Going away (or doing anything) at 36 weeks

[Deliaskis]

Hi all,

This is my first pregnancy so was hoping to ask some wiser people about a dilemma I have.

Am due Feb 19th, and in late Jan, when I will be 36 weeks, there is a residential training weekend for Guide leaders, which I normally go on. Now to explain a bit about the weekend, I actually love this particular weekend, it's in a stately home, very relaxed, lovely food, comfy beds, en-suite rooms, peace and quiet, no pressure to join in if you don't feel like it. I normally go because I love the weekend, it feels like a retreat rather than training and is a great chance to socialise with my Guide leader colleagues.

It is however, in a slightly remote location, not hours from a hospital, but 1.5 hours from home, and about 30 mins from a hospital. Am I nuts to even consider going? I don't know how I'm going to feel at 36 weeks and of course none of you really either as we're all different. I could of course sign up and then still not go if I didn't feel like it. I am more thinking about whether this is a risky thing to do at all. Should I just write it off for this year (which is also fine with me), or is it something that might still be quite relaxing and enjoyable for me at this stage? Am I being stupid to even consider the risk that I might possibly go into early labour and be not near home or DH?

Don't want to take stupid or unnecessary risks, but also don't want to be precious not daring to laugh too much in case I go into labour type new mum-to-be.

So thoughts from experienced mums please!

Ta
Dx

[ReneRusso]

It sounds lovely, I think I would go. First babies are normally late and labours are slow. If things did kick off you are not too far for DH to get to you if necessary. Take your notes with you just in case.

[NoahAndTheWhale]

Would you be able to pull out with not too much financial cost if you couldn't do it?

I only say as by 36 weeks I was into week 2 of being in and out of hospital before DS was born at 38+3 weeks (first pregnancy).

I would definitely want to go and probably would plan to go. And would definitely take my notes. Chances are you will go and have a lovely time :)

[cardamomginger]

Hi,
First timer here too and I;m now 35+3. I have been blessed with an absolutely trouble-free pregnancy, but I can't believe how much HARDER everything has suddenly got. Walking hurts. I'm seriously exhausted. Breathless. Can't sleep. Brain seems to have turned to mush. So if it was me, and it really was going to be relaxation all the way with NO expectations from anyone to do anything other than sleep/potter gently/rest/read/rest/eat/rest, I'd go for it. A last baby-free weekend for you to do the things you like might be really nice. Can someone else drive you there and back? You might not feel up to a 1.5 hour drive by that stage. As for the medical side of things - you can't tell at this stage. All things being equal if this is a first baby, you are more likely to go a bit over than deliver early. And 1.5 hours is not SO far away that you can't be reached if things did get "interesting". Can you book it with the option of canceling if you feel you're not up for it or your medical situation means that it would be unwise?

[FloraFinching]

I think I would plan to go if there wasn't a huge financial committment involved.

This pg, I'm well, but exhausted, at just 31 weeks.

But with my last pg I had bags of energy, and can remember being out on the tiles the night before I went into labour at 40+0. You never know how things will be.

[slimyak]

I wouldn't cancel unless you're looking for a reason to. It might be a nice break from baby obsessing and a chance to see some friend pre baby as things will change once newbie appears ( in a good way I hasten to add).

Lots of people are over 30 mins from hospital at home and like Rene said fisrt babies often make a late apperance.

Just bear in mind that most people are very tired, waddling and grazing their food from 36wks, so as long as you can fit that in you should be fine. But it sounds very relaxing, I'd ask if I could come but I'm due on 27th Jan and it's not my first so that would probably be cutting it a bit fine.

P.S you're more likely to wee yourself than go into labour from laughing too much

[Deliaskis]

Hi guys,

Thanks for replies so far. I can of course book now and the weekend is really cheap (only £35 for everything) so I'm completely not bothered about the money if I book and end up not to going for either medical reasons or just because I don't feel like it nearer the time.

Yes someone else can drive (and has already offered) and I would be surrounded by lovely ladies most of whom have kids so will be understanding. One of them was my Guide leader when I was a Guide and is kind of like my second Mum anyway so I guess I'm not worried about having supportive or helpful people around me.

Your thoughts are helpful, I honestly wasn't sure if I expected people to say things like 'no way would I be more than 20 mins from hospital and DH at any point at this stage' or whatever, so this has already been helpful.

Thanks
D

PS LOL at my last para of last post as in fact laughing too much and inducing labour is probably the most likely scenario from past experience of this weekend!

[Deliaskis]

slimyak x-posted with you but no I'm certainly not looking for a reason not to go, if anything, I'm looking for people to tell me I'm not a selfish irresponsible mother to even consider going.

D

PS ah yes, maybe will be trying to control the laughing then...

[Makinglists]

Sounds lovely I would go (I would check that there is a let out clause just in case you not up to it when you get to 36 weeks)as others have said first babies tend to be late (mine was 42 weeks)- I'm a Guider and some of the indoor trainings I've been on have been fab and you can I'm sure always dip out of some sessions if you need to have a rest/snooze. Anyway if anything did happen the other leaders would be wonderful and supportive - can't think of a better lot to go on a late pregnancy break with (apart of course from DH!!).

[Deliaskis]

Thanks all, I really appreciate your thoughts. Have just thought actually that another factor for possible late cancellation would be weather, as if there's lots of snow and ice and travelling a struggle then I would probably give it a miss also.

I think at this stage I am going to sign up, but put myself under no pressure to actually go if there are any mitigating factors nearer the time. Will also be requesting a super comfy convenient ground floor room and for a couple of Guider friends to leave phones on all night as well!

Thanks again
Dx

[ilovesmarties]

Hi

Sorry to be negative but I would not go. I went away for a weekend when I was 34 weeks pregnant (with my first) and the baby showed up early. Although hospital was close, the whole process was awful. It disrupted everything as daughter was in special care and husband stuck 3 hours away. We had to be transferred back to Cambridge by ambulance 3 days after birth with my daughter being very poorly. I felt all alone with no one near when I went into labor in a strange place with no familiar faces or surroundings.

[BalloonSlayer]

I'd agree with the idea of signing up for now and seeing how you feel. You won't feel like going anywhere for ages once the baby arrives so you might regret it if you fancied going but couldn't because you didn't book.

If anything happens . . . think of the First Aid badges that could be gained !!

[guiltyandfedup]

I would definately book with the intention of going, statistically you are way more likely to be 'on time' or late than significantly early. If you are going to have problems then it will most likely become apparent before you are 36 weeks.

Many people continue working way past 36 weeks even in fairly 'physical' jobs too.

With regards being further away from hospital, 30 minutes is relatively short a distance (it will take me a minimum of 45 mins- prob longer)and as it is your first you would have plenty odf warning if things got going. Just take your maternity notes etc with you just in case.

[nunnie]

My first was born at 39+1 and labour lasted a total of 2 hours and 5 minutes. Hasn't stopped me booking a mon-fri break at centerparcs when I will be 36 weeks. I also am sitting an exam when I will be 38+6.
Take maternity notes and go and have a good weekend.

[Bumperlicious]

First time round I stayed away at friends/relatives 100-250 miles away at around the same time (trying to pack it all in while on leave before the baby came).

However this time round I definitely wouldn't but just because I am knackered and sleeping badly enough as it it. In fact I'm not intending on straying far from the sofa for the next 4 weeks!

Sounds lovely though, so if you feel up to it then go, if you don't then don't, don't worry what anyone else thinks.

[Deliaskis]

Oooh lots more replies. Thanks all for perspectives, including ilovesmarties as this was essentially what I was worried about.

However, on balance, I think I'm going to sign up now and see how I feel nearer the time. I'm completely not worried about dropping out the day before if necessary, and it's close enough that DH could come and get me on the Saturday if I wanted to come home early.

If I did go into labour early (which is unlikely), I think my chances of making it to my home hospital are quite good, and if I didn't DH could come up (and stay with friends who also live in the area) if necessary, so I think on balance I am going to sign up and play it by ear. DH works for family business so they will be flexible re leave etc.

Thanks all, appreciate your thoughts.

D

[japhrimel]

I'd sign up now and see how you feel nearer the time. You may just not be up to a 90 minute journey at all.

[pescatore]

I would book and see how you feel. I have had a relatively 'easy' pregnancy but by 34 weeks felt crap - low blood pressure, sore back, sore feet, not sleeping etc. Nonetheless, at 35 weeks + 2 and after an ok from the doctor, I decided to fly to London by myself (an hour's flight from where I am), trekked it from City airport to the West End and spent the next three days madly shopping on Oxford Street and catching up with old friends. Hubby joined me over the weekend and whilst I was tired by the end of it, it was fabuluous and I felt soooo much better.

Oh, and take your notes with you when you go, plus any pillows which may have become essential to your sleeping habits by then.