Toilet training 5 months and still pooing in pants, please help!

[HotMessMama]

I started potty training my son in July when he broke up from nursery for the summer (July 20th was our first nappy free day). He was 2yrs 9months then and after the usual first couple of days of accidents he quickly got the hang of wees on the toilet (we started with one of those Summer Infant toilet shaped potty’s and have consistently used the word ‘toilet’). He is now 3yrs 2months and has since moved on to using the adult toilet with a step and seat insert. He is so good with wees, will take himself to the toilet and will say when he needs to go when we are out. However he is still pooing in his pants this is happening every day to every other day. We’ve tried rewards (stickers, chocolate buttons) and punishments (taking toys away, time out) and absolutely nothing appears to be working. I’m at the very end of my patience, I started out very calm and understanding but enough is enough now. He pooed in his pants again this morning and I’m not proud of myself but he had his first smack and has been put back to bed
I don’t know what to do with him, any help or advise would be so appreciated x

He still wears a nappy at bedtime

[Clangus00]

You smacked him & sent him to bed?!
Outrageous!

MAYBE he’s just not ready!

[RhymingRabbit3]

I know you know this, but punishments especially smacking and sending him to bed won't help and will probably make things worse as he will be scared of poos because he gets punished for them, so will hold them in and make the problem worse.

Does he know when he's pooed in his pants or is completely unaware? Does he usually do it at a similar time of day?

[Kanga83]

You smacked a child who is not ready to potty train yet? I'm guessing this is your first. For context, my eldest didn't realise the sensation and couldn't fully stay dry until just before she was 4. My youngest is 3 years and 10 months and only been able to not have accidents for 2 months. I waited until both were ready to train.

[Singlenotsingle]

My dgs still wears a nappy at bedtime in case he wees.. He's nearly 7.

[HotMessMama]

Mumshaming, wow that was helpful advice
Yes as I said I’m not proud of myself but every single day for 5 months we’ve had a poo in his pants. He has mastered weeing so going back to nappies or pull ups now would be such a huge step back.

[Bluebelltulip]

Controlling wee's and poo's is not the same. Do not punish him for this. Does he poo at a similar time each day? Could you put a nappy on when he is likely to poo and have it off the rest of the time?

[RJnomore1]

Or sit him on the toilet when a poo is due?

[Mylittlepony374]

If it was me I'd put him in pull ups. He can keep using the toilet for wees that way until he's ready and able to control poos. Poos always take longer.
He can't control poos yet, he's just not ready, and that just makes him being hit for it even more heartbreaking.

[SnugStars]

Have a look at -

//www.eric.org.uk

[jelly79]

I'm a little behind you but I potty trained my DS at 2.7 and he took to wee's so so well - surprisingly so! We are a month in and no problems at all - he enjoys it.
With poo's he hides and poos in his pants, or on the floor then tells me straight away. I keep his pants off at home and watch out for signs and really try and encourage him to sit on the potty (which he refuses or cries at) he saves it for the bath sometimes. Nursery have said it will just click so I suppose be consistent, active encouragement. Do you put his poos in the toilet and wave bye bye or let him flush?

Take the pressure off you both for a bit and remember he will get it. I hope mine will x

[Soontobe60]

I'm shocked that you think it's ok to smack a child who's not yet toilet trained.
This would trigger a referral to social services in my school nursery.
That being said, I suggest you contact the Health Visitor for advice. Try to have a full weekend at home where he doesn't wear any pants, have a potty on hand, and give him loads of praise when he sits on it. Make sure he's had lots of foods that would help him go easily.
Whatever you do, do NOT chastise him at all!

[Wildorchidz]

I’m not proud of myself but he had his first smack and has been put back to bed sad
I don’t know what to do with him, any help or advise would be so appreciated

I would say you have now caused an issue that may go on for months and it serves you fucking well right !!!
Your poor little boy.

[Oliversmumsarmy]

Ds wasn’t fully dry till 6 weeks before he went to school.

Why the need for him to be clean

He will get there but in his own time.
Smacking just creates more problems not less