Gulp

[Isserley]

Anyone else out there just been confirmed pregnant for the first time? I've just been to the doctor (I live in GMT +12 timezone) and had a positive test - finding it all hard to believe as I have PCOS, am not particularly young, and we have only been trying for a few weeks. Would love to hear anyone else's story. How do you feel? Am just feeling a bit numb at the moment, and don't really want to ring anyone until my partner gets back from work. Cheers guys :)

[AitchTwoOh]

CONGRATULATIONS!

[AitchTwoOh]

oh, not me btw. but i remember how i felt.

[Isserley]

Thanks heaps AitchTwoOh!! :)

[AitchTwoOh]

exciting times! enjoy your secret for the next few hours.

[Dalrymps]

I want to say congratulations too!
Again, I'm not pg but just wanted to wish you well. Quite normal to feel a bit numb at first, it's always a bit of a shock even if planned and doesn't seem real till you get a bit bigger and have more appointments etc.

So pleased for you!

[thecaptaincrocfamily]

Congratulations! I remember it well
dd1 my DH was away with a motorbike display team I phoned and the conversation went
'hi hun, you ok?'
'what, I can't hear you!'
me shouting; 'I'm pregnant!!'
then I hung up LOL!
Spoke a few hours later to confirm he had heard correctly

[Isserley]

Thanks to you both!

[OldLadyKnowsNothing]

Ah, it's a very long time ago for me (DS1 is nearly 24yo!) but yes, I remember the "Oh... ???" moment. To give him all due credit, DH just cheered!

(Our first month of trying, just after I'd come off the Pill...)

Oh, and congratulations!

[Isserley]

Thanks OLKN! Partner back from work now, and didn't exactly cheer tbh, but i think we will both get used to the idea. Getting quite excited about it now. :)

[spaceal]

Hi Isserley - I'm 38 and have PCOS too and we got pregnant extremely quickly too, much to our surprise. We had decided we'd try but hadn't really started. Because of the PCOS my periods were really irregular so we didn't even think to test for weeks! But we were both dead chuffed when the test was positive and I'm now 27 weeks

Congratulations and good luck!!

[moonbells]

I remember it well, too!

I'd had weird digestive problems/reflux for a few weeks, with odd pains, and it was just on a whim and a hunch that I decided to take a test as I'd got one in the cupboard. I left it in the bathroom and forgot it was there - half an hour later I picked it up, saw the cross shape and just said 'oh sh*t!'.

My DH was working in New York at the time. Had to wait until the following morning before he was up and on skype... so I have no idea what his face looked like at the news, which I'm quite sad about. I was 39, he 43 at the time and we'd been trying for 7 months. I thought it was pretty good going, given we'd not taken it for granted we could have one given my age.

Some friends who live in NY said DH went round the following day and was really excited. Just not to me!

[moonbells]

woops and congratulations :)

[bessyboop]

Congratulations! We've been TTC for the last few weeks as well, and am due a period over the weekend ... haven't done a test yet. So we'll see!
With DD1, I tried so many test (all positive!) I just wanted to make sure ... I couldn't belive it.
With DD2 I always had a faint line, and we had been trying for a long time. I had a night out with friends, got really drunk. During next few days I did a test again, and it was positive, with a really clear line I was over the moon.

[SuzieHomemaker]

Congratulations

My DCs are now at secondary school age but I still remember that 'Oh my god' feeling when I found out I was pregnant after 2 years TTC DC1.

[Isserley]

Thank you both and congratulations/all the best spaceal! After seeing the doc today I went to a clinic for an early scan to establish how far along I am, since we couldn't work that out from my v irregular periods. It turns out I'm only at a very early stage at the moment - like maybe 2/3 weeks - so I'm trying to stay realistic about how things could turn out. Great to hear everyone's stories :)

[Isserley]

Thanks Suzie!

[SantaIsMyLoveSlave]

Congratulations! I'm in the third trimester with DC3 but remember the "gulp" feeling well (hmm, actually am getting a little gulpy again myself thinking about having three children in a few months...)

I think recent research has suggested that with PCOS you tend to actually get more fertile as you get older (up to a certain point, obviously) rather than less fertile as most women do.

[thefurryone]

Congratulations!! I also have PCOS and some how managed to get pregnant 2 weeks before we decided to start trying properly rather than just wondering if it could happen on the off chance, so I know that shocked feeling.

It's really hard but definitely worth waiting till your OH gets back from work to share the news!

[Isserley]

Cheers Santa and furryone! that's really interesting about the PCOS research re getting older. I'd always just assumed PCOS would make it all but impossible to conceive - at least without ages trying. I was diagnosed with it in my early 20s (in about 2000) and vividly remember the doctor back then saying, 'I don't want to sound brutal but... ' before he told me about the fertility implications. Very glad he was mistaken!
It's getting a bit late here Down Under, so I'm off to bed now, thanks again everyone.

[ecuse]

Congratulations, Isserley!

I'm 31 and pregnant with my first which was not-quite-planned and I had exactly the same sort of moment.

I've got PCOS too, and my periods had got even more irregular (the last few had been between 7 and 10 week cycles). I'd had a few doctors tell me 'not to leave it too late' and had convinced my boyfriend that we should start thinking about trying soonish because it might take me ages to conceive. In fact, I'd been researching IVF on the internet the day I found out I was pregnant (I am a doom monger). We had agreed we would start trying 'in the next year or two' and in the meantime had started being more and more lax on using protection. But we were't really actively trying, more being blase because I thought we'd have to be taking temperatures, peeing on ovulation sticks and whatnot to actually conceive. Not so, it turns out.

We're about 6 months ahead of where I'd ideally like to be but I'm not complaining. Mostly because by the time the baby arrives we'll only just have paid off the gargantuan debts we ran up whilst I was doing a masters degree a couple of years ago. I would ideally have liked a few months to actually save up and possibly move house before the little one gets here, but these are just practicalities, and I know we'll manage.

As my wise old Dad says, there's never a perfect time, you'll never be 'ready' (even if you think you are). Everyone's shellshocked when their first child arrives, nobody quite knows what to do with them, and everyone muddles through, and we will too.

[happycamel]

Hi, congratulations.

I'm 23 weeks now and remember the "gulp" feeling well and we were trying!

Of course it's daunting, of course you don't feel ready (who does?), of course it's going to turn your world upside down. I don't know anyone who has regretted having a child though so it must be worth it.

In a way it's not bad to not get too emotionally involved for until the first scan though, just because not all babies make it (I m/c my first at 7 weeks). Not trying to scare you, just reassure you that the numb feeling isn't all bad.

As for your DP; it will take a while for the news to settle in. Mine has got a whole lot more enthusiastic now he's felt it kick. Before that I was whingy, ill, hormonal woman. Now I'm carrying the next England footballer and the most precious thing on the planet!

[Isserley]

Thanks ecuse and happycamel for your stories and encouragement! ecuse sounds like you are in quite a similar situation to me, I just turned 32 a few weeks ago - in fact that was when we started SWI. Like you, I was getting used to the thought of maybe having to get some help eventually. My boyf is freaking out a bit as we were thinking it would be well into the future before we'd actually be in this situation. Since it's so early on we've agreed we aren't going to tell anyone else for the next couple of weeks, though I'm dying to tell my mum, and really not sure what I'm going to do at the upcoming Christmas parties, since I'm usually a bit of an alky pretty keen for a beer/wine/anything going. Feeling less numb and more happy now. All the best everyone :)

[Isserley]

oops meant a bit of an alky !

[happycamel]

don't feel too worried about telling people. I didn't the first time then miscarried and felt really sad and struggled to get support because people didn't know what was wrong. When I did tell people why I was unhappy and off work my mum got offended I hadn't told her the good news before the bad and I felt sorry I was only sharing the painful bit.

This time we told people but made it clear it was early days. I found it really helpful that work colleagues were immediately more understanding about me being in a bit later in the mornings and mum was careful to be pleased but not overwhelmingly enthusiastic. Having been there I don't really understand the big taboo about not telling people or worrying about m/c, if it happens, it happens, it's nothing you did wrong and you need all the support you can get. Honestly, you wouldn't not tell people you'd passed your driving test in case you crashed!

Get on with enjoying and sharing your news over Christmas, people will look after you, not pressure you to drink or worry why you aren't, you won't have to lie to people when they ask you what's different and anyway you might be feeling a bit sick by then and in need of sympathy. If it's work parties or people you don't know well either be nominated driver or just tell them you've got a tummy bug (which isn't even lying, just a euphemism)

[SantaIsMyLoveSlave]

You see, that varies, happycamel. Not everyone feels that they need all the support they can get I've always preferred to deal with mc effectively between me and DH. And having to "un-tell" people who knew you were pregnant after a mc is unpleasant (even though we had agreed not to tell anyone, every time DH slipped and told a couple of people. And every time it was me who had to un-tell them). It's very much down to the individual although I agree, if there's someone whose support you would definitely need after a mc then there's no harm telling them about the pregnancy. Just there's nothing wrong with feeling that you'd rather deal with any possible mc without external support if that's more your sort of thing.