How much preparation has your OH done for the labour?(21 Posts)
Just wondering if your OH has done anything to prepare for the labour and birth? Read anything, watched anything? Need to compare and contrast with my DP, who worryingly can't even sit through an episode of 1BEM..!
My DH did nothing - for any of my pregnancies. He was useless for my first labour, so would strongly recommend your OH does some homework.
My OH attended the antenatal classes which were for couples. At first he wasn't really interested but then he really took to it, started taking notes etc. He was really great during the birth, reminding me how to breathe, to relax etc. I think on the day they are so worried about you and about getting through the experience that they forget about the blood and gore!
DH came with me to half of my NCT course, and read a couple of chapters in one of my pregnancy books (although can't remember if it was about pregnancy or actual birth - think I remember not wanting him to read too much about the gory details). And packed a small hospital bag for himself so he would have things to keep him busy/ fed if my labour was very long (it wasn't). He did stay with me in the delivery room for the whole process (although not at the business end) and cut the cord though.
I forced encouraged DH to read some stuff about massage techniques etc.. It was all a bit pointless though, because I wouldn't let him near me once I was in labour
I wouldn't worry to much. I don't really think any amount of reading/watching stuff can really prepare you.
Mine goes into the other room for OBEM - he read 'Blokes guide to pregnancy' but describes birth number 1 - which I remember as an empowering, amazing experience - as horrific. He was pretty useful though - takes instructions well
Mine did nothing to prepare but I am not really sure what he COULD have done. He was aware of how the baby was going to come out and he sat with me mainly distracting me (more valuable than anything else!). His main contribution was clearing up the almighty mess when my waters broke all over me and helping me change into my nighty etc he was also in charge of getting drinks. With mys second and third he was the first to touch them (when their little heads first began to appear) at his request which to me was a bit ick but seemed important to him, he also cut the cords of all three.
For this birth his prepartion has mainly included making "witty" comments like "well good luck with that" when I was told the baby had a big head lol. Im sure he will be great though just being there is all they can REALLY do.
DP has bought and read The Father's Homebirth Handbook (though he did take nearly a month to read it as he reached a 'mental block' with the chapter on Pain ).
He also keeps coming out with snippets about essential oils and reflexology points and the like so I assume he has been reading up on the subject somewhere
Oh and he read Michel Odent's Birth and Breastfeeding/Scientification Of Love ages ago when I was first pg and really took a lot of that on board.
DH didn't activley read about parenthood or labour or anything like that. He was used to being round a lot of babies but I didn't know any. (He was also a farmer so I got a lot of comments about how he had helped sheep and cows give birth so there would be no problem - he could muck in if needed!! (He got a smack round back of head for that !!
He was (and still is) the most marvellous DH and looked after me before, during and after the birth (still does) He had no time off because we were going through a terrible financial time with his business.
I was flipping useless at packing my bag and he went out and got all the essentials that I had forgotten.
Get him to watch this
DH came to our 2 antenatal classes with ds1.
He found out where the maternity dept was within the hospital (although I already knew as I'd been going there since 12 weeks!)and I taught him how to put on my TENS machine.
He also made a list of snacks that he's like me to pack in the hospital bag as, "he'd get hungry too you know !!
mine attended all the ante-natal classes and read the section for dads in my pregnancy book.
he picked up a lot of helpful stuff on his role during the birth at our ante-natal classes.
I also made him watch a birth on a tv programme running on a sky channel at the time. (he wasn't too keen on that one)
He was great during the birth totally unphased.
This time we've both been pretty useless at getting prepared for anything although I am only 25 weeks so I still have some time left.
Did very little really. Read the bits of a book that I asked him too.... opined that as childbirth was natural, he thought women generally made too much of it, and did alot of research about cots, strollers etc.
Come the day, he kept calm, but was deeply horrified and shocked at the whole event.
Mine attended the antenatal classes. Other than that he did nothing - didn't read anything. But was a great help with both deliveries (1 cs and 1 vbac). Supported me, listened well and did everything I asked him to perfectly. Not his usual style
Oh, and should add, that he said all the way through that whatever I wanted and needed from him he would do, even if it meant breaking his fingers during contractions.
OnEdge - the contractions are the easy bit; in the interests of realism, they should have fed him nothing but Imodium for two weeks, and then let him try and pass a 9lb poo.
DP has been so wonderful and supportive during this pregnancy, so I feel bad for thinking it, but if he is overcome by all the screaming and blood and just sits there uselessly in the corner, I'll go mad. I keep trying to discuss certain things with him that I don't think he realises happens - the puking, the pooing etc - but he's not mad keen to have me elaborate, strangely enough..!
My DH is coming to all my NCT classes with me (well except for the women only one!). He's read a few bits of the Home Birth Father's handbook and I'll hassle him to read more nearer our due date. I've also discussed some things with him after I'd read about them, so he's picking up a few bits that way which I think will help with him not being shocked and over-whelmed at the ickiness of it all!
He's actually getting very enthusiastic now - has asked the MW if he can deliver the baby as we're hoping to have a home water birth. He was chuffed to find out that he should be able to if everything goes well.
Mine is coming to the NCT classes. The only book he has read so far of all the ones I have bought is spiritual midwifery by ina may gaskin - don't get me wrong, its a great book, but I am not sure that its the most constructive starting point for first time fathers, as she makes lots of references to orgasmic birth, and my dh seems to have got the distinct impression from reading her book that contractions only hurt if you aren't breathing properly, so its all going to be a walk in the park.
my DH is coming to all the antenatal classes except one, which he couldn't make. He watched bits of one born every minute with me but actually found it too much at times. I think he will be different when it actually happens though as he's very much a 'calm in a crisis' person (I am the opposite ) . I am also chatting through things a bit with him although don't want to bombard him. But I think some knowledge is useful, my brother was totally unprepared for there to be blood when his wife gave birth and was very distressed .
My DH has been to the ante natal class and is enthused.
"First Time Parents" sits on his nightstand as yet unopened.
He watched the birthing video at the class with trepidation (as did I) but said it looked "do-able".
I have prepped him on blood, poo and fluids. He was stoic. We decreed "what happens in the delivery room, stays in the delivery room".
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