Potty Nightmare

[Lollies]

Please HELP!!!!! I think I'm about to lose my mind. My DS is just about to turn three. First attempted potty training about 5 months ago, with no success.

Just spent the last 3 days trying again. Refuses to wear pants, screams the house down at the mention of them.

Tried padded seat on the big toilet, musical potty, thomas the tank potty and I've run out of ideas. He just will not sit on the potty, without getting really upset. We have both spent the morning in tears.

DH says I should relax and he will do it in his own time. He was nearly 4 before he was potty trained.

Is he right? I'm just worried that it will never happen. How to you explain to people that he is still in nappies?

[theyoungvisiter]

you've probably tried it, but bribery?

DS1 was incredibly resistant to sitting on the potty or going anywhere near it, after a traumatic attempt before he was ready. It was just as you describe - tears and hysteria, going rigid if you tried to put his bottom anywhere near it.

In the end I rewarded with smarties and chocolate buttons. Initially it was one button for just sitting, or two if a wee appeared in the potty.

This tailed off (within the week) to one button for a wee and within 14 days he was totally dry, including nights .

If bribery (with whatever does it for your child) doesn't work VERY fast then I would be inclined to say that he really isn't ready and leave it.

One more thought - have you tried standing up wees or wees outside, to disassociate the weeing from the act of sitting on the potty for the moment?

[theyoungvisiter]

and I wouldn't worry too much about the age - there were lots of kids in DS's nursery who were three and notionally potty trained, but actually going in their pullups 7 times out of 10. Just because a child isn't actually in nappies, doesn't mean they've necessarily got it.

[Doyouthinktheysaurus]

If he's getting upset then I think persevering is counterproductive and you may have to give up for a while.

Both Ds's went to playgroup with children who were not potty trained...it happens. I really wouldn't worry too much about his age, not quite 3 is still quite young and being a boy he will be later anyway.

I would take a more low key approach. Keep the potty/toilet bits around, ask him when you go if he wants to go, that kind of thing but if he refuses then let it go.

Choosing his own pants at the shops? That could help. That worked a bit for DS2.

I had problems with DS1 who wouldn't do a poo in the toilet and bribery didn't work for us unfortunately. Only time worked in the end.