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Every 30 mins just not working... trying too frequently?

(9 Posts)
WantToLiveOnRakiura Fri 22-Nov-19 02:28:59

DS (just 3, recently diagnosed with ASD) decided he wanted to do toilet training on Weds night, so we went for it yesterday - stayed home all day, bottom half naked, on the potty either as a seat when playing, or every 30 mins. Lots of drinks. Not a single wee all morning, nothing on the potty or toilet at all. Then 2 big wees on the floor shortly after lunch (and minutes after being taken to the toilet), then nothing until another giant one in the bath at 7pm.
Today he weed in the toilet before breakfast, then at nursery (being taken to the toilet every 20-30 mins) he had 2 accidents.

He's clearly been only weeing a few times a day for >6 months. He seems not to really have any concept of being able to wee at will - obviously this takes time. But given that he might only do 3 or 4 wees all day, is trying every 30 minutes too frequent?

Just heading off the inevitable "isn't 3 a bit late to start, aren't you a bit lazy" comments, we were going to train him >6 months ago but OT advice was to wait a bit due to life circumstances (we were travelling every couple of weeks for the last 6 months) and that waiting would give him headspace to sort out other areas of development, given that that's what we've been focusing on in the last 6 months. So here we are...

OP’s posts: |
ffswhatnext Fri 22-Nov-19 02:40:28

He will get there and accidents will happen.
It's a long time since I was down this road.
Underpants helped a lot, or maybe it was just a coincidence.
Every now and then I would mention the toilet, especially around meal times and just before going in the bath (running a bath always makes me want to go lol).
I was just relaxed about it and lots of very quiet cheers when the toilet was used.

It's sad that you had to put a reason why and those who question why a child isn't trained yet should be ashamed of themselves.

WantToLiveOnRakiura Sat 23-Nov-19 00:31:05

Still no sense of weeing on demand. Every wee has been an accident and nothing has gone in the potty or toilet since the original post. Finally managed to poo in nappy after holding it for 2 days.

Have to persevere for a bit but i am wondering if he's really just not ready...

OP’s posts: |
KellyHall Sat 23-Nov-19 00:34:39

It doesn't sound like he's really ready. If he's insistent, I'd get him pull ups so he can use them as a nappy or pull them down to use the toilet.
Children will all do it at their own pace, they can't be rushed if they're not ready but equally won't be held back if they're determined so don't worry about age, just find a solution that works for him mentally and physically.

KellyHall Sat 23-Nov-19 00:45:02

Also, I drove myself mental asking my dd if she needed the toilet and watching her like a hawk for 'the face'. In the end, I just told her at each stage:

"It's time for your morning wee wee"
"Let's sit on the toilet before we have lunch so you can relax and enjoy your lunch"
"Once you've sat on the toilet we can go out (to the park, etc)
"Make sure you sit on the toilet after you've brushed your teeth so we can keep your bed cosy and dry"

Good luck flowers

sometimesalways Sat 23-Nov-19 14:38:08

OP I have just today started putting my DS in underpants and trying the every 30' routine. He just turned 3 and the nursery suggested we start, 'it's a good age for it'. We had tried once more almost a year ago but he was nowhere near ready and I aborted after a few days.

Can't say we have made any progress but it's only been half a day. He's had to be changed 7-8 times and never really asking to sit / and going after I have just taken him! Frustrating but I know (am hoping) it's normal part of the process... I guess we will have to see where we are in a few days...

Any progress for you today?
I am asking him (in v calm way) to let us know before he goes if he can but I am worried I am overemphasising it and might make him nervous and make things worst.

WantToLiveOnRakiura Tue 26-Nov-19 02:44:48

I found it took a few days for him to know when he is about to wee. So zero progress first 2-3 days, then he suddenly got it.

He now does the archetypal little kid wiggle dance for a minute or two before the wee, not wanting to wet his nice new undies and shorts (we've timed it nicely to coincide with the first week of shorts weather for summer here). So we've had a bit of progress - still a long way to go but now happy sitting on big toilets, and reliably getting a good morning wee on the toilet, a couple of rushed ones during the day (at least once accident - i think I really need to carry a jar for when we're out), one before dinner, and one either before the bath or in the bath. And his night pull-up has been dry the last few mornings - fingers crossed this continues!

And typically him - he's now fascinated by the idea that liquids take the shape of whatever they're in. So spends his time on the toilet or potty talking in great detail about what shape the wee is going to be :-)

OP’s posts: |
WantToLiveOnRakiura Fri 29-Nov-19 02:14:37

@sometimesalways how's it going for your DS?

Yesterday we had a dry night pull-up, morning wee on the toilet, a heroically held-in wee til we got to a toilet; then a no-warning poo and wee accident (grim), then a wee accident shortly after - then nothing til a wee in the bath about 8 hours later.

Today, another dry night pull-up, a wee in the toilet first thing, and several more wees on the toilet at nursery - so ZERO accidents!!!!

OP’s posts: |
sometimesalways Fri 29-Nov-19 09:32:34

@WantToLiveOnRakiura dry night one is amazing! We are nowhere near that, night pull-ups are always full in the morning.
But day time is alright here. It's been 3 days that he had no wee accidents - he doesn't always ask for it but he happily sits on the toilet with us and at nursery and it's been ok. One poo in potty but the rest sadly not 💩 needless to say the washing machine is on every day!

But there's been clear progress so am persevering. Seems your LO is doing great too!

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