Potty Training Help Needed

[PatchworkElmer]

I’m really hoping that someone will be able to offer a bit of advice.

We’re on day 2 or potty training our 31 month old. Yesterday we did naked from the waist down and he was amazing- we put him on the potty when he showed signs of needing to go, he only had a couple of accidents all day. He self initiated a couple of times, including for a poo.

Today... it’s been awful. He’s been in loose trousers, and he’s had 5 wee accidents and 1 poo accident. Got onto the potty for 2 wees because he told us he needed a wee and we got him there quickly. He was upset after each accident (cried just now and said “oh no, I did a wee wee not in the potty!!”) I think he knows he needs to go, but when we ask he says no. If I try to put him on the potty when I think he’s showing signs, he kicks off.

I’m really disheartened. We’re quite relaxed and I genuinely don’t think DS has had anything other than a nice weekend with his parents.

He’s at nursery on Wednesday, so has 2 days left with us. DH is adamant we’re carrying on with trousers (or shorts) and no nappy. I am finding this all a lot harder than I thought.

I’m not sure what to do. Do we:

• Stop training?
  
• Carry on with trousers?
  
• Have him naked again tomorrow?
  

I guess the concern with reverting back to naked is that he did seem to ‘get’ it yesterday, so I’m not sure if we should just try clothes again and hope that it ‘clicks’ as well. I don’t want him to think he can only do this naked!

Any thoughts are most welcome. I’m exhausted and really down- I think it’s the fact that his ‘progress’ is so up and down that’s upsetting me. I’m totally in the dark about whether he’s learning anything here!

[whatdoesntkillus]

I have potty trained three boys at ages 20/25/23 months (and have one more to do!).

This is day 2 right?

Was he showing signs of readiness before you started? Eg knew when he was doing a wee / poo, able to sit on potty for a few mins and be distracted with a book etc? I don’t rate her for much (!) but the Gina Ford potty training book lists signs of readiness before you start and I found that book (v short) useful.

Once you take the nappies off, no going back other than for bedtime. I made sure I had a few clear days where I was almost entirely at home. Had them naked from waist down and for first day sat them on the potty every 20 mins or so. Second day didn’t need to do it that frequently and they would put themselves on. Massive praise when they go etc. I would keep him naked for at least first day, introduce pants if he is doing ok with that. Pants only though when at home, trousers is just another thing to struggle with.

To make the whole pants thing easier buy a few packs of cheap pants so you have eg 10 or even 15 pairs clean. You might need this many in the first couple days! Just chuck the wet pants in a bucket and put a wash on at the end of the day. Disposable changing mat under potty for misses. Books next to the potty for reading when he is on it etc.

It is a bit tying as I sort of think you need to be at home to really get on it. If they are ready it should take only a few days. You then have a stage of a little while where you ha e to be super conscious of them needing to go on not much notice - so no long car journeys etc. I never did travel potty or anything like that - i think they should be able to wait to get to the loo but part of that is choosing places where you are always pretty close to one or outside (boys love a good nature wee!). Put disposable changing mats in buggy / car seat if nec but they should just be in pants unless bedtime.

[jb1305uk]

Keep going! I was very stressed about sending my DD to nursery during potty training as we had a similar experience as you during the first few days. I delayed it, stopped training and started again a few months later. It was the same again and I put DC back in nappies for nursery.

I spoke to DDs key worker and explained that I was worried about the number of accidents at home so didn’t want to send DD to nursery. They told me to stop worrying and send in plenty of changes of clothes. Best thing I did. DD does really well at nursery and watching others use the toilets has encouraged her to use them too.

She has lots of completely dry days and then accidents at times but is doing well overall and I’m far less stressed about the whole thing. I’ve changed my expectations of expecting her to be trained within 2 days and have no accidents at all. Now all I look for is for progress, which she’s definitely making. When there’s an accident, we clean up, don’t make a fuss and move on.

Chat to your child’s key worker and see what they say. My DDs nursery were incredibly helpful.

[PatchworkElmer]

Just wanted to say thank you both for replying. We’re a couple of days down the road now and he’s doing really well. I’m super proud of him! Nursery is tomorrow though, so fingers crossed for that.