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Feeling like I can't cope.

(14 Posts)
chocolatestar Sat 20-Nov-10 23:30:11

I am 30 weeks and just feel totally overwhelmed. I have a ds who is 3 and work full time as a secondary teacher. I teach drama so it is all very practical. School is also badly understaffed due to cuts so am getting a lot more cover than we had this time last year.

I am finding it hard to sleep and just feel so exhausted as a result. I feel sick when I get tired and the last few days when I am walking about I get tummy cramps.

Dh has been great but he is in his 4th year at uni and under a lot of stress with exams and final projects.

I just feel done in and I have five weeks left of work to go. This is just a moan really as somehow I will have to keep going.

grumpypumpkin Sat 20-Nov-10 23:33:45

Hi Chocolate- Congratulations!!
But those last weeks seem to feel like forever dont they.

Should you take a few days sick leave in view of the sickness and tummy cramps? You have to put yourself first, especially as nothing else is likely to improve. The end is in sight! Just got to plan how you will manage these last few weeks.

pinkyp Sat 20-Nov-10 23:33:50

I have a 3 yr ds and i'm 39 weeks,ihave no advice but lots of sympathy its VERY hard / exhausting! I have a dh but he does long hours so not much help unless its his days off etc.

chocolatestar Sat 20-Nov-10 23:41:13

I had wondered about taking a couple of days off. It's really hard for me to be off though. I am the only drama teacher so have to organise work for classes and I feel guilty leaving them too. Actually quite anxious about the amount of bugs in school right now though. Lots of teachers off with d&v bugs.

grumpypumpkin Sat 20-Nov-10 23:45:33

You really have to prioritise your health over your work commitments though. Perhaps you could work from home or send some work for them to do? You could take Mon and Tues and then review the situation on Weds? It sounds like you are very concientious but you need to look after that bump!

Bearsinthenight Sat 20-Nov-10 23:56:09

Better a few planned days off than you bowing out early because you've completely overdone yourself.

Everything can and will be sorted. Now is a good time to have a few days off, try and get some sleep, eat well, do NOTHING at all but rest and Mumsnet wink and hopefully you can then finish your work prior to going on mat leave with a successful healthy flourish.

chocolatestar Sun 21-Nov-10 07:04:12

You are making total sense and I would give the same advice to someone else. Not sure why it is so hard to take! I have a lovely line manager and don't want to let her down I guess. Also not sure what I would actually say is wrong with me other than I just generally feel crappy.

suzym1984 Sun 21-Nov-10 10:06:18

Chocolatestar, I dont know if you have seen any of my other posts, but I am feeling EXACTLY the same! I am 29 weeks and a primary teacher and finding it very hard to cope at work. I spend all day feeling sick and dizzy and then come home to find that I cant it starts all over the next day!
On th advice of the lovely mumsnetters I have had a week off sick and am considering taking another week. I feel so much better at home sting and eating whenever I want.
I know it's hard (teacher guilt is the worst!) but in 10 weekstime you will have your baby and wont give any time off work a scond thought!
Also, if you go to the docs make sure that and sicknotes say 'pregnancy related' and then it doesnt count on your record and you wont have to explain yourself at work.

bessie26 Sun 21-Nov-10 21:01:14

sounds like you need some time off - as someone else said, in a few weeks time you'll have your baby & you won't give work a second thought, so don't fret about it too much now!

one thing it might be worth checking before you take off any sick leave... at my work, if I take ANY pregnancy-related sick leave too close (4weeks?) to my EDD/start of mat leave (can't remember which one) then my mat Leave will start automatically! So double check the rules, and perhaps have a tummy-bug rather than anything pregnancy related if need be.

chocolatestar Sun 21-Nov-10 23:19:52

Thank you all, plan to stay home tomorrow at least. Thinking about going to see the dr but not sure what to say.

We have that rule about maternity too but the date I have been given is the 26th of dec so have a bit of time yet.

chocolatestar Mon 22-Nov-10 14:40:12

The Dr signed me off for two weeks. I wasn't expecting that. Not totally sure what to do. Part of me just wants to take it, it would be such a relief. Another part of me feels like I am being a total pain in the ass and unfair on the people I work with.

bessie26 Mon 22-Nov-10 14:48:47

think of it as good practice for them for while you are off on mat leave!

enjoy your rest - make a cup-o-tea, put your feet up & read a book - you won't be able to do that in a few weeks time! grin

MrsPennyLane Mon 22-Nov-10 14:57:42


You need to look after yourself and bump. I've had to have time off due to severe morning sickness and I felt so guilty- but you cannot help feeling ill and shattered, you are pregnant.

You are not being unfair to the people you work with- your doctor has signed you off as they think you need it and are unfit for work. I agree with the other poster who said if you carry on pushing yourself you may need to take your maternity leave early, so surely it's best to give yourself the time off now and see how you go? I would phone your line manager and explain the situation, saying that your doctor has signed you off work and that you will keep them informed of your progress.

Congrats by the way smile and take care!

chocolatestar Mon 22-Nov-10 21:14:19

Thank you, I am feeling less shitty about taking it now and getting to
Christmas feels manageable now.

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