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Dd won't sit on toilet or potty, wants to put on nappy to go to the toilet.

(7 Posts)
sunfleurs Sat 15-Aug-09 18:55:00

Seeing as the weather is warm at the moment dd 2.11 is not wearing any clothes most of the day. When she wants to go to the toilet she comes and asks me to put her nappy on. So in effect she is holding it, knows when she needs to go and is choosing when to go. She just absolutely, point blank will not go on the potty or toilet (with special Fifi toilet seat). She is obviously totally ready and to a certain extent trained already.

My Mum says be "firm" with her but dd is very high maintenance and I know any attempt to force her onto the potty would be utterly horrendous and I really think would scar her emotionally. I am not being precious here, she just feels things really deeply. I could never do it.

Anyone else got a child like this? I need some expert advice.

elmofan Sun 16-Aug-09 16:46:15

hi sunfleurs , my dd was exactly the same at that age , i bribed my dd (bad parenting ) blush i know but it worked . i told her that she could have a peppa pig party (huge fan) if she did a wee & poo in the potty , within a week she was using the potty & had her party grin
also then she refused to use the toilet & would only use her potty hmm so as a night time story i told her about the "fairies " who took potties away from big girls who did not need them any more & gave them to baby's who had to learn to use the potty , & a few days later i threw away potty ( while dd was asleep) & left a note & small gift for in the bathroom (from the fairies ) dd was thrilled to bits grin

penona Sun 16-Aug-09 20:36:40

hello sunfleurs, I sadly have no answer for you, but came on MN tonight because I have EXACTLY the same problem and was going to start a thread!

My DD is 2.3 so still quite young I guess, but she used to sit on the potty (or the loo with a trainer seat) quite happily until this weekend, when I decided to bite the bullet and train her. She is also quite volatile emotionally, one minute happy the next howling, and amazingly stubborn and independent, perhaps like your DD. Last two days she has just held on when I refused to put on a nappy, and evenutally wet herself (and then was very distressed). Clearly this is not good!

Not tried full-on bribery yet (stickers, smarties, etc) which I know others recommended. I did say she could ring her beloved Grandad if she weed on the potty, but my DS (twins) did a wee instead and got to call him. She still refused! He seems very relaxed about it, happy to go anywhere.

Not sure whether to give up or just force her somehow (not sure how?). For the last week she has taken her nappy off the minute she's done a wee and then refuses to put one back on until she asks (when she needs to go). Sorry to hijack your thread!

sunfleurs Mon 17-Aug-09 10:15:23

Not a hijack at all penona. Glad to hear others are in the same position. Sadly even bribery would not work with dd, she really is set in stone once she makes her mind up. Same here with nappy, takes it off then asks to put one back on as soon as she needs to go.

Just keep plodding on suppose.

penona Mon 17-Aug-09 13:41:48

Well today I have put the potties away, put the nappy back on and changed her myself once I see a poo/wee being done (tempting her to the changing mat with promise of some silliness or other!). So I guess I have given up. For now.
I actually think she is quite freaked out by seeing her wee/poo in the potty - she is fascinated by her brother's but appalled by her own! Suppose she's not seen it before in a nappy?
Interestingly DS just seems totally unbothered, will wee/poo in nappy, or else on a potty/toilet seat if no nappy on. Not sure why they are so different!

Lio Mon 17-Aug-09 13:47:43

dd is 3 and terrified of doing a poo in the potty or toilet. Wees are fine. So we put a nappy on her whenever she needs a poo. Pretty tiresome, but I can't make her change her mind. The two times we've told her that she can't have a nappy and that she has to be brave and use the potty, she's become very distressed and just held it in, obviously not a good solution as I don't want her insides to get clogged up. So we are holding our nerve until she feels brave enough. It's very trying.

twosofar Tue 18-Aug-09 20:27:13

Lio i have exactly same problem with DS1 who is 3.5. Have just started a thread in Behaviour/Development on this but it should have been here doh..
He has weed standing up like a big boy since 2.7 but goes crazy at any mention of the potty or loo. If you deny him a nappy he will hold it in or poo his pants and come and ask fro fresh pants - totally unfazed as he knows I can't say no!
He is freaked out by poo anyway - he'll always leave the room to do it and i really think he is freaked out by seeinf it come out. Any help from anyone?

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