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For mums 2 be after m/c PART 3

(142 Posts)
bunny2 Mon 25-Aug-03 12:22:27

A new thread for all us nail-biting mums-to-be.

bunny2 Mon 25-Aug-03 12:25:35

We have an EPU (Early Pregnancy Unit) here, can I just turn up and beg for a scan? Katherine found her EPU very accommodating, does anyone else have any experience of these?

hewlettsdaughter Mon 25-Aug-03 18:16:09

It might be worth a try - can you ring them to see what they say? I was going to ask you what scans you'll be having. My doc told me that even if she referred me for an early scan I'd be refused because of not having had 3 miscarriages. Round here you get just one routine scan at 20 weeks (unless it's changed since I had ds, who's just turned 4). Seems a long time to wait...
At 5 weeks 3 days I am just starting to have symptoms. Was very emotional the other evening (hormones!) and my boobs are aching. Don't feel sick but then I didn't really get sick when I was pregnant with ds.
How is everyone else?

hewlettsdaughter Mon 25-Aug-03 18:17:41

Oh! Just worked out I'm 5 weeks 4 days (every day counts!)

bunny2 Mon 25-Aug-03 18:51:10

I know that feeling. I am 5 weeks and 2 days . HD, waiting till 20 wks is terrible. Where ru based? Also, I am sure the info in on a thread somewhere but pls tell me, at what stage were your m/cs? Mine was at @8 wks but picked up by a scan @14 wks.

MABS Mon 25-Aug-03 20:32:37

don't know if this helps at all but after 2 miscarriages i was 'allowed' an early scan at EPU - in fact i was recommended for one by gp. Sadly I did subsequently miscarry again.

In my next pregnancy they had me at the hospital every week from about 6 wks and scanned me more often than not. I expect it varies at different hospitals but this was in Brighton.

Best of luck to you all.

Ghosty Mon 25-Aug-03 21:04:54

Good plan to start a new thread bunny2 ... I had been thinking the same thing but didn't get round to doing it!
I wish I could give you advice about EPUs but I don't have any experience of them. In NZ it is up to the midwife or doctor you have whether they are sympathetic enough to refer you for a scan. For example when I got pg this time I asked my gp whether I could have a scan at 9 weeks (my baby had died at 8 weeks and I found out at 12 weeks when the m/c started) and she said there was no reason to. So I started ringing around the midwives and basically have ended up with the lovely lady who said that she had no problem referring me if I was worried. The whole system is different here ... I think it is better ... there is a lot more choice in what you can have in terms of antenatal care. Where I lived in the UK I would have been stuck with my gp and that would have been it!
HD ... I know how you feel about wanting the pg symptoms to kick in ... I felt the same and wished for morning sickness. I regretted it when it struck with a vengeance at almost 7 weeks but at least I felt that my body was doing everything in its power to sustain the pregnancy. By 16 weeks I had had enough of it and luckily now it is easing off ... have more good days than bad days.
In terms of scanning Bunny2 ... I think that there would be no point in scanning until 6 weeks at the very earliest as it is hard to see anything ... I have read somewhere on Mumsnet that some units don't scan until 8 weeks as by then they will definitely see a foetus.
Have decided that although I will not *diet* as such, I have to watch what I eat from now on ... I put on 4 stone with DS and became a life time member of Weight Watchers to shift it! I am already heavier at 17 weeks than I was at 17 weeks with him .... So I won't diet but I will cut out all unhealthy things and stock up on healthy stuff!!!
What a rambling post ... sorry ... just got up!!

hewlettsdaughter Mon 25-Aug-03 21:05:23

MABS, I think you're right about there being different policies in different places. I have had two m/cs, although they were both very early (ie at 4 and a half or 5 weeks). Both started with bleeding - I managed the first one by myself and went to the doctor about the second one. Didn't have a scan either time (presumably because they were so early). I'm in Oxford.

hewlettsdaughter Mon 25-Aug-03 21:08:35

Ghosty - we posted at the same time. Glad to hear your sickness is easing off. Can I ask if you are feeling more relaxed in your pregnancy now that you are past 12 weeks?

Ghosty Mon 25-Aug-03 21:22:17

HD ... I am more relaxed, definitely ... I began to feel better about it all after the 12 weeks scan. Although the sickness was unpleasant and very debilitating it was the only thing that kept me confident during those early weeks. In my last pregnancy I had bad morning sickness from 6 weeks that stopped overnight at 9 weeks ... the doctor said that that was a sign for me (but please don't think that no morning sickness is a bad sign for you .... everyone is different ...) as it had started so violently and stopped so suddenly.
So this time everyday that I continued to bond with the toilet I was happy (although miserable IYKWIM!!! )
I have just gone over 17 weeks and I am beginning to believe that I am pregnant ... the maternity clothes were a sign of that ... I should have got some stuff ages ago but I just couldn't face it.
Of course the worry never ends ... not like the first time I was pg when I just sailed through ... not a care in the world ... the next stage is the anomaly scan which is in 2 weeks .... am looking forward to it but am scared at the same time!
I so sympathise with you two Bunny and HD ... just take each day at a time ...

wiltshire Tue 26-Aug-03 18:30:36

Early Pregnancy Units are starting to be introduced all over UK. I know that the one I attended in London only opened 4 years ago and the one in Southend only 2 years ago. It is soooo worth phoning your hosp and asking if they have one. In both that I have been too, you didn't need to be referred by gp. So try ringing and making appt. Also I think they like to wait until you are 6 weeks as there is something more definite to see. And if you don't get any joy at your local hosp, could you try ringing one in another area and see if they'll help. Good luck.

hewlettsdaughter Tue 26-Aug-03 19:47:14

Ghosty, Wiltshire, thanks for your messages. It's nice to know you're feeling more relaxed now Ghosty. I've googled to see if there's an Early Pregnancy Unit here but I don't think there is. There's a recurrent miscarriage clinic "usually limited to women who have suffered at least three early pregnancy losses". I might try and find out if the first (and only) routine scan I'll be offered is still 20 weeks and if it is, see if I can go about getting one before then. It's a bit of a lottery, this healthcare business isn't it?

bunny2 Tue 26-Aug-03 20:39:33

HD, if you cant get a scna (keep on asking, they can always make an exception), the heartbeat should be heard through a midwifes thingy(??!) from 12 weeks. This should provide some reassurance.

hewlettsdaughter Tue 26-Aug-03 20:51:10

Oh, thanks bunny2, I'd forgotten that. When is your first routine scan offered? Do you think you'll wait or try and get one before?

bunny2 Tue 26-Aug-03 20:54:45

I'll try and get one for @ 8 weeks if I can - on the grounds I lost a baby at 8 weeks. If not then I'll have to wait till 11 weeks for a nuchal fold scan. Isnt the waiting unbearable. I'm obsessively ticking off the days.

hewlettsdaughter Tue 26-Aug-03 21:02:52

Me too. I just want to go to sleep and then wake up in a few weeks' time and have got through this first bit. Is it usual to have a nuchal fold scan these days?

bunny2 Wed 27-Aug-03 08:49:13

Here in Bournemouth, Nuchal fold scans are given, on request, to any expectant mum of 37 (I think) and older. I am 37 so will probably opt to have one. Dh and I have both agreed that we wouldnt terminate our baby if diagnostic tests showed an abnormailty but I would still like to know.

splash Wed 27-Aug-03 15:28:30

hd and bunny 2 thanks for introducing me to this site. it wasn't the sort of thing i was thinking, if that makes sense. i am sorry to hear about your past miscarriages and you ghosty.
women all feel the same dont they! last night i spoke to dh and voiced my concerns of lack of symp and asked him if he thought i was nuts about my plans to ring up the midwife (before she contacted me- you know how long they take) and beg her to get me an early scan. the gp has requested one, but i have too wait for her to pick it up so she can book one. dh said do it,if i felt worried. this morning iwoke up to find appointment for consultant on friday, so iwill wait now.
i was nearly 19 weeks when i found out last time. the funny thing was the only way that i knew was that i thought i had felt the baby move about 15 weeks for a few times and then nothing. then i had odd movements that i wasnt sure if was wind or baby movements. i called the midwife just over 18 weeks to check it out she came to see me and found no heartbeat. i had just seen the midwife at 15-16 weeks. it must of died just after the appt. the hardest thing for me was knowing that the baby died and i had not known. i could not help in any way. then i carried it around for another few weeks not even knowing. if i had not had a baby before i would of carried it a lot longer not knowing about the baby movements.
then they made me have my baby if things were not bad enough. this is when things became badly wrong and this is why i am getting an apt with consultant so early.
anyway i will never forget my dear baby. i am trying to be positive now, i have bought some preggy magazines already.good luck to us all mums to be!

pie Wed 27-Aug-03 15:54:22

Hey peeps...

so we're on the 3rd thread huh??? That makes me feel like I've been pregnant forever...

As I'm 34 weeks now I've been buying stuff, cot, pushchair etc. And then laying awake all night thinking that I've jinxed it all and that something will go wrong now...does the worry ever stop???

I've have a stomach bug all week and end up in hysterical tears when the baby doesn't move for a while, thinking that she is sick too...

I'm more worried now than I was at the beginning.

Sorry to be all crap, just been feeling so low.

Katherine Wed 27-Aug-03 17:05:30

Oh Pie - just think of it as the 3rd thread for the 3rd trimester - you are very nearly there now and I know you've had a hell of a journey but not long to go now. Big hugs.

hewlettsdaughter Wed 27-Aug-03 19:43:30

Hi all. Good to see you here, Splash (well, not good that you lost your last baby, but you know what I mean). I was very sorry to hear what happened to you. How long ago was it? Do you feel reassured that you will be under a consultant and should get an early scan? I hope it will help.
Pie - sorry you are feeling low. I have read that you are currently in a wheelchair because of SPD. That must be really hard. Do you have a child already, or will this be your first?

pie Wed 27-Aug-03 20:08:46

Hi hewletts, this is will be my second DD. I already have a terror who is 4 and has taken the whole wheelchair thing quite badly. At one point she kept calling the baby bad as she has made mummy sick and mummy can't take her to school etc....Its been a long summer holiday.

Katherine, thanks for the words, feel all weepy now Nice weepy rather than bad weepy.

This thread is great, its good to see people living in hope again, if that makes any sense.

bunny2 Wed 27-Aug-03 21:27:48

Hi Pie, you're so nearly there, I'm just starting and cant wait to be 34 weeks . Hope you start to feel a bit better soon.

Ghosty Thu 28-Aug-03 02:36:31

Poor pie ... more hugs coming your way from me ... {{{{{{{{{{{{}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} Only 6 weeks to go ....
What's happening on the birth front? I haven't caught up with your thread about c/s and SPD ... will you have a c/s do you think? What's the latest ...?
I have been crying for about 3 days now ... nothing to do with the pregnancy ... everything is fine and I am happy and all but I am feeling really homesick and want to see my parents ... feel homesick a lot really but it is pretty bad at the mo because of hormones ...
I want my mummy!

bunny2 Thu 28-Aug-03 09:31:25

Oh Ghosty, sorry to hear you're down aswell. Will you be coming back for a visit? Or are your parents planning to visit you? I know when I lived in Spain I missed my Mum terribly, we are not even that close, in fact we get on each others nerves but I still missed her.

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