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Really need some advice..

(32 Posts)
Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 12:41:03

Hello, where do i start..

Went for 20 week scan on tuesday and was told my baby boy isnt growing properly, hes 2 weeks behind what he should be. So i had to go back to the hospital yesterday for another scan with a consultant.
She told me my heart is not pumping blood into my placenta properly, basically bloody is only going in when my heart is pumping out but should be a constant flow, which it isnt at the minute.
I was told my baby only has a 10% chance of survival at the minute and i was offered a termination there and then.
I refused as i really do have faith that he'll be ok.

Just want to know if anyone else has heard of or been through the same thing? Also want to know really how bad this is and if things could look up for him? Hes still kicking and wriggling around constantly so thats keeping me going at the minute but im worried sick cause i really dont know whats going to happen.

sh77 Fri 10-Dec-10 12:46:21

Really sorry you are facing this worry.

I suggest you contact Prof Kypros Nicolaides for an urgent second opinion. He is a world expert on fetal medicine. I had some worries about my 20 week growth scan at my hospital. His clinic is based on Harley Street in London. Scan should cost around 200 quid.

He will give you his honest opinion. He will also be able to suggest what to do next if there is a problem. You may be able to get a referral to his NHS clinic in LOndon but do try to get an app on Wed.

Call reception and they will book you in on Wednesday. He sees urgent cases on Wednesady.

I really hope all works out for you. Please update us.

sh77 Fri 10-Dec-10 12:53:17

Also, it would have been near impossible for scanner/doc to say that you have a 10 per cent chance given that you are half way there. If there really is a problem, you may get support to see you through to 24 weeks, where they might consider inducing you, so baby would be born prem. Movement is a very good sign.

Many people have babies who are small for dates and measure 2 weeks behind throughout.

Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 12:59:36

Thnkyou for your advice i will look into it.

They said that he will need to be 500 grams to survive outside of me but hes only 280 grams at the minute so i need to carry on as long as possible x

Amberc Fri 10-Dec-10 13:02:24

Blimey - no advice Charleney, just offering prayers that everything is OK. Definitely go for a second opinion.

Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 13:04:16

Thankyou Amberc

BlueChampagne Fri 10-Dec-10 13:12:51

Really feel for you and pray everything will be OK. Agree with earlier posters that movement is a good sign, and that a 2nd opinion is worth seeking. Two weeks out for growth doesn't seem so bad - maybe the dating scan wasn't accurate?

Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 13:16:26

Well thats what we thought that the dates were just wrong but thats not the problem.
Its that my placenta isnt getting enough bloody.
Blood is only going through when my heart is pumping out but it should be a constant flow.
I hope they are just being very causious cause i dont think my little man isnt giving up anytime soon x

sh77 Fri 10-Dec-10 13:17:10

I can't stress enough how amazing and experienced Nicolaides is. If you have financial difficulties, mention it.

pickgo Fri 10-Dec-10 13:24:52

Hi Charleney
Thro my own experience, DD's and friends (10 children in all) we have variously been told some quite devastating things by Drs/midWs, none of which turned out to be accurate.
DO insist your GP refers you to a second consultant for another opinion (you are entitled to that).
I think you were very wise in not being forced into an instant reaction/decision and I'm surprised your obstetrician would suggest termination there and then.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by waiting to see how things develop.
My prayers are with you.

faverolles Fri 10-Dec-10 13:30:29

Sorry you're going through this.

Can I second sh77's advice. I know a couple of people who had really low odds on their PG's, they went to see Kypros Nicolaides, and were given much better odds having seen someone so experienced.

Quite often, a hospital has little or no experience of a problem.

Hope it works out for you and your baby xx

Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 13:37:11

Thankyou everyone.
Pickgo you have just given me alot of hope

Its just i dont know if i could afford £200, ive been signed off sick for 2 weeks and i dont get paid for it so money is going to be tight to say the least.
I have to go back for another scan on 23rd of december.
I will speak to DP about asking for another opinion, i guess im just scared that they might tell me something worse.

sh77 Fri 10-Dec-10 13:40:28

They will take financial circumstances into account. He really is a decent human being - he isn't motivated by money. I have been through some v difficult preg circumstances and he offered to do my scan for free. So, give it a shot and see what they say.

Who advised termination - a MW or consulatnt?

Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 13:43:04

Thankyou Sh77, i will definately look into it then.

It was the consultant, i think thats what hurt the most.
But theres no way i was prepared to just give up, i would rather carry on and try everything i possibly can then whatever the outcome, at least i know ive tried.

Lulumaam Fri 10-Dec-10 13:48:22

the NHS should bve looking after you and following htings up.. i would call your consultant and ask for advice.. you have refused a termination, the NHS are obliged to care for you and offer treatment/monitoring/scans etc and management of labour should it occur due to your baby not making it..... you should not have to be finidng money for more scans/opinions

what were you advised when you declined the termination>

sh77 Fri 10-Dec-10 13:49:06

V surprised a consulatnt would say this given that no further tests were suggested (though you have been offered another scan). They have no way of evaluating how baby's growth is progressing without serial scans, which makes his/her suggestion of termination even more preposterous.

knackered76 Fri 10-Dec-10 13:53:44

No advice other then what has already been said above, just wanted to say how sorry I am you've been put into such a stressful situation The consultant sounds like a lovely one hmm, how ridiculous being offered a termination there and then. Very angry on your behalf at being treated like that. As pickgo says, I have had lots of friends be told lots of things and so far none of them have come true. Fingers crossed for you and your little man.

Lulumaam Fri 10-Dec-10 13:58:48

hang on, if the consultatn has seen the scan, is familiar with the problem and knows that on the whoel, there is a 90% chance the baby won;t make it, offering a termination, which would be booked at a time taht was appropriate is an option he should be offering.. there are certain conditions incompatible with life or that mean a pregnancy won;t reach term and a termination is necessary

what seems to be lacking is the follow up after the OP has declined the termiantion

Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 14:11:51

Well to be honest, i was so upset my DP had to go over everything afterwards with me about what she said cause the whole thing just seemed a blur.
She has proscribed me asprin to try and thin my blood to make it flow better but said it may be too late.
She also said that changing my diet i.e cutting out fatty foods, fizzy drinks, chocolate etc could also make a difference but other than that i just have to go back for another scan in 2 weeks time.
She also moaned when i started crying, telling me to be quiet or i wouldnt hear what she was saying, which obviously made me worse. I'm a very sensitive person at the best of times.
I think the termination was advised because she said that an early labour could occur or if i did miscarry i could haemorage.
This is most of what i remember, as i said, still a bit hazy and i feel more confused about the whole thing tbh.

sh77 Fri 10-Dec-10 14:14:00

lulu - i see your point. But shouldn't the consultant do his/her best to help her see the preg through to viability - 24 weeks/ 500g? The baby made it to 20 weeks and only 2 weeks behind on growth.

Lulumaam Fri 10-Dec-10 14:17:10

yes, and the consultant has prescribed aspirin, booked another scan and given other advice

she sounds quite abrupt and not very empathetic which is not at all pleasant or appropriate

if i was the OP< i would seek a second opinion from another consultatn within the hospital or ask for the care to be transferred to a different consultant as she does not feel confident in the care she is getting?

speaking to teh head of midwifery would be a good starting point for changing her carers.

the OP must be v distressed, but i thik needs to take steps to keep her care within the NHS rather than adding to her stress by paying for private care when money is short

millyjay Fri 10-Dec-10 14:25:16

Has anyone given you any idea of anything they can do to help your heart work better to pump the blood ?

Charleney Fri 10-Dec-10 14:26:41

Millyjay only taking asprin and changing my diet at the minute, i think because they dont know exactly what has caused it thats probably the most viable option.
Its hard though especially when im craving salty things constantly.. Ive just had to give away my box of pringles lol

sh77 Fri 10-Dec-10 14:34:05

Did they mention if you have the correct number of veins(1)/arteries (2) in the cord as this is what regulates blood supply to the baby?

LunaticFringe Fri 10-Dec-10 14:36:54

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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