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nervous about telling my parents

(11 Posts)
jillamona Wed 24-Nov-10 16:21:33

has anyone else had some problems breaking their good news to their families? although i am now delighted to be pg, it wasn't planned and I live a long way away from my family so see them rarely. i am going home this weekend and am 11 wks so going to tell my family then. its not like i don't think that eventually they'll be pleased with the news, just it might be a bit of a shock at first as I am still in college and they don't know my partner that well and we're not married. i've had time to figure out how we'll cope, i'm planning on deferring my final year in college, for example, but i'm just afraid that initially my parents might be disappointed as they are so proud of me being in college. any advice on breaking the news so that they'll be as happy as i am? thanks x

Boo81 Wed 24-Nov-10 16:46:39

Hello Jillamona. Firstly congratulations!

I was in a similar situation. My pregnancy was unplanned, I live a long way from home and my parents had never met my boyfriend. I brought him home to meet them when I was about 8/9 weeks. I let everyone get to know eachother and about 3 or 4 hours later we broke the news to my parents. They were naturally shocked but happy for us once they realised how trilled me were.

Its a parents job to worry about you so theres not much you can say or do to pre-empt that. But I did find that us having all in plans in place about where we were going to live, how much time I was going to take off work, etc helped to ease their nerves somewhat. Its sounds like you have a good plan in place in deferring college for a year so that should help.

Good luck!

Boo81 Wed 24-Nov-10 16:50:48

P.S. I also told them after dinner when they had consumed a couple of glasses of wine. I'm sure that took the edge off

PipPipPip Wed 24-Nov-10 17:21:24

Hi Jillamona,

my theory is that people 'mirror' your emotions about pregnancy.

So if you say "I've got some fantastic news... I'm pregnant! Woohoo!" they'll be happy for you, because you are happy.

But if you say "Oh. My. God. I can't believe I'm pregnant." people will worry and say "oh shit, are you okay?"

So if you are happy about the news, let them know it. After all, most parents just want to know that their kids are happy.

But I also agree with Boo81 - they'll definitely worry, that's their job.

It might be worth letting them know that you HAVE thought about money, college, time off, housing, your relationship etc. It is okay to admit that it wasn't planned. Give them time.

But I reckon all parents come 'round pretty quickly, once the realise there's a lovely, cuddly grandchild at the end of it.

Good luck and congrats

jillamona Wed 24-Nov-10 22:02:13

thanks for both your comments, i know they'll be happy in the end they'll just be surprised is all like i was when i first found out! thanks again x

LynetteScavo Wed 24-Nov-10 22:05:00

I'd phone them first, and let them get used to the idea before you turn up at the week end.


jillamona Wed 24-Nov-10 22:12:59

i know what you mean and have thought of that but really don't want to tell them over the phone, i think they'll worry less if i'm there in person and they can see that i'm happy and healthy. would love to just send them an email in a way!

Kiki84 Thu 25-Nov-10 10:04:27

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo Thu 25-Nov-10 19:26:12

Congratulations, by the way.

All every parent really wants is their child to be happy. If you show them you are happy, they will be too.

gallicgirl Thu 25-Nov-10 19:42:03

Just remember that once they get over the shock they'll (probably) be overjoyed that you are presenting them with a grandchild.

JimmyChoo17 Thu 25-Nov-10 20:30:16

My worry with telling my parents the first time was admitting to my dad we had sex lol! You should know that I was 27 and had been with my hubby for 12 years at the time! Im sure he guessed but still....I hated having to tell him that hee hee!

My mums not the most maternal and said a load of things that made me not want to tell her anything again! I lost little bean and this time round my dad guessed something was up and I was worried I was losing it a couple of weeks ago when he asked what was up I told him I was expecting again - I did it by text as I couldnt discuss it as was so worried I was losing My mum was just as much of a nightmare as before and said some nasty things about how I couldnt carry a baby (I have had 2 previous losses nothing I could have done)

In your situation I like PipPipPip's post. IF you sound happy and confident about it they should mirror it. They will worry but all good parents should - its their job (u'll find that one out soon enough!)


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