Pregnant?

[KatieScarlett2833]

I am wondering if I could be pregnant. DH and I are devout catholics and in order to avoid pregnancy he does it up my bum.

My friends say it is unlikely, but I've been peeing a lot lately and have started craving rhubarb, just like when I was pregnant with DS6.

Please help.

[Jareth]

lols

[tomhardyismydh]

you need to do a test

[whomovedmychocolate]

Hmm rhubarb. That is interesting. No custard I take it....just the rhubarb.

[KatieScarlett2833]

I would, tomhardy but when I shit I keep missing the stick. It has cost me £100 this week on clearblue and I'm still none the wiser.

[DuelingFanio]

test.

[whomovedmychocolate]

I'd tell you to sod off but you may just take me up on it

do the test.

[tomhardyismydh]

i read that as duvet catholics.

wonder what a duvet catholic looks like

[KatieScarlett2833]

Yes whomoved, rhubarb. Custard(o) makes me vom.

[AnyFuleKno]

have you tried sticking it up your arse?

[Showaddywaddy]

Mmmmmm rhubarb.

Sorry, what was the question?

[tomhardyismydh]

op you can get one of those specimine pots from the gp. please get

put your mind st rest you poor thing.

is he forcing you to participate in such demonising acts?

[Preggersplayspop]

Yes, I think you probably are. The same thing happened to my friend and her triplets are now 13!!

[whomovedmychocolate]

Are you suggesting she sticks rhubarb up her arse anyfule?

[whomovedmychocolate]

[KatieScarlett2833]

No, how will that help me discover if I am enceinte? Stop being so mean AnyFuleKno, I have no-one else to turn too, and you are making me feel as though I shouldn't be here. If I was MN Royalty, you'd be helping me through this difficult time, but no, you just mock. Your just like my school bully, Jasmine McCleary, what a bitch. She got genital warts in the end and quite frankly they were too good for her.

[AnyFuleKno]

no - get the clearblue digital, stick it up your arse. Not only does it tell you how many weeks pregnant you are but whether you have too much fibre in your diet.

[KatieScarlett2833]

I can't get out cos the weatherman says it might snow over the weekend and if I get stuck, who is going to love my children? Anyway I've already blown the tax credits on fags and pocketed the Housing Benefit on my 9 bed house. The daily mail is coming round tomorrow to do a nice feature on our family. They marvel how DH and I cope on benefits and want to share our secrets with their readers. Do you think they'd sub me a clearblue digital?

[whomovedmychocolate]

Jezza will have you on and do a test on air I'm sure. He'll even put you all up in a hotel and buy you a babycham from the mini bar.

[KatieScarlett2833]

Who is this Jezza? Will I have to show him my ming in return for the babycham?

[tomhardyismydh]

is this your house

[KatieScarlett2833]

And the one next door. The council are putting in an extension to join them together.

[tomhardyismydh]

well you are entitled to it

[KatieScarlett2833]

Well, not according to Dave n (Pr)Nick. According to Dave DH will have to stop claiming the sick and work up a chimney to get the dole. I wouldn't mind but he's a bit tubby and I worry that he would get stuck.

[Loubilouu]

Okayy... the comments on here are actually making me think.... is this is a joke??

Ummm if your preg wouldnt you take the test normally? like piss on the stick?? :S
im actually kind of confused by reading this?

is it for real or are you all just taking the mic?

[KatieScarlett2833]

It's snowing sideways, still, means I'll get another cold weather payment. That's the fuel bill for this winter sorted!