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Help. Me.

(14 Posts)
OnNaturesCourse Sun 24-May-20 13:05:38

So on and off being trying the potty with our 2.5 year old, since she was around 18 months old.

Every time we try she just doesn't seem to grasp it, or understand what she needs to do despite showing the signs of readiness like saying her nappy is wet or smelly.

She'll now sit on the potty and look between her legs and ask the water (pee) to come out... but as yet hasn't managed.

She has pooped and peed in the potty when we've tried before, but each time it's given her a fright and she's jumped off before finishing. We tried her on the toddler seat on the loo thinking it would help but it didn't.

So we are trying again today.

Any hints or tips?

Do you let them sit on the potty for as long as they want? I feel she uses it more as a seat when I do this, she'll sit on it for ages.

Do you keep putting them back on it every hour or so to try and catch the pee/poop? Do you reward it if you catch it like this?

Help us please lol.

OP’s posts: |
nannymags Sun 24-May-20 17:38:16

She is still young and might not be ready for the change. I would take the emotion out of it first of all and keep it very matter of fact and calm.

with the warm weather and lock down you can let her dress in tshirt and pants or bare bottom and have a potty in the room with you. let her drink lots of water (straws, play the sets, sports beakers all have novelty affect to help encourage this)

Watch her! if she goes quiet or hides this can be a sign she needs to go. Nice gentle praise and encouragement for sitting on potty, even if nothing comes. You can do smarties sticker chart etc but dont get hung upon it or use as bribery.

Accidents are common and can even be helpful and she can start to work out the sensations and triggers of "wee wee about to come out, wee wee coming out..... wee on floor"

Yes ask her a few times an hour but decide are you asking or telling? I might ask every 15 mins but if she hasn't gone for an hour then I would tell her potty time and have a special book or song etc.

I wouldn't encourage her to sit on potty for longer than it takes for a poo to come, IYSWIM?! so if nothing comes after 5 mins i dont think its likely to . especially in early stages.

If she gets frightened you can support her through this , I would say something like "thats was a big surprise wasn't it?! did it feel a bit funny when the poo/wee came out and went in potty? well you did brilliantly and next time maybe more poo/wee will come" so you're acknowledging her feelings without creating a fuss.
You can gently encourage her to sit back on potty to finish but often kids dont.

She may want to inspect and watch the flushing and cleaning etc.

Good luck! Let us know how you get on xx

FTMF30 Sun 24-May-20 17:44:14

We've been letting DS walk around bare bum. We'd put him on the potty quickly when he started weeing. After a few days he's began to grasp that wees are fir tye potty.

It has meant a few a accidents but he's learning quicker this way. Prior to that, we'd put him in pull ups and told him to let us kniw when he needs a wee 🤦‍♀️. Needless to say, that didn't work at all.

OnNaturesCourse Mon 25-May-20 13:24:45

Our new problem is she will literally sit on thr potty for hours if we let her.

We got two pees yesterday, and three accidents but the last one she shouted for the potty we just didn't get it to her in time.

We've been letting her get a sticker every time she goes in the potty, she gets to tip it and flush the loo aswell, then wash her hands.

We've not had a poop in 24 hours tho, which isnt completely unusual for her but I know she needs to go as she's windy. Keeps asking for a nappy to poop in.

OP’s posts: |
nannymags Mon 25-May-20 15:01:29

Hi well done onnaturescourse. Sometimes it get worse before it gets better! But generally i would say if you dont feel like she's getting the hang of it within a week or so then i would consider she's not ready.

With regards to the poo, with my current charge, he would do the same thing..... he took quickly to wee in potty but asked for a nappy for poo. partially because he was so used to standing up to poo! it must feel so weird to go from standing to sitting!
We went with it as he was doing so well with wee. and in a funny way he was poo potty trained, he knew when he needed to go, held it until the nappy was on, then release once nappy on. which is all the skills needed for toilet training. He then went to potty and I've recently transitioned him to toilet seat.

Defy keep potty near by,. What was the time between weeing (either in potty or accidents)? I would encourage her to sit on potty maybe 5 mins shorter. so if she wee every 45 mins, put her on potty every half an hour or so. I use an alarm clock and say wee wee time

OnNaturesCourse Mon 25-May-20 21:33:48

It was literally 15 minutes from first pee in potty to accident - and we only just got her on the potty on time for the first pee. So I suspect she peed a little as we sat her on it, stopped and held it until she was off. But because there was pee in the potty she got a sticker, and I think it clicked with her. She the accident after that (and told us it was a accident) but the next time she needed was about 90 minutes afterwards and she asked for the potty.

Today she wasn't with me the full day but managed a pee in the potty, and asked for a nappy for a poop. Tonight she nearly peed in the potty - she was dancing and asked but we were outside so she didn't get to it in time so peed in her nappy.

I'm hoping it's starting to click, just slowly.

How long would you let them sit on the potty? She sat on it for 40 minutes this morning with nothing but when I asked her to come off it she said she was pooping (once she was off she pooped in her nappy about ten minutes later)

OP’s posts: |
OnNaturesCourse Mon 25-May-20 21:35:08

**this morning being lunchtime to everyone else as I'm nocturnal almost just now lol

OP’s posts: |
nannymags Mon 25-May-20 22:51:30

You need the potty pretty much within arms reach At any given time as you need it to hand at a moments notice!!!!!!

40 mins is waaaay to long to be sitting and waiting for a poo. Would you sit on the toilet that long?!! I would do 10 mins max. Off she pops if nothing coming then she might want to get back on again. She needs to get the hang of the signs and cues that she “needs to go”

Good luck tomorrow!

OnNaturesCourse Mon 25-May-20 22:56:20

Problem is she can take over a hour to poop in her nappy too. She strains, she's been seen by GPs etc but they aren't concerned so long as she's going atleast once every other day.

OP’s posts: |
nannymags Tue 26-May-20 20:32:31

Oh yikes well that is a poo spanner in the works. Glad dr aren’t concerned but I would still look into her diet etc as that’s not ideal is it. Does she eat well? Snack/graze or three meals a day? Does she exercise and move enough in the day?

OnNaturesCourse Tue 26-May-20 22:25:44

Yes to everything.

She may need a operation when she is bigger, and is on laxatives on and off when required at the moment.

GP hopes she will grow out of it before the operation is looked into (it could be "in her mind")

OP’s posts: |
nannymags Fri 29-May-20 21:49:34

Oh poor you and poor baba! I’ve looked after some kids like this and it’s heartbreaking.

And yes some do grow out of it. Is your girl quite petite? I’ve found it’s often very dinky girls who get these problems. Maybe their system isn’t fully developed yet or maybe they can’t eat much to get the system going

Good luck and I’m here if you need any feedback or encouragement!

How has the last few days gone? I would let her go poop in nappy or potty whichever she feels most comfortable. Xxxxx

OnNaturesCourse Fri 29-May-20 22:37:44


Thanks for checking back in.

She's actually not petite, but the problem she has with passing stool runs on both sides of the family (kids in both sides have required the operation including her father)

I'm happy to say the penny seems to have finally dropped for her. Five days of having the potty back out, and three days of full potty training... She's been in big girl pants got three days with no accidents aside from in her nappy on the second morning. Even better news is she had a bowel movement and it was biggg but she seemed to have a lot less trouble passing it in the potty. She is now asking to go, and has even managed a trip out the house.

I'm just hoping it continues

She still sometimes tries to hold on too long and starts dancing around lol but I'm hoping she'll stop this soon enough...

OP’s posts: |
regalmama Mon 08-Jun-20 15:04:37

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