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Do I admit defeat on potty training?

(13 Posts)
JH12 Mon 02-Sep-19 09:35:27

My son turned 3 a few weeks ago and have been potty training for just over 4 weeks now. He is fine with wees but continues to poo in his pants. He has pood on the potty a handful of times so know he's not scared to do it. We have tried everything, rewards, bribery, books, apps but he's just not getting it. I don't want to use pull ups as I don't want to set him back with the weeing. It's getting impossible to go out as you just don't know when he is going to do it. You can put him on the potty and then 5 minutes later he will have pood.
I don't really want to give up now due to the amount of time we have already put in and think it might confuse him.
Do I carry on and hope for the best or admit defeat and try again later?

OP’s posts: |
Runninginthewild Mon 02-Sep-19 11:17:59

It took my son until just after 3 to learn to use the toilet. He didnt like the potty at all. I didnt train him either. Just completed waited until he was ready and it was like he just clicked. I said I would get him a toy from the big shop if he pooed on the toilet. Once he did, that was it. He just went. Dont be disheartened. I dont think using pull ups will change that he wees on the potty either.

Magpiefeather Mon 02-Sep-19 11:32:57

I wouldn’t give up. It must be really tough but you have both done so well already to get to this point!

Also not much of a silver lining when you’re cleaning his poo up everyday but at least he is pooing! We are potty training my DD at the moment, fine with wees but will not poo for love nor money! It’s really stressful as she’s really starting to feel unwell. So just to give a different perspective, as I’m sure you can’t imagine it but today I’d be delighted if she’d poo her pants!!!

A few tips I’ve seen mentioned before that might help..
- get him to choose character underwear he likes, then when you change him after an accident he might be a disappointed to not be able to wear his favourite ones anymore
- get him to help do the clean up and make it as mundane and boring and time consuming as possible - if he sees that it eats into play time and stops him doing fun things he may decide to take the far simpler route of going to the loo

Ooh also does he have an older friend / relative that he looks up to? With dd lots of talk of “doing wees and poos on the toilet like xxx” has worked wonders. Well apart from the poo thing....

Very best of luck!

Bumpandtoddler Mon 02-Sep-19 16:38:21

My toddler (son) turned 3 in July and we started potty training at Easter, he grasped the wees in a day or so.... Brilliant I thought. Fast forward to September.... I think we are only just getting the pooing sorted. He would go 5 days with no poo then on the 4th and 5th days the number of shitty pants we went through was infuriating. He is now managing to understand the feeling of needing a poo and it's getting more frequent and less messy! He has only just started responding to a "special prize" for having a poo. Keep going and try not to get frustrated. Try to encourage sit down wees.... My son hates sitting down for a wee because daddy doesn't, so I don't think he realises he needs a poo. Good luck!!

JH12 Mon 02-Sep-19 19:48:22

Thanks ladies, that's all very reassuring. I did buy him his favourite pj masks pants, and he only gets to wear the plain ones once he has pood in them. There are a couple of things there tho that I haven't tried so will give them a go. I'll keep going with it xx

OP’s posts: |
Magpiefeather Tue 03-Sep-19 07:17:26

One other thing, as thankfully DD did poo yesterday in the end. It began as an accident and we transferred to the loo. What I realised is she is so used to pooing standing up she just didn’t feel right sitting down, so she needed lots of help (and a kind of restraining cuddle when she was sat down). Do you think your DS is supsicious of sitting to poo? Good luck!

JH12 Tue 03-Sep-19 08:28:49

Magpie feather I think he is ok sitting down to poo. He has pood on the potty a couple of times but think they were flukes. But he usually tells me when he is actually doing doing it (not before) if I can can get him on the potty quick enough he will finish on the potty. I think it's just a case of he doesn't know he's going to do it until he's doing it x

OP’s posts: |
GreenTulips Tue 03-Sep-19 08:32:33

Have your tried the toilet instead?

Also get him a comic book to ‘read’ whilst sitting but only on the potty or toilet. There’s loads of kids ones with stickers

Tigerwhocamefortea Tue 03-Sep-19 08:36:34

This sounds like my DS who is almost 3. He cracked weeing within a few days but 2 months later is still pooing in his pants the majority of the time. Luckily he only tends to go once a day and at home so I can often catch him doing it and whisk him to the potty.

NewName54321 Tue 03-Sep-19 09:24:06

Try the toilet instead of the potty. Put some paper in the pan so there isn't any "splash".

Start a routine of going to the toilet after each meal. Make sure he is sitting securely with his feet supported and knees higher than his hips.

Get him to sit for several minutes, read a book.
Reward (sticker, pom-pom, smiley) for sitting, additional reward for pooing. Drinking warm blackcurrant juice and blowing bubbles might help getting things moving.

KellyHall Tue 03-Sep-19 14:12:56

A couple of children I know pood their pants for a year after potty training successfully with wees! Their parents (two separate families) just bought lots of cheap pants.

Do you have a travel potty you can take out and about with you? The pottette plus works well for us as it folds quite flat and is quick to whip out of the bag and be ready to use.

JH12 Tue 03-Sep-19 14:41:55

A year!!! I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse hahaha. We take the potty everywhere we go. He doesn't really like the toilet even with a seat. I think it's to intimidating. We do try and take the potty to the bathroom tho just to get him used to it xx

OP’s posts: |
BelleCarig Tue 03-Sep-19 15:45:51

We followed the oh crap potty training with my DD and so far have had only 1 poo accident.
The book says to have them go commando - no pants at all for a month or so as they are obviously used to pooing in nappies and the pants just replace the feeling of nappies (i.e keeping the poo close to the skin.)

I'd recommend lots of joggers or trousers with elastic cuffs at the leg but honestly it really helped my DD crack it.
Good luck!

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