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3y9m daughter refuses to poo in the potty - Help!

(16 Posts)
nopoointhepotty Sun 10-Nov-19 21:54:45

Hi all,
My daughter is turning 4 in February and we haven’t been able to fully potty trained her yet. She’s absolutely fine to do wees and rarely has a wee accident but she refuses to do poo in the potty. The only way to get her to poo in the potty is by tricking her to watch TV while sitting in the potty. She’s perfectly aware when she wants to do poo or if she’s done poo, she would normally say that she wants to be on her own or will hide somewhere, etc, if we try to force her to use the potty she would just cry and ask to please leave her alone.
This situation has been going for more than 6 months, we tried all sort of things but she would still do poo in her pants. We had a number of situations where she was constipated, would hold herself for a few days and will later do a massive poo while watching TV and sitting in the potty, in these situations we need to hold her hands as she would cry in pain.
A week ago we took her to the doctor who suggested to give her laxido every day, we’ve been doing that and she has regular poo but always in her pants.
We’ve been always supportive and we don’t want to make her feel bad when she has accidents, it seems to be something stronger than her.
She currently going to nursery where the situation is the same, the nursery staff say that she would hide and do poo without telling anyone but when it comes to wee, she would ask for the toilet.
Has anyone been in this situation? I heard a lot of advices but nothing seems to work, we are a bit desperate now

OP’s posts: |
Yakadee Mon 18-Nov-19 06:58:31

We were in a similar situation recently however my son would just hold it in instead, seriously for days! I rang the health visitors as I didn't know how to help. She suggested getting bubbles so when he needed to go, sit him on the toilet / potty and get him to blow bubbles. Apparently it's the same feeling / muscles you'd use (something like that).

I'm not sure if that worked or not, but the distraction helped. I'm sure you're already doing everything you can as far as praise etc. It's so difficult but one day, it just clicked? He now goes several times a day.

I really hope you get through this soon. I understand how upsetting it is x

nopoointhepotty Sun 24-Nov-19 22:45:33

Thanks so much for your reply Yakadee! I tried to get her to blow bubbles this week, it didn't work yet but I'll keep trying.

Today she sat on the potty for around 20 minutes and said she didn't want to do poo only to find out 5 minutes late that she's done it on her pants :-( It seems to be stronger than her

The good thing is that she seems to be getting used to do poo in the afternoon when we come back from nursery, I need to find a way to convince her to do it in the potty.

We have an appointment with a paediatrician next week, I'm really hoping the doctor can suggest something else

OP’s posts: |
Ihatesandwiches Sun 24-Nov-19 22:54:01

Does she need to use a potty? The first time DD sat on a potty she did a massive poo and was traumatized! Set us back weeks....
She went for a wee on the toilet and had a poo in pull ups. Would go and get one, poo and ask for help.
She's now 8 and has lovely independent toilet habits.

Excitedforxmas Sun 24-Nov-19 22:55:32

Ditch the potty! Toilet and flush it away. My daughter hated looking at it so binned the potty

Fig678 Sun 24-Nov-19 22:57:06

There’s an app called Poo Land. Try that

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer Sun 24-Nov-19 23:00:32

Dd liked the poo goes to poo land and I shamelessly bribed her with a chocolate bunny (it was Easter)
It did take a while longer than the wees and I found that the really didn’t like doing it in the potty as it touched her while she was going.
We bought Dd a toilet ladder thing that she was able to use independently. She still won’t go if anyone is around so privacy and letting her watch a video on the loo were useful.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer Sun 24-Nov-19 23:01:30

Once she had done it twice, we had no more issues.

WinkyisbackontheButterBeer Sun 24-Nov-19 23:02:45

Sorry so many typos. My battery is dying and it sends my phone mental.

IsAStormApproaching Sun 24-Nov-19 23:04:37

My dd was like this.
She knew she needed but held it in. We tried her in the toilet with a little step and she went. We then gave Mr poo a wave and flushed him away. We probably looked crazy but it worked The position she sat on l toilet seemed to look more comfortable for her too. She wasn't all hunched up.

lilyfire Sun 24-Nov-19 23:07:37

Yes to Poo goes to Poo land. Life changing book!

Yestermost Sun 24-Nov-19 23:09:48

Dd refused the potty but loved the loo. I would too!

notangelinajolie Sun 24-Nov-19 23:10:41

Does she have to use a potty? Can you get her a step and a seat for the loo so that she can poo like mummy and daddy. I think at nearly 4 she should be using the toilet.

AverageMommy76 Wed 18-Dec-19 17:15:59

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NameChange30 Wed 18-Dec-19 17:20:04

FunkyPidgeonPie Fri 17-Jan-20 17:46:53

Already said this on a similar thread. Take heart! This is quite common. To save her knickers you might want to supply her with a Pull Up or a nappy to poo in. There’s a school of thought that says it’s better to let her do it this way rather than risk constipation/pain/impacted stool.

The ERIC advice about how to move on from that is worth reading.

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