other than a few flutters until 26 ish (and this could have been mistaken for wind). I was reassured at my 20 week scan because I discovered I have an anterior placenta plus he was moving about ALOT, I just couldn't feel it. It was only really after my private 4d scan that I started feeling definite movement, and DH has barely felt anything even now. Like you, a Doppler kept me sane.

Sierra19 Sat 18-Dec-10 20:49:45

Plus, I didn't really get an obvious bump until about 24 weeks (am a size 16) and even now nit everyone notices depending on what I wear.

Yorkstar Sat 18-Dec-10 20:51:59

Ooh try to not worry, With my ds, i remember starting the new school term in september when i was 32/33 weeks pg and made some reference to the fact that i would be leaving in 5 weeks. Several pupils asked me why? I had a very neat bump, even at 9 months. Ds was born on due date weighing 6lb 13.

Am now 21 weeks with second and look about 7 months already this time around. Everything is already stretched i fear

bessie26 Sat 18-Dec-10 22:32:52

I only started feeling baby move around 20wks with both my pgs (think it depends where your placenta is?)

a friend of mine didn't even know she was pg until she was 6months gone, no bump, no kicking, nothing!

I am 24wks and couldn't fit into my favourite jeans today for the first time <sob> - am really looking fwd to going shopping for mat jeans in next week in all the snow & festive crowds <grump>

if you can hear the HB, then don't worry & stop reading the books if they are making you fret - they are probably all written to make the people who do get big feel better grin

1Catherine1 Sun 19-Dec-10 02:50:03

At my 20 week scan was the first time I really felt baby move without wondering "Was that just wind or my stomach wanting feeding?". At 21 weeks was when I started to feel her when I was lay on my back on the sofa (head and shoulders propped up on cushions). This might help you feel something but of course it won't help if you have an anterior placenta but you shouldn't be worrying about this.

Those books sound rubbish btw since every book I have picked up have stated quite clearly that most woman show a lot later in their first pregnancy. That means by 20 weeks pregnant you are unlikely to be showing for your first pregnancy. Of course some woman will be showing but it all depends on your body shape, your height, your weight and your general condition of your muscles and body. There is no hard and fast rule on when you should be showing by. I started consistently showing when I was about 25 weeks when my belly seemed to pop out and I was a size 14 pre-pregnancy. Before 25 weeks I occasionally looked pregnant and I think that depended on how baby lay.

StiffyByng Mon 20-Dec-10 23:59:35

Thanks, all. I think posting this thread may have guilted the baby into action, because I'm now feeling something I'm fairly sure is movement. I'm encouraging it like mad!

1Catherine1 Tue 21-Dec-10 02:20:42

I'n glad you're feeling baby move now. I am 27 weeks pregnant now and am also guilty of encouraging baby moving when I wonder if she is ok. I am currently lay on my back again waiting for her to start kicking after realising how little she has moved today - or more to the point how little I have felt her move today. Already felt 8 movements in 20 minutes so I'm feeling reassured, which we all need now and again.

diyqueen Tue 21-Dec-10 14:53:45

I felt the same before my 20 week scan - and it didn't help that people kept saying to me 'are you sure there's really a baby in there?!' as I didn't have much of a bump. I couldn't really feel the baby moving either - thought I might have a couple of times but wasn't sure... Then I had the 20 week scan and there was the baby. completely normal and wriggling and kicking like mad, though I still couldn't feel it! It's only in the last couple of weeks (I'm 27 weeks now) that I've been able to feel definite kicks, and though I have a little bump that's noticeable to me now, I don't think other people can really tell still! Hope you get the same reassurance from your scan in January.

Muser Tue 21-Dec-10 15:10:51

Don't worry! I think I had a bit of movement at that stage, but I promptly lost it due to anterior placenta. I know we were doing comparisons on my due date thread and everyone got movement at different times. Some people still don't get much and we're all at least 25 weeks ish now.

And on looking pregnant. There is a lady at my pilates class who is about 26 weeks now. Tall, very slim. You'd expect her to be massive already because really there's nowhere for a baby to hide. She looks like she's possibly eaten a big bowl of pasta. Maybe. If I didn't know she was pregnant I wouldn't have guessed.

People carry babies differently. I know at 20 weeks my "bump" was mostly just dinner.

Hooray for movement anyway. Good luck for your scan, I am sure it will be fine.

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