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terrified of being pregnant, help

(15 Posts)
nomorebooze Mon 11-Oct-10 13:46:10

Hi mumsnetters! does anyone know of any good books to help calm my sister down shes terrified of being pregnant. She feels sick at the thought of something growing inside her! wont talk about it!!!!! shes a bit of a drama queen anyways but im worried about her mental state. She wont even look at the pregnancy book the doc gave her as she feels sick and faint even talking about it! Any advice??????????

knackered76 Mon 11-Oct-10 13:50:27

Apparently it's not as uncommon as you think, something like 1 in 20 women suffer from this. My husband had a colleague who was the same and she had regular counselling on the NHS to help her through the pregnancy. Although it didn't go away she certainly was able to cope a lot better with it. Maybe get her to tell her doctor and ask for counselling as it's unlikely to go away by itself and I'm not sure a book will help at the moment if she's that terrified of it. Hope she manages to sort something out to help her cope.

TheMulledBloodsOnMe Mon 11-Oct-10 13:54:44

The reality might be quite different to what she is expecting. She has live organs in her body, beating away, doing there job without any input or direction from her. Her heart, lungs, stomach all move and work and growing a baby is similar to this. It just feels a part of you. Would thinking about it like this help? It sounds like she has been traumatised by something to do with foetus's, pregnancy, labour etc to make her feel this way. She would probaby benefit from counselling.

nomorebooze Mon 11-Oct-10 14:49:44

thanks guys! i agree counselling would be good but she refuses to talk about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! will try approaching again but i risk her going even more inwards. she wouldnt even touch my belly when i was pregnant, she thought it was wrong?????????? nearly passed out when i talked about labour etc etc.........

TheMulledBloodsOnMe Mon 11-Oct-10 18:40:10

Is she pregnant or actually planning to be? If not then I don't see how it is a problem.

thisisyesterday Mon 11-Oct-10 18:41:14

why did she get pregnant then????

or isn't she? in which case, why does it matteR?

nomorebooze Mon 11-Oct-10 21:12:53

pregnant hmm

TheMulledBloodsOnMe Mon 11-Oct-10 21:24:06

I think she's just going to have to deal with it then, it all happens so gradually that she will get used to it. She'll have to!

thisisyesterday Mon 11-Oct-10 21:27:26

was it accidental or planned?
if accidental i can see why she would be even more freaked out by it, having not had a chance to think about it all beforehand

anyway, she needs to talk to her midwife about it, they should have a mental health team she can speak to.
we have a maternal mental wellbeing service which the midwife can refer you to direct, if she asks there might be something similar in her area

PaigeTurner Mon 11-Oct-10 21:49:03

Um, I wouldn't have wanted to touch anyone elses' belly when they were pg thanks very much... and also when I first conceived, I was freaked out by the thought of something moving around inside me - that's normal isn't it? Fear of the unknown? My friend told me it felt like a half-dead fish flapping around... so I don't think everyone thinks it's all kittens and puppies.

But like the others have said, would be good for her to speak to someone perhaps.

lou19 Mon 11-Oct-10 23:33:02

I think there is an actual name for this- it's a phobia that some people have. Was reading about in Grazia I think a few weeks ago...the woman in this interview was exactly the same as your sister, had panic attacks just thinking about the labour and found it hard to bond with the baby...eventually she had it diagnosed by her GP and met with a consultant who agreed to an elective cesarean- since then she said she's relaxed a lot more as she knows she won't have to give birth. your sister might be more willing to discuss it if she knows that other people go through the same thing. she probably feels very guilty right now because she feels crap about being pregnant, that might be why she wont talk about it?if I find that article I'll tell you where to find it, might be worth writing to Grazia magazine to ask them about it?Good luck!

knuckingfackered Mon 11-Oct-10 23:36:59

tocophobia, poss mispelt

1Catherine1 Mon 11-Oct-10 23:50:21

She can't do nothing. Regardless of how she feels. As other MNers have said she needs to talk to someone and her GP or midwife would be a good start.

Personally I find the more I know about something the less scary it becomes so for this reason I've read more books on pregnancy than I have on any other subject. The best book I have read although it is quite enormous is "YOU! Having a baby", I've had it out from the library now for nearly 6 months (I got it when ttc and yes, I should probably just buy myself a copy but free is my favourite price). I find the fact it doesn't lay it out in a month to month layout and actually explains what your body is going through during pregnancy and birth more helpful than the way the one given by the NHS does. I also find the NHS one rather patronising with very little real information in it.

nomorebooze Tue 12-Oct-10 08:09:49

thanks guys will look for that article!!!!!!!!!!! dont know if planned or not she had been thinking about it i know! shes mid 30s and said if she was gonna she'd have to do it soon! not even sure about this or even how far along she is as wont talk! will also look into the phobia! thanks. smile

Boja123 Sun 03-Dec-17 09:24:59

Hi, I'm really upset now, I'm pregnant for 7 weeks. I was always afraid to be pregnant. The very thought of living something in me causes panic. As I write my hands are shaking. I am married for 4 years. IM 37 years old. I want to have a baby. I have a husband support. I visit a psychologist once a week. No one in my country ever heard of fear of pregnancy. When I mention the tophobia, they all look at me strangely. My English is not perfect, I hope you understand.

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