I’m so confused and worried I’ve made a huge mess of it all!

[musicaljojo]

My DS is 2y 10m. He’s the last in our group of friends to be potty trained so I thought I would give it a go, he was drier in the day and could tell me when he’d pooped in his nappy but not before.

We tried going straight into pants but I’d read that was the best thing to try but he was just having lots of accidents because he wasn’t telling me anything and without me putting him on the potty he wouldn’t do anything until he had done the wee when he would say “uhoh accident” but would be quite happy to play with wet pants. He also started to hold it for long periods of time (5 hours) without a wee.

He managed to tell me once that he needed a poo and did it in the potty but when he did it in the pants, he again wasn’t bothered.

So I’m now back in pull-ups but still trying to put him on the potty in the morning, before lunch, after lunch, before nap, after nap etc but trying to ask if he “he can feel anything?”

I’m just so worried that I tried before he was ready and now screwed it all up?! Do I need to wait until he’s telling me that he can feel the wee coming before I try again?!

Should I still be putting him on the potty so often?

[nocluewhattodoo]

Bribing with chocolate buttons worked for me, she got one for trying at first, which made her go of her own volition, then another button for a wee and two for a poo, she cracked it in under a week.

[SagaBauer]

Just commenting for other replies really. My DD is 2years 9 months and will admit when questioned if she's done a poo in her nappy, but will not directly come and tell me and doesn't seem to know before it happens. I would say like my Dd your son isn't ready yet. But I don't think you've messed anything up! Just put him back in nappies and try again in a month or two?

[Smurfie12]

I waited till my ds was dry at night before I started potty training. I waited till the weather was a bit warmer and he could wear shorts that were easy to pull down for him to go to the toilet. We cracked it in a weekend. If he is having problems just go back to what you were doing before and try again in a couple of weeks/months. Good luck and don't worry it will happen when he is ready

[Sunshinegirl82]

My DS is 3.5 and we are a week into potty training. I found the Oh Crap potty training book to be quite helpful.

According to the book you'd expect "self initiation" (ie telling you they need to go in advance) after about 3 weeks or so.

We started by prompting and having him sit on the potty at regular intervals (on waking, after breakfast, snack time, before lunch etc) that worked fairly quickly. He has been completely dry at nursery all week.

We do still have to prompt or we get accidents. If maybe try with the regular prompting, if you still have lots of accidents maybe wait a few months and try again!

[Peach1886]

My DS flatly refused to cooperate until he was nearly four, so 2 years and 10 months seems quite young to be trying. I would forget about it for a while and make more of a game of it when you do try again; putting pressure on yourself and him is just going to stress you both out. Lots of my friends' kids were dry long before DS, mostly but not all girls, but then one day he just went for it, and was dry overnight as well. Let your DS decide when he's ready for it and it'll be much easier on both of you 🙂

[Tuliptulip]

Doesn’t sound as if he is quite ready. When I did it (quite a long time ago - youngest is 9!), we chose a time in the holidays when we weren’t really doing anything, put them straight into big boy/girl pants, and then stayed at home so they could go in the potty every 15 mins. Of course they didn’t do anything most of the time, but if we managed to catch something, there was great excitement, rewards etc. (I remember one time we saved a poo to show Daddy when he got back from work ). Any accidents there was minimal fuss, pants change and back onto every 15 minutes. Day 3 I think we went to 30 mins and so on. The longest one of mine took was 4 days. But we waited until they were ready (and one had to go back into nappies after one day, and cracked it a couple of months later, so not the end of the world). Above all ignore anyone who criticises him for being late - they all get there in the end!

[BarbarAnna]

Don’t stress it. Give him a try again in a couple of months and don’t worry about him being the last in the group. I waited til my two were clearly ready and it was easy - no need for charts or bribing or anything.

[Moomin37]

Easier said than done, but try not to worry! I tried with my daughter at 2y 10m and it was a disaster (I put her in pants only) as she just didn't seem to know when she needed to go (she would happily sit on potties and toilets but didn't know what to do). I left it after that then all of a sudden just before her third birthday she took to the potty one day (we'd left it in the lounge) and we never looked back (although I should clarify that although wees are fine, the poos are very much a work in progress...). My experience definitely reflects what lots of people say about older children learning quicker. We do try bribes and they seem to work for wees (those mini marshmallows) but I think seeing other kids using toilets in pre school really helped. The 'poo goes to pooland' app is really good and my DD loves watching it over and over.