Day 3 of potty training - are we doing well or have we started too early?

[Swaliswan]

DD asked to start potty training on saturday morning so I thought we'd give it a good go. The CM's DD has just potty trained and her best friend has as well so she's seen lots of potty training going on and 'big girl pants'. I was a bit dubious though because DD is only just approaching 2.3yo and the CM's DD is 2.8 and her best friend is 2.6. However, she has been showing lots of signs of being ready to potty train (including telling me that she needed a wee on friday evening, dragging a potty into the room I was in and tried to sit down before she started to wee/telling me not to take her nappy off to change it as she was doing a wee/telling me when she needed a poo etc)

So, day one I was a little under prepared but thought we'd try it. She managed just 3 accidents and 4 wees on the potty but mainly managed the wees on the potty because she was so excited to be potty training that her bottom was virtually glued to the potty She stayed dry during nap time even though she was in a pull-up and was a bit distressed by her tummy hurting with such a full bladder but was quickly relieved by sitting on the potty.

Day two was rather more trying with DD wanting to wear her knickers but not wanting to admit that she needed the potty during the morning. We had four accidents and five wees on the potty. She was dry during nap time again. She started being a lot more obvious in her impending need to pee by jigging around, holding her lower tummy and generally being irritable just before weeing so I started to pick up on her cues and managed to get her to the potty before she started weeing on most occassions. She knew straight away when she was starting to wee if she had an accident and clearly wanted to get to the potty but she wasn't wanting to stop playing to get to the potty 'just in case' she needed a wee.

Today is day three and she has managed four wees in the potty with two of them starting just before she got there.

The problem is, she will not believe me when I tell her that she needs a wee. Either that or she is refusing to go to the potty when she starts dancing around holding her bits because she doesn't want to stop playing/is frightened/some other reason. Is this normal? She was actually screaming at me yesterday just before she went for a wee saying that her tummy hurt and pleading with me to 'wipe me bits' and she would not believe that she just needed to sit on the potty and wee. As soon as she managed to wee, she was clearly a lot happier.

At what point will she start to listen to her body and realise that she needs a wee and tell me/go to the potty without me prompting her?

Also, she doesn't instantly wee when she sits down on the potty when I know that she needs a wee. It can take up to five minutes for her to start 'producing'. Is this normal?

Sorry that this is long. I wanted to make sure that there was enough info for someone to interpret what is going on!

[WhatFreshHellIsThis]

Hmmm. Sounds like she is ready from the point of view of knowing when she needs to go, but is finding it a bit odd and weird and uncomfortable to hold it? It must be an odd feeling, let's face it.

You could try recapturing that excited Day One thing with bribery - chocolate buttons or a sticker chart? It might keep her interested enough to get through this patch? DS1 trained with the help of chocolate buttons - one for a wee, two for a poo, only if they were in the potty obviously.

It was amazing how quickly we were able to phase the bribes out again.

[BoffinMum]

I agree, it sounds like she has got a pretty good degree of muscular control for her age, but that stickers would help her use the potty a bit more often and understand the connection between the bladder issues and her need to empty it.

My DD started toilet training at about this age and had lots of accidents at first, but is now 22 and doing very well on the ol' toileting front.

[shazbean]

I'm really glad you posted this, makes me think it must be normal. I agree that she sounds as though she is ready, does she always know to do poops in the potty? My DD (2.1) has just started potty training about 2 weeks ago. Some days we have no accidents and other days we have the starting to pee thing and realising then making it to the potty/loo. We had the same sort of thing as what you are experiencing now last weekend, I was asking her for ages- I knew she was needing but she was too involved in playing to want to move so we had a little accident. I have found that continually asking her induces more accidents (I think she is annoyed at boing nagged??!) it so we let her run around with no pants in the house and she goes to the potty by herself no problems. Another thing I do is to get her to come with me, Mummy needs a pee do you want to go too? which helps as well. And sometimes it does take a while but I try and be patient and let her sit there for as long as she wants (whilst not making it particularly entertaining IYSWIM).
Good luck!

[Swaliswan]

LOL Boff! I thought that you might come along and put me out of my misery

And thanks to WFH as well. I get the feeling that DD would try and negotiate one packet of white choc buttons for a wee and two for a poo though

[ttalloo]

I think your DD is doing really well; even when they're ready to start as she clearly is, it takes time for them to start listening to their bodies and acting accordingly. I've been potty training DS1 (2.6 yrs) in earnest since Thursday and we've had one or two accidents a day (none so far today, touch wood), mainly when he's been too busy having fun to realise that he needs a wee until it's too late. A couple have taken place seconds after he's been asked if he wants a wee, and categorically refused (v.irritating) so if it's been an hour or so since his last wee, and he's been drinking a lot of water, I now just plonk him on the potty.

Also, they soon learn that it's much more fun just to wee or poo the instant they sit down, rather than sit there for ages. DS1 used to sit for an hour claiming that he needed to do a poo, complete with realistic sound effects, with nothing happening (he's very resistant to change, so the build-up to potty training has been taking place over the last three months), but now he's done and dusted in half a minute.

And I second the bribes - DS1 gets one chocolate button for every wee and six for every poo (he's a tough negotiator) but as I don't want him eating 20 chocolate buttons a day I'm using distraction to avoid giving them to him every time he uses the potty. Usually ringing DH, his grandparents or aunt to tell them the big news and engage in a round of clapping, helps him to forget. So far today, despite four wees and a poo he's only had one button.....

[Feierabend]

Sounds to me like your DD is doing really well. We potty trained DD1 at the same age a few weeks ago. She'll still occasionally insist that she doesn't need a wee when we KNOW she does. Sometimes we leave her and then she'll have a little accident - just a few drops as she won't get to the loo in time. Sometimes we insist and put her on the loo anyway (like when we know we're going on a car journey) and ask her to 'just try' and that works too. And sometimes we do have to bribe her with chocolate buttons. But generally I don't worry about it at all, I think it just takes time for them to get used to holding it in and understand the signals, and they hate being distracted from playing. Keep up the good work