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How long do you keep going before you decide child is not "ready"?

(15 Posts)
There Thu 13-Aug-09 13:28:36

When is a child "ready" for potty training? One week in pants with extremely limited success. How long do you think it's worth keeping trying?

Mistake with older one was that I gave her a couple of hours to get it right and then gave up (3 times!). Thought I'd try keeping going this time.

admylin Thu 13-Aug-09 13:59:15

I tried and stopped a few times too.

It took us ages but in the end we just had a week of accidents and me not getting mad, cleaning it up and then explaining to rush to the potty next time. I had all my rugs rolled up and put away for tha training period and w edid it in summer so not many clothe sto get off when in need.

Trouble is with disposable nappies the dc don't even notice they are weeing as it just gets soaked up, so they needed a week to realise what's going on down there! After the week I if they didn't atleast make a run for the pot I told them it wasn't good without trying to tell them off too much, and after 2 weeks we had managed it.

tkband3 Thu 13-Aug-09 14:02:30

I gave it 3.5 days with my DTs when they were 2.7 - after that I was so fed up of clearing up wee and poo I gave up...they just simply weren't getting it and we were all stir crazy.

2 months later DT2 declared herself ready and it took a couple of days...DT1 followed suit a fortnight later.

notnowbernard Thu 13-Aug-09 14:04:24

Define "extremely limited success"

admylin Thu 13-Aug-09 14:06:37

Oh yes I forgot to say they were 2 and 3 when I first tried but the 3 year old refused so the 2 year old copied him even though she would have quite happily sat on the potty for ages. Then I tried again when he was 4 and dd was 3 and it took us just over 2 weeks.

Ds was very stubborn and I was strating to think we'd never manage it until someone told me to chill and you never see a 7 year old in nappies so I chilled and it worked!

There Thu 13-Aug-09 14:23:03

notnowbernard - "extremely limited success" is the same as everybody on the site seems to go through - holds pee, only sits on potty when doesn't need a pee, poos only in pants. She does one to two pees in the potty per day, but that's because she's quite an easy child and easy to talk into doing something.

She's been sitting on the potty for the last 6 months, whenever she's wanted to do a pee in it, so just thought I'd put her in pants...

admylin - potty training two at the same time - you deserve a medal!

notnowbernard Thu 13-Aug-09 14:26:58

IMO if you're doing most of the work, if it's involving maximum amounts of coercion bribery AND there's loads of poo in pants and wee on the floor it's time to give it a rest for amonth or two!

There Thu 13-Aug-09 18:44:12

notnowbernard - thanks - I just needed someone to tell me that! She's back in nappies and I'm going to get on with my life again...

notnowbernard Fri 14-Aug-09 18:15:19

Good move smile

I have experience of 'training' dd1 and letting dd2 do it herself

Guess which one was a piece of --piss- cake...

grin

Stuffedcat Sat 15-Aug-09 15:22:27

I was going to post the same question! we are on day 4 and apart from one poo on the toilet.. nothing.
DS happy (ish) to sit on toilet read a couple of Mr Men, come off and promptly pee on kitchen floor so he appears to be holding it in on the loo.

DD was fully trained in a week when she was 2.3 (first 2 days accidents all over the place and then it seemed to just ‘click’ into place and by the end of the week she was taking herself).

Admylin, just interested to know when you say a week of accidents did you have any success up until then? Shall I carry on?

I have put aside the whole week to concentrate on this so time isn’t a problem just wonder if boys tend to be a bit older, DS is 2.5

BlueBumedFly Sun 16-Aug-09 18:01:10

I am really interested in this thread, so perhaps can someone give me an opinion?

DD is 2.3, wants to wear pants, is very keen but not great at it. If I stay by her side 24/7 asking every 10 mins we cope, if I turn my back she has an accident. She gets upset when she has an accident but I am not sure it is really clicking that well.

We are on day 3, like I said, not my instigation and I am not one of these mothers to force her into it just because she is over two and I think it is the right time. She has had 2 poos in pants, does not seem to have any idea at all about that one !

So, back to nursery tomorrow and there is no way they are going to ask her every ten mins are they? And why should they, there are 11 other kids to care for as well and they do not potty train although they do profess to help you along the way.

I am worried if I send her in pants she will have accident after accident. I am worried if I don't send her in pants she will regress back to nappies all the time.

I cannot take the next few days off to work on it, had I know this was going to be the week I would have booked time off, I really think you need a whole week dedicated don't you? We are away on holiday from Friday and all the books say not to do it when you are away. Also it is very disruptive to the other kids and I so want us all to enjoy the holiday, after a terrible year we need it believe me. I don;t want the stress of training to spoil it for everyone.

Ahhhhhhhh! I don't know what to do - please help me decide? I offered a pull up nappy 10 mins ago as it is getting late, she is tired and had had an accident even after I had asked if she needed a wee 2 mins earlier and she threw a fit and said pants.

Help? Please?

notnowbernard Sun 16-Aug-09 22:07:07

Bluebummedfly -

I'd stick her in nappies, I really would

Try when you're back from holiday if she's still interested

The holiday will be a right hassle if you're in the middle of PT

Stuffedcat Mon 17-Aug-09 12:08:14

BlueBumedFly - sounds like she is ready, but if I were you I would pop her back in nappies till after your holiday and try and devote a few days to it, maybe the bank holiday weekend?

Its quite hard going the first few days, mopping up wee, not letting them out of sight, I felt quite drained - you will wonder whether to carry on but do because after that it seems to just click into place.

After the first day I would stop reminding her every 10 mins and that is how they tend to learn, remind her every half hour or so then say day 3 leave it to her, just watch for the signs (holding onto ‘bits’!)

My DD was dry within a week when she was 2.5 (first 2/3 days accidents everywhere) and just in the middle of DS who had 4 days with nothing but accidents and now he appears to have got the hang of it and asks to go - we haven’t had an accident in the last couple of days.

Don’t worry about the pooing thing it will happen mine was the same for about 2 months but I’d rather her have gone in pants than held it in.

BlueBumedFly Mon 17-Aug-09 19:35:37

Thanks guys, I took her to nursery in pull-ups and they continued all day. Seemingly did very well although with pull ups accidents go pretty much undetected! She actually asked to go for a wee lots of times though so that must be a good sign? They want to try her in pants tomorrow, I am hoping for the Day 5 click!!!

I agree though, a right hassle in the middle of a holiday... just when I did not want to do lots of washing!! It seems I am being plotted against this year, it has been shocking. I know that sounds weird that I am not excited about my child coping well with PT but its the timing that gets me !!

Letsdoit Tue 25-Aug-09 16:43:42

Bluebumedfly, don't give yourself a hard time for loathing the timing, you poor thing!

Hope your hols will be all right after all. Good luck.

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