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Distracted toddler won’t tell me they need to go

(7 Posts)
Midlandsmummy29 Mon 22-Jul-19 15:03:43

Hi. DD has been potty training for around 3 months now. She will be 3 at the end of September. She knows what to do, if we leave her bottomless she will run to the potty and use it happily. She can also pull down loose clothes, lift up her dress etc to use the potty. If we are out, I take her to the toilet regularly and she’ll happily use it. She is dry overnight, doesn’t need a pull up. We used to put pull-ups when going out but stopped that to avoid confusion, we take plenty of spare clothes instead.

The main problem is that she doesn’t tell us when she needs the toilet and we have to keep prompting her. She is often so engrossed in playing that she’ll have an accident and tell us afterwards. We had a couple of days where she told us she needed to go and we showered her with praise but then she stopped telling us!

We are three months in and it’s starting to drive me mad. She has between 0-3 accidents per day and has never had more than 2 days in a row dry.

I feel like this is the last part that needs to click into place but it’s really stressing me now as the last few months have revolved around reminding her to use the toilet!

WhyDoesItAlways Mon 22-Jul-19 18:10:51

Sorry I have no advice but jumping on because we are having the same problem with DS who is the same age as your DD. I have no doubt that he gets using the potty or toilet, knows when to go and has great bladder control but we haven't had a dry day yet. The accidents always happen in the afternoon when I think he gets tired and more easily distracted.

Midlandsmummy29 Mon 22-Jul-19 21:28:08

Yes, it’s the same here. Late afternoon, early evening are more accident prone times. She doesn’t nap anymore so if there’s a day when she’s more tired there tends to be more accidents.
It is a bit of a relief hearing someone else is experiencing the same. I’m just going to persevere but I find it so hard when speaking to friends who have children the same age that cracked it within weeks

WhyDoesItAlways Mon 22-Jul-19 22:23:27

I am so guilty of comparing DS to friends kids. Most of my NCT group had their kids trained nearly a year ago so feel like we're far behind which I know is stupid.

I think we made progress today. He'd been on the toilet before I even got up this morning all by himself and stayed dry till gone 3pm. Usually after an accident he gives up and had loads more but after his accident today he went straight back to using the potty with very little prompting. Just one little accident after that where he went to the potty but just didn't make it in time.

I find he's worse if I ask him if he needs a wee/potty/toilet and will always say no and then avoid using it but I've found that if I ask him every now and then 'where do we do out wees' he'll answer and say potty and then if he needs to go it will prompt him to do it without me actually asking or telling him to go.

Midlandsmummy29 Mon 29-Jul-19 20:02:36

For the last 4 days I have backed right off with prompting to see how my DD would respond. The result was that she started telling me when she needed to go and if a potty was nearby, she just took herself and came to tell me afterwards. I have only prompted her before a car journey, the rest I have left to her.

The first day she had 2 accidents but they were near misses to be honest as she told me but we couldn’t get to the toilet on time. We have had 3 days in a row now with 0 accidents which is amazing to be honest.

Still very early days but I certainly feel like giving her more control has helped to make progress.

WhyDoesItAlways Sun 11-Aug-19 21:11:47

Sorry, only just seen your reply. We went back to nappies in the end with DS occasionally taking it off to use the potty. He just got gradually worse until one day when he had 6 accidents and one of them was definitely on purpose (all over my sofa). But then on Thursday he asked for pants and has been dry with the exception of a long car journey today after he had drank 3 cups of juice and a fruit shoot at a party so can't really blame him.

I have also taken a back seat and let him get on with it and I've also found he doesn't get irritated if I feel like I do need to prompt him which is maybe once a day if I see him jiggling around. So early days here but definitely looking good.

CMCM82 Fri 20-Sep-19 19:59:54

Anyone any further advice, my little boy is potty trained and goes himself in house either in potty or toilet. He goes for us and grandparents with no problems in the house.
He goes to nursery 2 days a week and even if you show him toilet and take him to toilet he will have an accident at some stage. He pooed in pants 10 mins after going to toilet. Same things happens in soft play areas. He goes to toilet and then within 30 mins has pooed in his pants.
It’s nearly as if he so excited to be there and so distracted he forgets to go to toilet.
Any advice?

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