Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

oh my god I cant cope with work anymore

(12 Posts)
Filibear Tue 23-Nov-10 16:08:21

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Filibear Tue 23-Nov-10 16:08:53

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

GretnaGirl Tue 23-Nov-10 18:35:42

Filibear I just wanted to say how sorry I feel for you. I have read the older thread and my heart sinks for you. I have been off work sick for 9 weeks and my work have been lovely. I felt awfully guilty but what I have realised is that I'm not indespensible! If you aren't there then someone else will have to pick up the slack. They are treating you awfully and it sounds like a few people are actually taking severe advantage of you. How many weeks are you and how long til mat leave starts? If your blood pressure goes any more with this stress then you will get ill and then work will not be an option at all. Have you tried showing how stressed/upset you are at work or are you being brave and trying to put a brave face on it? You MUST put yours and babies health first and if your colleagues don't understand this then you may have to go higher, even if it makes for a bad atmosphere, it doesn't sound like it could get much worse for you anyway. Good luck this week, try and put your foot down and make it very clear that you are under pressure and people need to back off or help. x

ArrietyClock Tue 23-Nov-10 20:50:09

Firstly, this is not your problem. In the absence of your line manager, it is the responsibility of your line manager's line manager, or whoever has been given responsibility for your line managers duties in their absence. Who is that person? Make an appointment to see them, take your work plan that was agreed, take a list of all the other stuff, and get them to work out a new plan with you, or agree that you are sticking to the original plan. During the meeting be absolutely clear how much you can get done given the hours available. Do not be tempted to be all charitable and take the 'I'll see what I can do' line. Before you leave inform whoever it is (don't ask them, tell them!) that 1) you will be referring anyone who is not happy to the manager in question and that 2) any new requests will be dealt with only after consultation with that manager, and that you and said manager will then have to agree what else gets dropped. Be absolutely clear with that manager exactly what has been going on, stuff sitting on desks since June etc. etc., and that while you do and are prepared to work hard, that you are NOT prepared to carry the can for everyone else's disorganisation. It might also be worth pointing out that continuation of your current stress levels will result in nothing getting done as the Dr is likely to sign you off, but be careful how you play this card as the last thing any manager wants to feel is that they are being (sort of) blackmailed, even if you aren't. You want them on side, giving support.

If you get no help, don't hesitate to go to the next person up the line. They are being paid to manage. Oh, and in the interim while you are awaiting your appointment, should you get any new requests, your standard response should be to ask for details, explain that you have a meeting planned to work out your priorities, and that you will get back to them when you know IF you are able to undertake their work. If they argue, just continue to reiterate that you cannot give any definite answers prior to the meeting. Repeat ad infinitum in a bored tone, or say 'OK, got to get on ro nothing will get done. I'll be in touch' and hang up! Don't get drawn into discussion. It's pointless and will just add to your stress.

Is that any help?

japhrimel Tue 23-Nov-10 21:01:14

TBH I'd see your GP and get signed off with pregnancy related, stress induced illness. Unless you're already 36 weeks they can't force you to start ML early and if they're being unreasonable, why should you put both your health at risk for them?

ArrietyClock Tue 23-Nov-10 21:23:18

Good grief. Just read my own post and it sounds horribly bossy! I was thinking off the top of my head what I would do or would probably expect a member of staff to try and do. I had a (non-pregnancy related) problem at work once where everyone was assuming I was going to take responsibility for some big stuff and no way was I going to. I had to push hard, but insisted that someone at the appropriate grade made the decisions, not me. Anyway, it's just thoughts to mull over, not the list of instructions it's come across as..... Sorry.

I'm sure you'll get it resolved one way or the other, and hey, you're having a baby and that's your priority.

NewbieT Tue 23-Nov-10 21:42:03

I think that's excellent advice from ArrietyClock! Definitely escalate up, it's not your problem, it's the management who need to find a way to get the work done without you getting more put on your plate beynod what's already been agreed.

YogaMummy2B Tue 23-Nov-10 22:23:56

The deadlines for these pieces of work that have been hanging around since the summer cannot all of a sudden be due now?!
Surely the work can wait until the people in question are trained on the computer system to allow them to input the work themselves, pass back to them. Are they senior to you in the office?
This is not your issue it is theirs and if there is any fall out they should be held accountable, therefore I would try to relax, safe in the knowledge that you are meeting all deadlines set by your line manager.
All previous advice seems sound, look after yourself, your health and that of the baby is the most important thing here.

Filibear Wed 24-Nov-10 09:43:08

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ArrietyClock Wed 24-Nov-10 13:10:49

Great. Hope it goes really well. And remember, you hold the trump card (BABY!).

Filibear Mon 29-Nov-10 13:54:04

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Shelbee Mon 29-Nov-10 14:33:04

Hi, I didnt want to just read this and not respond, because I feel so awful for you. Having this sort of stress at work, and being taken advantage of, is bad enough when you aren't pregnant, so I can't imagine how much you must be struggling.

I dont know whether you have already done this / been advised to do this, but please make sure that you are keeping a note of everything that happens and every conversation that you have around this. Make sure that it isn't emotional at all - just the plain facts and date each one. You aren't being supported at all and if this escalates, it will put you in a really good position if you have all the facts, dates and evidence to hand. If you aren't meeting your deadlines or clearing your to-do list, you want to have all the evidence of why ready and at hand, and details of everyone that you flagged this to and who didn't act on it - just so that no one can accuse you of shirking your own responsibilities.

If this really is all getting too much, I would suggest going to your doctor and maybe getting yourself signed off until your maternity leave - it can't be doing you any good at all to be in this situation. Just make sure that before you go, you do have everything down in writing and clear in your head as it is so easy to forget details and chronology of these things. Good luck...

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: