Thank you pie and oakmaiden. I have been in contact with ARC and reading of other people's experiences in their newsletter has been helpful. I have been given 'phone numbers of other people who have had a termination but to me it is more difficult to pick up the phone than to write about it here.
I had a termination in Feb 02 and have since had a gorgeous baby boy. However nobody will talk to me about what happened and I feel that I need to speak to other people who have gone through the same/similar thing.
Sorry - misunderstood the direction of your question. There are a few people on the boards who have had terminations for medical reasons - thing is I don't know if they would see this in the pregnancy area. Dunno if it would be better to put it in parenting?
thanks for your messages. I don't regret my termination because the pregnancy would not have gone full term anyway. The nuchal fold reading was 6.1mm which is very high and the CVS results revealed that the foetus would only survived a couple more weeks at the most.
Do you know how to transfer this thread to 'parenting'?
Hi sammyj, I had a termination for a following a turners syndrome diagnosis in Feb this year. We had a CVS following a disasterous nuchal fold scan at 12 weeks (7.1mm). The baby had fluid accumulating around the head and neck, they referred to it by some terms I don't remember. We had several sessions with geneticists and it was a very difficult decision to make. Like you we were told our baby would not survive to term, and in the extremely unlikely event it did then it would need to be operated on immediately. I too know I made the right decision, but this year has been the hardest of my life. We have a beautiful son (16 months) who has a lovely distraction, but it is hard not to focus on what would have been.
Hi.I had a termination at 24 weeks in june last year as my son had severe spina bifida. It was the most traumatic thing I have ever had to do and I still wonder whether I did the right thing and rarely a day goes by when I don`t think about him, even though I am 21 weeks pregnant now. I also have a 3 year old who I took into account when making my decision. To be honest I dont really remember making a decision.It all happened so quickly with little advice given to us and I just felt so scared. So I sympathise with anybody who has gone through anything similar. In a way I think it takes more courage to have the termination than to let things happen naturally and put your child through all that misery and pain.
Hi Puglover, it sounds so wierd saying this but it is so nice to speak to someone who has been through the same thing. We had 2 miscarriages before we had our ds but this made me feel so different and I have found it hard to cope with the fact that I "made" the decision and to be honest I think about it all day every day. Our ds played a big part in our decision and I know it was the right one, it was just so hard to go through with.
Congratulations with your pregnancy. Can I ask how you coped before you got pregnant? I find it so hard trying not to feel like getting pregnant again will make it all better. I know what is done is done and another baby will not be a replacement, but... Anyway, thanks for responding and good luck with your pregnancy. You must have had a hard time of it and I expect had to be very brave with scans and so on. The best of luck to you, you deserve it.
Have you asked ARC if you can join their yahoo group? It is a message board forum a bit like this but specifically for parents who have terminated because of abnormality. Also, some of their befrienders will correspond by email/post.
hi whizzymummy, sorry for what you have been through. I too wanted to get pregnant straight away thinking it would make things `all better` again. However, I had a miscarriage after the termination which made me feel even more guilty about things. But now I am pregnant again, I know it was definately the right thing to do. Although thoughts of Luke and guilt never leave me, I feel positive and excited about something again and can look at babies and other pregnant women with joy instead of sorrow and envy. I have been looked after very well during this pregnancy with lots of scans and support, however I will not be entirely happy until I have my baby in my arms. The very best of luck to you and take care.