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what will my girl think when baby arrives????!!

(8 Posts)
mummyworries Thu 25-Nov-10 09:45:36

im a little worried even though my little girl cant wait for her little sister to arrive. she is four and a half but im worried that she will feel pushed out when she has to go to school each morning and im at home with the baby. she and daddy are gonna stay with grandma whilst im in hospital we decided so grandma can help with the school morning runs etc, and then they are only down the road from the hospital.am i over worring already? please some advice would be so comforting lol xhmm

CrazyPlateLady Thu 25-Nov-10 09:59:03

I'm worrying about the same thing too.

DS is only 2.9 now, will be 3 when his sister arrives, which he seems excited about. But when DD is about 12 weeks, he will be starting nursery. I am hoping he isn't going to feel pushed out. Also don't want him to feel pushed out by other people he gets attention from now who are going to want to see the new baby.

I keep feeling guilty for 'putting' this on DS. Which I know is daft.

GretnaGirl Thu 25-Nov-10 10:16:48

Me too, my DS will be 3 when baby arrives in April and he is due to start nursery the week baby is due. I'm going to pay for him to go for a few sessions before then so that it doesn't feel like "baby is here and I'm shoved off to nursery"
I've felt very guilty about having another baby which I know is silly because I wouldn't be without my brother and I partly decided to have another child so that DS wouldn't be an only child!!
The best thing is we're aware of how they may feel so we can do everything we can to make them feel included and special. At 4 1/2 your DD can be a big help to you and you can make her feel important as big sister and Mummy's special helper. Good luck! x

LisasCat Thu 25-Nov-10 11:56:56

Mine isn't due until June, by which time DD will have just turned 4. I've spent the past year getting her ready for this, talking about how lovely it is for her friends at nursery when they have a baby bro/sis, focusing on how good it is for them, never talking about the baby. Fortunately she now has a best friend living next door who has a baby brother, so she has now decided she definitely needs to get herself one of those (not sure if a sis will be acceptable!).

I'm approaching this looking at all the positives - she's going to be old enough to be mummy's little helper, she's also old enough to be quite a different 'creature' to a baby and therefore require different things of me (I'm not sure how true that is, but it feels like it makes sense in my brain), and so not competing for the same things as a baby.

I'm also making the pregnancy very much about her. When we tell people in her presence, we won't be saying "we're having a baby" but "DD is going to be a big sister". I'll ask people to make a big fuss out of her, for 'her news'. I'll keep emphasizing the things about this that are going to be good for her - you get a baby to play with with, you can choose some clothes for it which is just like shopping for dolly clothes, etc, etc.

I don't know if these are going to work, having not done most of them yet, but they're my suggestions for this one.

LisasCat Thu 25-Nov-10 11:58:56

Oh and a friend had her DS 'arrive' with a teddy for his big sis, who was 2 at the time. That was 14 years ago and that teddy is still one of her most treasured possessions, because it was the first ever thing here baby bro gave her.

I'm not sure it'll work with mine, because she never forms particularly strong attachments to her toys, but it's worth a try.

CrazyPlateLady Thu 25-Nov-10 19:45:39

My baby is arriving with a truck from Cars that DS is really after. Baby will score major brownie points for that one. grin

We were in a shop recently and DS pointed to a pink teddy with a blanket and asked if he could buy it for his sister. No prompting from us at all. Of course we let him and he will bring it to the hospital when he comes in.

I have also heard that mummy not holding the baby when older sibling comes in is a good thing.

flowerfairy Fri 26-Nov-10 14:46:02

It is a worry for me. My Ds will be almost 7 when baby arrives and he's very excited at the moment, but i can't help feeling that he will miss someof the attention/cuddles that he has now because he has no one to compete with. I think you're right lisa's cat that he will require different things to the baby and sometimes think he will be a bit of sanity when he comes home from school too. He's quite independnet too and i keep trying to add little bits of responsibilty before the baby arrives- eg he has to pack his own bag for school in a morning, dry himself after swimming, etc. So he doesn't suddenly feel like i've thrust alot of responsibilty all at once.

hazchem Fri 26-Nov-10 15:03:07

I was nine when my brother was born. I remember my dad saying before he arrived that when the baby arrived there was going to be more love. That he would love the baby but that wouldn't mean he loved me any less but in fact there was more love so he could love me more. It's something that has stuck with me.
I was also involved in lots of preparation before hand- I showed anyone that would listen how to fold a nappy and then how to change a baby. I remember reading several books about diffrent nappy folding styles and running them all past my parents with recomendations.

Now i think about it i was a pretty weird kid and you all probably have much more sane children!

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